How to Stop Being Addicted to Porn: One Unique Method

Consider the following facts about online pornography:
• 25% of all search engine requests (68 million per day) are pornography related
• 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites
• 10% of porn users admit they are addicted to pornography

Part of the reason for the addiction is that viewing porn can cause a dopamine spike which lasts longer than the dopamine release produced by regular sexual activity. Dopamine is the body’s naturally generated chemical reward for good behavior.

Cravings

If you are among the 10% or porn users who are addicted, a way to beat the addiction is simple to state but may be tough to execute. You’ll have to instruct your subconscious mind to respond to your porn cravings in a healthy, new way.

Often, the cravings begin with undesired thoughts about sex that do not go away no matter how hard you try to ignore them. The thoughts then become a craving which is a consuming desire for a particular thing. Watching porn and the subsequent release are the only activities that can satisfy that pressure. The cravings then return, stronger than ever.

Cravings grow exponentially like a bell curve and get too intense to resist. Physically, they can be accompanied by shallow breathing, a quickened pulse and even increased blood pressure. However, the key is to recognize that no feeling, even a craving, can last indefinitely. Left on its own it will fizzle out. Knowing that, the way to stop a porn addiction is to ride the craving out. This is the tough to execute part.

Subduing the Cravings

A technique that has been effective in eliminating or greatly reducing cravings is called ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). It can be completed in six steps:

• Imagine what generates the craving. This could include being alone at the computer or being where pornographic magazines are.
• Measure your pulse for 15 seconds, multiply the beats times four and record the results
• Breathe in, hold your breath and breathe out for ten seconds for each step. Go ten times through this cycle.
• Re-examine the personal reasons you have for wanting to stop this addiction (It will help me have more meaningful sex with my partner, for instance.)
• Re-measure your pulse rate and record it.
• Perform an activity for yourself. This might be going to the store, reading, working out, etc.

Repeat these steps anytime you feel a craving. Over time, they will go away and your addiction to porn will stop.

How to Properly Use the Internet to Avoid Porn

If you’re struggling with a porn addiction or just trying to cut back on an excessive porn habit, the Internet can be a challenge. But while the Internet can trap you in hours of pornography and endless time wasting, it’s also a powerful tool that most people need for work, financial planning and even basic activities such as getting directions. For most people, giving up the Internet is not realistic. Even though many people develop a porn addiction online, the Internet can also play an important role in fighting the temptation to use pornography. Both by setting up Internet-based barriers to porn use and by relying on the Internet to access support, you can successfully shake off the shackles of porn.

Setting Up Barriers

Many people in the beginning stages of giving up porn up to only use computers in public locations, to use computers they share with their wives or children or to limit their Internet use to a small length of time each day. But if your job requires that you use the Internet or you live alone, this strategy often isn’t realistic. You’ll need to get creative and be truly motivated to give up porn – not just doing it for someone else – if you’re going to use the Internet without someone else to monitor what you’re doing.

Setting up kid safe searching on all of the search engines you use is a powerful tool. It forces you to think twice before accessing porn and makes it much less likely that you’ll “accidentally” encounter pornography and be thrown back into an addiction. You should also set up safe browsing on your web browser; this will prevent you from accessing pornographic sites even if your search engine finds them. Sometimes these functions block perfectly safe sites, though, so add a list of “permitted” sites. You should also keep your credit card and wallet away from your computer and remove your information from any online payment accounts you have. Cancel all your memberships to pornographic websites, and delete and bookmarked porn sites you have on your web browser. This gives you a clean slate, as well as a strong incentive to keep that slate clean!

Getting Support

While the Internet is a stumbling block into pornography for many people, it can also help you begin the road away from your addiction. Try registering on online support forums for recovering addicts. Many message boards are devoted solely to porn addiction. Reading other people’s stories can be heartening, and message boards can provide you with support to resist temptation whenever you need it, in the privacy and anonymity of your own home.

Try blogging anonymously about your addiction. This gives you an opportunity to help others, and helping people can help you feel better during the darkest moment of your addiction. It’s also a great way to cope with cravings because it keeps your mind and hands busy. Finally, it’s a productive outlet that could even get you some positive attention and support and help from other people who have struggled with the addiction.

Giving up pornography doesn’t mean you have to give up the Internet, and in a world where support is readily available, you can no longer blame the Internet if you slip up. You and you alone are responsible for your addiction and with dedication and support, you’ll find you go days and even weeks without thinking of pornography. The key is to get through the difficult first steps and to know how to fight off temptation.

References:
Kimmel, M. S. (1990). Men confront pornography. New York, NY: Crown.

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. (2010). Sexual addiction: Sexual addiction, pornography addiction, sex and love addiction, Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. Memphis, TN: Books LLC.

Treatment for Porn Addiction

The battle to fight any addiction can be frustrating for both the addict and his loved ones, and porn addiction is no exception. Many people seeking treatment have struggled for years both with the addiction and the effect it has had on personal relationships, hobbies and employment. If you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction to pornography, it’s important to recognize that addiction is a disease, not a choice, and this disease often requires extensive treatment to cure. There are several excellent and highly-effective treatment options available for people struggling with porn addiction.

Traditional Psychotherapy

Porn addiction often springs from unresolved emotional conflicts and psychological problems. Some porn addicts have difficulty with intimacy, insecurity about their sexuality or disdainful feelings for the opposite sex. Psychotherapy – sometimes called talk therapy – can help addicts discover the underlying issues that have contributed to their porn addiction and combat them head-on. This treatment is especially effective for people who have experienced personal problems due to their addiction because it gives an addict the chance to rebuild his entire life rather than just giving up pornography.

Medication

In extreme cases, some pornography addicts feel so anxious and restless when they’re not watching porn that they’re unable to deal with normal daily life. Anti-anxiety medications can be extremely effective at taking the edge off of these feelings. Similarly, some people develop addictions due to unresolved mental health issues, particularly depression. Anti-depressants and other drugs designed to treat these disorders can stabilize a porn addict enough to shake the habit. Medication works best when it’s done in conjunction with some form of porn treatment or psychotherapy.

Group Treatment

The most popular form of group treatment for pornography addiction is Sexaholics Anonymous, a 12-step program. This program is particularly effective for people who also struggle with sex addiction. The companionship and support of the group can be powerful, and group members are encouraged to rely on each other during moments of weakness. Some inpatient treatment programs also offer group therapy, and psychotherapists sometimes encourage patients to seek out groups recovering from pornography addiction.

Neurologically-Informed Therapy

Pornography addiction isn’t just a behavioral choice. Our brains respond to our environments, and frequent use of pornography can actually rewire your brain, making intimacy much more difficult and making it nearly impossible to give up pornography. Neurologically-informed therapy aims to help addiction sufferers combat the effects of porn on their brains. This, in turn, enables addicts to change their behavior. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, for example, helps sufferers to gradually re-train their brains to process thoughts differently. There are also several promising programs designed to gradually help sufferers alter the way their brains process pornography, including the Internet-based Candeo Healthy Sexuality, which teaches addicts how to work with – rather than against – their brains to gradually overcome porn addiction.

You may find that you have to try several different methods – or even combine methods – before you find something that works, but the battle against pornography can be won.

References:
Candeo Sexual Addiction Recovery. (n.d.). Candeo Sexual Addiction Recovery RSS. Retrieved from http://candeohealthysexuality.com/

Skinner, K. B. (2005). Treating pornography addiction: The essential tools for recovery. Provo, UT: GrowthClimate.

How to Stop Watching Porn

The Internet has turned the pornography business into an industry that rakes in billions of dollars a year, and most people watch pornography at one time or another. As porn becomes increasingly normalized, it also becomes increasingly challenging to stop watching it, particularly when graphic images are only a quick mouse click away. But pornography can also interfere with your intimate life. Many people find that porn lowers their sexual satisfaction, causes resentment toward sexual partners, diminishes sexual performance and interferes with interpersonal relationships. If your use of pornography has harmed your personal or professional life, or if you feel you can’t stop watching porn, you might need professional help. But if you’re simply struggling to finally give up the compulsion, try these tricks.

Building Accountability

Many porn users would be horrified if someone else fount out what they were watching, and accountability is an excellent way to avoid the pitfalls of porn. If you live with a significant other, use only a shared computer and never clear the history. Try using the computer only when they’re home or in the room. And if you don’t live with someone else, try getting help from a friend. Select a person or group of people you can call if you’re feeling an overwhelming urge to watch porn. 12-step programs can also help, because they’ll provide you with a community of people you can lean on when the going gets rough.

Creating Barriers

If you make watching porn more difficult, you’ll have a few extra seconds to stop and think about your decision before you commit to it. Try installing a porn blocker on your computer or only permitting access to websites you need for work or school. If you purchase porn at stores, try taking a friend shopping with you when you go out so you won’t feel tempted to run to the local sex store.

Replacing Pornography

Pornography serves as an unhealthy substitute for real intimacy, and many people find that their emotional lives suffer as a result of their porn usage. One of the most effective ways to end the use of pornography is to rebuild intimacy – with friends, family and romantic partners. Emotional closeness releases powerful chemicals in the brain that mimic the same chemicals pornography produces. But unlike pornography, genuine care and love with other people doesn’t result in fleeting feelings of happiness. Call a friend or go visit your parents; take your spouse out or spend time with your children. Not only will you find you have less time for pornography; you’ll also find that the brief emotional release pornography provides can be replaced by genuine care and sustainable relationships.

Seeking Treatment

If you find that you can’t stop using pornography on your own, professional treatment can be highly effective. A skilled counselor can help you eliminate porn from your life and rebuild what porn has broken. While seeking treatment can be scary at first, it’s often the first step toward a meaningful and blissfully porn-free life.

References:
Yoder, V. C., Virden, T. B., & Amin, K. (2005). Internet Pornography and Loneliness: An Association? Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 12(1), 19-44. doi: 10.1080/10720160590933653

Internet Pornography Addiction Explained

Internet pornography addiction is an increasingly common and serious problem. While traditional porn in magazines and videos required an upfront financial investment and advanced planning, Internet pornography is accessible with just the click of a button and offers complete privacy. This can make it much more addictive and much more difficult to stop using. The symptoms of pornography addiction are similar to other addictions, and include withdrawal, depression, anger and difficulty enjoying normal activities.

What Are the Symptoms of Internet Pornography Addiction?

Every person with an addiction is different, and few people experience all of the symptoms. The most important element of addiction is an inability to quit, despite porn’s interference in at least one important area of life. Other common symptoms include:

• Excessive use of pornography that interferes with work, time with family or previously-enjoyed activities
• Increasing need for pornography or an increasing appetite for more violent or extreme pornography
• Difficulty in sexual relationships, including difficulty with arousal and sexual performance
• Fighting with friends or family about pornography usage
• Feeling a rush when looking for or using pornography, followed by depression after use
• Personal, financial or employment difficulties as a result of pornography use

What Causes Internet Pornography Addiction?

Researchers don’t yet fully understand why some people get addicted to pornography and others don’t. Visual stimuli tends to be very powerful, and the brain can quickly become hooked upon the striking images of pornography. Porn causes a rush of powerful chemicals called endorphins – the same chemicals your body releases when you use drugs, have sex or exercise – and the endorphin rush can alter the way your brain processes porn. There may also be a genetic element of addiction; people who have addicts in their family are much more likely to become addicts themselves. Finally, men are more likely to develop a porn addiction than women due to cultural pressures, masculine gender conditioning and – in some cases – internalized sexism and a desire to control women.

How is Internet Pornography Addiction Treated?

Most people with a porn addiction attempt to stop using by going cold turkey, but for many people, this doesn’t work. Mental health treatment, including the use of psychoactive drugs and psychotherapy, can be highly effective. Some people with porn addictions also struggle with compulsive sexuality, and may be helped by 12-step programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous. Because people sometimes develop a porn addiction due to loneliness or lack of intimacy, people are much more likely to kick the addiction when they’re able to build meaningful relationships and discover interests and hobbies other than porn.

References:
Schaefer, W. S. (2008). Addiction. Detroit, MI: Greenhaven Press.

Skinner, K. B. (2005). Treating pornography addiction: The essential tools for recovery. Provo, UT: GrowthClimate.

How to Stop an Addiction to Porn

Porn addiction has become a significant problem in the US over the past twenty-five years. As the Internet introduced porn into any home with a connection, it also became accessible on laptops, smartphones, and other devices. Unfortunately an increase in porn addiction has been one of the results.

Porn addiction is a type of sex addiction, along with other compulsive sexual behaviors. Of course even though millions of people look at porn every day, not everybody becomes a porn addict. But for those who are addicted, the effects can be devastating. It can lead to broken marriages, lost jobs, and the disruption of personal relationships.

Many addicts use porn to hide from their pain or feelings of not being good enough, just as a drug addict takes drugs to escape. Looking at porn causes the secretion of hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, the hormones that make people feel good. It also increases adrenaline. It’s those good feelings that cause addicts to return to porn again and again, ignoring relationships and responsibilities in favor of getting that high.
Fortunately porn addiction can be treated. If you think you may have a porn addiction, seek help from a psychotherapist. Here are five additional things you can do to start the healing process:

1. Find Support

All addicts need support, no matter what their drug of choice. Although a spouse or significant other is a normal place to turn in times of crisis, with porn addiction this is not usually advised. Spouses have strong emotions around the sexual ramifications of porn addiction and are usually too close to the problem to be able to help. That’s why it is essential for an addict to find a respected mental health professional or close trusted friend to confide in.

2. Get Educated

It is very helpful for both the addict and significant other to understand the signs of porn addiction. Common signs include hoarding porn, losing time when looking at porn, and becoming angry when asked to stop looking at porn. Porn addicts may also spend longer and longer amounts of time viewing porn, neglecting relationships and responsibilities.

3. 12-Step program

There are a variety of sex addiction 12-Step programs, each with their own methods and beliefs. Sexaholics Anonymous and Sex Addicts Anonymous are often recommended for people with pornography addictions. Additionally, there are also psychologists who specialize in addictive sexual behaviors for those addicts seeking therapy.

4. Limit Access

Pornography addiction can be more difficult to treat than other addictions because the Internet is so prevalent. Computers are a necessary part of everyday life and most people need them to work as well. You can install tracking devices on your computer that monitor which websites you can log onto. Some devices will limit time spent on the computer also.

5. Avoid Triggers

Anything that can trigger the use of pornography should be avoided. Try not to be home alone, where it can be easy to relapse. If depressive thoughts and anxiety often lead to the use of pornography, you can try replacing porn with stress-relievers such as exercise or meditation.

Although porn addiction is a serious problem, treatment is possible. It is up to the addict to decide when they are ready so that they can find the program that works best for them.

Porn Addiction is Real and There’s Little Room for Debate

Over the years, there have been many people and researchers who have doubted the validity and existence of porn addiction. Many of these people have written off being addicted to porn as being addicted to sex, or they have assumed that people who have addictions to porn are simply perverts and do not suffer from a mental disease. However, porn addiction is not the same thing as sex addiction, and people who suffer from porn addiction actually do suffer from the same psychological addiction symptoms as people who suffer from alcohol or smoking addictions.

Certain researchers believe that viewing pornographic images is akin to puffing on a cigarette. Just as a person receives small puffs of nicotine when he or she is smoking a cigarette, a person looking at pornographic images is receiving a small burst of dopamine for each image they view.

In general, men seem to suffer from porn addiction at a rate that is three times higher than the rate at which women suffer from porn addiction, however the number of women addicted is on the rise. Many people have proposed that there is a link between the increase in documented porn addiction cases and the prevalence of Internet pornography. In fact, according to an article in 2006 for MSNBC, at least 25 million Americans a week visit sites that host pornography. Even more astounding might be the fact that 72 million Americans visit porn sites annually. Not only is it easy for people to get their hands on pornography, but it is cheap or free, it can be found in a wide variety of fetishes, and the process can be completely anonymous.

Because of the rise of the number of cases of porn addiction that have been diagnosed, there has been an increase in demand for porn addiction treatment. Many of the early models of porn addiction treatment followed the 12-step program that was created by the Alcoholics Anonymous founders, but there has been an increase in alternative treatment options as well. Some of the additional treatment options that exist for people who are addicted to porn include therapy, medication, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), education, re-sensitization and Emotional Freedom Technique. These and more types of treatments are being used to treat trauma, abuse, and stresses that may be the roots of the addiction and causing people to seek out porn for comfort and excitement.

So the argument against porn addiction being a real problem is shrinking.

Five Easy Ways to Protect Your Family on The Internet

A computer with Internet access is a given in many homes. Thanks to the widespread use of the Internet, individuals can stay in touch with their families no matter where they are in the world. It is easier than ever before to complete school research projects and find information about any subject in the world. There is no doubt that the benefits of living in a wired world are many.

However, there are also dangers lurking on the Internet. Kids and teens in particular can fall prey to predators. Internet-based identity theft can cause serious hassles and can even damage a consumer’s credit rating. The five following tips are designed to help you protect your family while enjoying all the positive aspects of the Internet.

Teach your kids about Internet safety. The best way to protect your family on the Internet is to ensure that your kids know about good online safety practices. Be sure that your kids understand that they should never give away sensitive personal information. It’s also a good idea to ask your kids not to post updates about their location on social networking sites.

Keep your computer in a heavily trafficked area of the house. Your kids are less likely to visit websites that you find objectionable if they know that you can see what they’re doing on the computer. Keep the computer in a common area of your house. Make sure to check on your children frequently while they are using the Internet.

Check your children’s email and chat accounts regularly. Many parents are uncomfortable with the idea of reading their children’s email messages. However, scanning through a child’s email account on a regular basis is important. Make sure that you know everyone from whom your child has received emails or chat requests.

Install Internet filters and monitor online activity. There are many Internet filters available on the consumer market. Choose a filter that fits your needs and be sure to install it correctly. Check your software regularly for updates about any questionable searches or online activity.

Always log out of online accounts completely. Logging out of online accounts and shutting down your browser is important, especially if you share a computer with other members of your family. Teach your children to do so as well. Logging out of accounts is a good way to protect your passwords and other personal information.

How Porn Viewing Can Hurt a Marriage

Viewing pornography may seem like a harmless activity that does not affect anyone besides the viewer, but the fact is that porn viewing has been linked to marital problems. Viewing porn can change a viewer’s attitude toward intimacy and leave a spouse feeling unattractive and inadequate.

The Impact Porn Has On a Spouse

The biggest impact that porn viewing has on a marriage is the way it makes the other spouse feel. Even if the spouse that is viewing porn does so on their own time when their spouse is not available for intimate activity, porn viewing often makes the other spouse assume that they are no longer viewed as attractive or desirable. They may even begin to wonder if they are inadequate in relation to intimate activities.

These doubts may lead to mistrust of the spouse that is viewing porn.

How Porn Changes One’s View On Intimacy

The sexual activity that takes place in pornography has no basis in love. The individuals are typically depicted as strangers and are not part of a loving relationship. Constant viewing of this type of sexual activity can lead the viewer to mentally lose the connection between sex and love. The result of this disconnection is that the viewer may not be able to receive satisfaction from intimate activities that involve a spouse. Viewing pornography may become more satisfying to the viewer than actually sharing a sexual relationship with the person that they are married to.

One study conducted in 1988 found that all of the participants involved in the study exhibited a loss of need for emotional involvement with a person with whom the participant had a sexual relationship. Participants in the study were both male and female.

Desensitization To Arousing Situations

Even if a person views porn and still wants to engage in healthy sexual activities with a spouse, it is common for the regular viewing of porn to lead to a desensitization to normal, healthy sexual encounters. This means that the viewer will have difficulty becoming aroused and engaging in sexual activities with a spouse.

Viewing porn may seem like a harmless activity that does not have an impact on the bond of a married couple, but the fact is that porn viewing can hurt a marriage beyond repair. Studies show that the negative links between marital problems and porn viewing are present whether the husband or the wife is the spouse that is viewing porn.

Getting help for porn addiction

Porn addiction is a serious but misunderstood disorder that is almost impossible to overcome without outside help. Friends, religious leaders, organizations and support groups exist to help addicts overcome their pornography addictions.

The anonymity and ease-of-access provided by the Internet have encouraged skyrocketing rates of pornography addiction. Approximately 25% of search engine searches are for porn sites and there are nearly half a billion adult websites to meet the demand. 10% of adults admit to having an online pornography addiction, but this rate is likely much higher as many people do not consider pornography a legitimate addiction.

According to Dr. Laura Berman, a sex therapist, “Sexual addiction is not considered a formal psychiatric diagnosis, but anyone who’s out there treating, you know, in the world of sex therapy or even treating couples is seeing this. It’s becoming a pandemic, in terms of the clinical experience of it, because couples are coming forward with this all the time.”

The effects of pornography on the brain have been deemed “toxic” and comparable to cocaine. Many sex therapists assert that pornography addicts tend to develop a tolerance to pornography and need increasingly more hard-core material to feel the same level of excitement that they used to get from soft-core pornography.

Brain scans have shown that repeated viewing of pornography literally rewires the brain. The natural release of serotonin and dopamine that occur during arousal and orgasm actually causes a mental bond with the images, damaging real-life relationships and preventing the addict from having normal intimate relationships.

In addition, pornography addiction often leads to maxed out credit cards, lack of sleep, neglected responsibilities and broken relationships.

You can learn more about the effects of pornography from organizations like Pornography Harms (http://pornharms.org/) and Fight the New Drug (http://fightthenewdrug.org/).

Overcoming pornography addiction may be as easy as installing a web filter and educating yourself about the effects of pornography addiction, but this is rarely the case. Overcoming serious pornography addiction often requires outside assistance from counselors, religious leaders or support groups.

Fortunately, there are many support groups are available. Sex Addicts Anonymous (http://saa-recovery.org/ ), Sexaholics Anonymous (http://www.sa.org/), Dirty Girl Ministries (http://dirtygirlsministries.com/) and Freedom from Porn Addiction (http://www.freedomfrompornaddiction.com/) offer online and offline support groups and resources to help people overcome pornography addiction.

Multiple faith-based groups, such as The Kings Men (http://thekingsmen.us/) and LDS Family Services (http://combatingpornography.com) offer support groups and assistance overcoming addiction as well.