Return-Path: <nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov> Received: from literacy (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.10.2/8.10.2) with SMTP id i8QH6W818166; Sun, 26 Sep 2004 13:06:33 -0400 (EDT) Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 13:06:33 -0400 (EDT) Message-Id: <13e701c4a3ea$6ddecfd0$6401a8c0@Dottie> Errors-To: listowner@literacy.nifl.gov Reply-To: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Originator: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Sender: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Precedence: bulk From: "Dottie" <dottie@shattuck.net> To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov> Subject: [NIFL-ESL:10478] Fw: Our English language X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2900.2180 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; Status: O Content-Length: 3593 Lines: 120 This might be fun for Advanced students! Dottie Shattuck Tri-District Adult Edu. York County, SC Subject: Our English language > Hey ya'll, I got this from a friend. This really explains why the English > language is so very hard to learn for floks. Enjoy! I had to smile at > one near the end. You'll know which one when ya read it! Cheryl > > You are a genius if you speak English > > THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE > > If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak > fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely > language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English > lovers. > > Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: > > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound > > 2) The farm was used to produce produce. > > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. > > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. > > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. > > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. > > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he though it was time to > present the present. > > 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. > > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. > > 10) I did not object to the object. > > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. > > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. > > 13) They were too close to the door to close it. > > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. > > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. > > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. > > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. > > 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. > > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. > > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. > > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? > > There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor > pine in pineapple. > > English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. > > Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are > meat. > > Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is > neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. > > And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't > groce and hammers don't ham? > > If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? > > One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? > > Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. > > If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of > them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? > > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? > > If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? > > In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? > > Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? > > Have noses that run and feet that smell? > > How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man > and a wise guy are opposites? > > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your > house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by > filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. > > English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the > creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. > > That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the > lights are out, they are invisible. > > P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"? > > >
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