The Wit and Wisdom of the Summary of Mishaps
(a.k.a. The Friday Funnies)

Traffic, Motorcycles, ATVs

Is there an inverse relationship between the strength of a motorcyclist's urge to wear a helmet and the weakness of the brain that the helmet is supposed to protect?

Remember--a speed limit sign isn't a guarantee, it's an estimate.

A word of advice for all you motorcyclists out there: get as much experience as you can. Just don’t take any crash courses.

The next time your buddy asks to borrow your motorcycle, tell them you value their friendship too much to risk it. If you are secretly thinking, "I value my motorcycle too much to let you demolish it," so much the better.

Next time you hit the highway, pull off the road when you start getting the smallest hint that you are tired. Don't let the car pull off by itself when you prove to it you are unconscious.

Remember, when you're facing an unfamiliar curve ahead, whether you are in a car, on a motorcycle, moped, scooter, ATV, or any other powered, wheeled vehicle known to mankind, and faced with a choice between going a little slower than you have to or a little faster than necessary, the decision isn't all that complicated.

When you’re about to ride over unfamiliar terrain, you always have a choice. You can familiarize yourself with vast amounts of the trail by examining it while traveling at a manageable speed. Or you can familiarize yourself with a small patch of it real fast, using your face and your hands.

If the sound of your personal vehicle shedding paint and broken glass while crumpling into a wad with you inside isn't the world's worst alarm clock, I'd like to know what is.

So, what's a seatbelt cost, anyway? Nothing, right? Comes with the car, and most people never consider the cost of the thing. But it's priceless, isn't it? Unless you can put a price tag on the value of human life, there's no way to determine what you'd pay for a buckled seatbelt one nanosecond after you simultaneously realize you need it, and discover you don't have it on. Probably, you'd give everything you have for one right about then, wouldn't you? But, you'd be too late right about then, wouldn't you?

Data prove that most self-taught motorcycle riders have a fool for a teacher.

If you're going to test-drive a motorcycle, make sure you don't also test the hardness of the helmet, the scuff-resistance of your pants, the response time of the nearest ambulance, and the blood supply of the local Red Cross.

The question isn't how good a driver you are, it is how lousy the other drivers are. Keep asking yourself: Is "probably" good enough?

The trouble with being reckless is that it tends to guarantee you won’t be wreckless.

Is the fact that everyone is usually following too close a good excuse for following too close?

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