Finding Direction
I am an Astrophysicist. I travel to telescopes around the world, make observations, develop and use computer models to analyze the data, and write papers and present talks about the results.
An average day for me is really an average night, when I am at the telescope. We begin observing around 6 p.m. (later if it is summer) and finish 12 hours later. After sleeping a few hours, we get up to look at the data collected the night before. This helps us plan the strategy for the observing schedule that night. After an observing run, we transport the data to our home computers and return to work there. In the office, I spend my time at the terminal making plots and using computer programs to analyze the data. I also spend a lot of time writing papers about the results.
Making new discoveries at the telescope is the most rewarding aspect of my job. Having the freedom to decide what to do and when to do it is also very nice.
I was always good at math and science, but only when I applied myself. I was not one of those students who could just glance at a problem and solve it. I had to work very hard, but when I did I made very good grades.
My older sister, who has a Ph.D. in statistics, was a great role model for me. A lot of other people tried to steer me away from science and math, but she consistently supported my interest. My mother wanted me to play the piano or become a flight attendant so that I could travel. I found a different way to fly!
The primary obstacle I had to overcome was the feeling that I wasn't smart enough to do this. It took me a long time to realize the guys around me sounded more confident because that is the way they are brought up to be. They never voiced their doubts about themselves, so I thought they didn't have any. Now I think we all had the same doubts, but I was more in touch my doubts.
I have two children, a girl and a boy, who I adore (born in 1987 and 1989). They keep me busy and young at heart. I can't imagine the world without them in it. I am the school astronomer at their schools (Project ASTRO sponsored by the Astronomical Society of the Pacific). I give talks and demonstrations to the fourth and fifth graders at the elementary school and I run an astronomy club at the middle school. I also write letters to the children who write to me with questions. We have something called the Astronomer's Mailbag that gets passed back and forth between my house and the school.
I am happily married to another astronomer, Dale Cruikshank. We write articles together and sometimes go observing together. He supports me at every turn and that makes a big difference. This is my third marriage, and I have no doubt that my demanding career took its toll on my other marriages. In this marriage we are true equals, and we have a great deal of respect for each other. We even have two asteroids named after us (mine is 7165 Pendleton), and although they were named after us for our different scientific accomplishments and at very different times, the asteroids are actually in quite similar orbits travelling around the solar system together. Kind of romantic, isn't it?
I am an avid reader of mystery books. I look for those with a strong female character. I read at least one book a week and plan to write my own mystery series someday. I am a scuba diver, but I haven't done much of that recently. I plan to get back to it someday. I love Marine Biology, especially anything related to sharks . I play on a U.S. Tennis Association tennis team through my tennis club. I also play the piano, which is a great stress reliever.
I didn't know how to become an astronomer. The way to do it is to study physics. I took every science course my high school offered (three years of chemistry and two of biology), but I was afraid of physics. I caught up later, but it would have been better to take the courses then.
I wish I had been reassured that you don't have to choose between being feminine and being a scientist. We don't need to become more like men to do this job well. We just need to understand each other better so that our differences don't hinder our progress.
Someone once asked me to complete this sentence, without thinking about it: "I am ________." I was 14 at the time and I immediately said "a very determined person." As the years went by I thought back on that and I realized had that not been true, I would have opted out long before I reaped the benefits of staying in the game. I love what I do and I am so glad I am doing it.
It is so important to have a supportive and positive role model around when you are in those formative years. My hope is for everyone to find their guiding light as they struggle through adolescence. For me, it was clearly my older sister. I find myself reminded of that fairly often. I wrote the following after such a reminder.
The other night I found myself in a conversation with a woman about my age. She was telling me her experience in 9th grade algebra. As she sat on one side of the class, where all the girls had congregated, the teacher walked down the middle row which was empty, dividing the class by sex. He selected an empty seat in this center row and faced the boys. With his back to the girls, he proceeded to explain why algebra would prove to be so important in the lives of these young men as they went on to become engineers, architects, and scientists. My new acquaintance went on to describe the complacency with which she and every other female in that class accepted the message. The boys were destined to become these things, the girls were not.
As I listened to my new found friend, I felt myself sitting in that same classroom. My own experience in 9th grade algebra had not been all that different. It was my experience outside the classroom that made all the difference, however. My friend had no one to tell her otherwise, and she accepted the message. Today she is very dissatisfied with her life, and I believe that is in large part because she was never encouraged to follow her dream of becoming an engineer. I had an older, highly motivated, over-achieving sister who would not hear of my settling for second best in anything. Today I am an astrophysicist, and I love what I do.
It was my sister who encouraged me, both gently and forcefully, to follow my dream. Without her, I would surely have heeded the other message society was broadcasting. I owe her so much. I owe her my life. My Ph.D. thesis dedication reads, " To my sister, Olga Pendleton, who encouraged me to reach the unreachable stars". Few days pass that I don't think of her and of the tremendously positive impact she made in my life. I'm trying to pass it on, by reaching out in the direction of young people around me. Life goes full circle. One of my protege's is my sister's son."
August 31, 1998 Sunnyvale, CA
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