**************** UNCLASSIFIED// ****************
Subject: SUMMARY OF MISHAPS
Originator: COMNAVSAFECEN NORFOLK VA(UC)
DTG: 061754Z Feb 09
Precedence: ROUTINE
DAC: General
To: AL ALSAFE(UC), ALSAFE
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UNCLASSIFIED//
ALSAFE 007/09
MSGID/GENADMIN/COMNAVSAFECEN/00/FEB//
SUBJ/SUMMARY OF MISHAPS//
GENTEXT/REMARKS/1. WELCOME TO THE LATEST EDITION OF THE 
FRIDAY FUNNIES. THIS TIME WE BRING YOU A SPECIAL NEWS 
ALERT. UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THE ENTIRE FLEET, FROM THE 
PUNIEST BARGE TO THE LARGEST DEEP-DRAFT, WILL BE TIED UP 
PIERSIDE, DUE TO A SERVICE-WIDE STRIKE CALLED LAST NIGHT BY 
THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF BULKHEADS.
A. "SIMPLY PUT, WE'RE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING PUNCHED FOR 
NO REASON," AN I.A.B. SPOKESMAN TOLD REPORTERS. THE LATEST 
INCIDENT WAS ABOARD AN LHA WHEN A SEAMAN RECRUIT PUNCHED A 
STEEL BULKHEAD IN THE BOSUN LOCKER AFTER LOSING SOME 
BELONGINGS THAT HE HAD LEFT ADRIFT.
   THIS WAS ONLY THE LATEST IN WHAT BULKHEADS SEE AS 
WIDESPREAD, ARBITRARY, AND UNPROVOKED VIOLENCE. ALTHOUGH 
THE PUNCH TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DO ANY DAMAGE TO THE STEEL 
BULKHEAD, THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING HAS LONG RANKLED 
BULKHEADS THROUGHOUT THE FLEET.
   "WE ARE RELIABLE, HARD-WORKING PARTS OF THE NAVY'S 
WARFARE PLATFORMS," THE I.A.B. SPOKESMAN SAID. "IF IT 
WASN'T FOR OUR MEMBERS, NO ONE WOULD HAVE ANY PRIVACY 
ABOARD SHIP, PLUS EVERY LEVEL WOULD COLLAPSE ON THE ONE 
BELOW. WE UNDERSTAND THAT THE NAVY'S GLOBAL COMMITMENTS IN 
THE WAR ON TERRORISM AND HUMANITARIAN EFFORTS ARE 
IMPORTANT, BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."
   MISHAP REPORTS ARE RIFE WITH SIMILAR INCIDENTS. A BM2 
WHO PUNCHED A BULKHEAD ON A DESTROYER MOORED IN NORFOLK. AN 
O-2 ON A SUBMARINE IN MAINE WHO PUNCHED A BULKHEAD IN THE 
BOW COMPARTMENT. A LANCE CORPORAL, UNDERWAY ON AN LHD, WHO 
PUNCHED A BULKHEAD BECAUSE, THE REPORT SAID, "HE WAS 
FRUSTRATED WITH HIS WORKING ENVIRONMENT."
B. THIS DRAMATIC WORK STOPPAGE BY THE BULKHEADS IS ALSO 
CAUSING CONCERN IN THE NAVY'S SHORE ESTABLISHMENT, WHERE 
TOP-LEVEL PLANNERS CONSIDERED THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE 
STRIKE SPREADING TO SEVERAL AFFILIATED LABOR ORGANIZATIONS, 
NOTABLY THE WORLD BROTHERHOOD OF WALLS AND PARTITIONS.
   THE W.B.W.P. WAS ALREADY UPSET BY SEVERAL RECENT 
INCIDENTS. A CONSTRUCTION MECHANIC SECOND CLASS LOST HIS 
TEMPER AT HOME AND TOOK IT OUT ON A WALL. A FIREMAN ON A 
FLOATING DRYDOCK IN SAN DIEGO PUNCHED A CEMENT WALL. 
ANOTHER SEABEE, AN E-4 EQUIPMENT OPERATOR IN AFRICA, 
PUNCHED A WALL AFTER GETTING SOME "DISTURBING NEWS FROM 
HOME," ALLOWING HIM TO SEND SOME DISTURBING NEWS OF HIS OWN 
TO THE FOLKS BACK HOME.
C. THE AMERICAN FEDERATION OF LOCKERS, WHICH HAS MEMBERS 
THROUGHOUT BOTH THE NAVY AND MARINE CORPS ESTABLISHMENT, 
SIGNALED ITS READINESS TO WALK OFF THE JOB, IN PART AS A 
SIGN OF SOLIDARITY AND ALSO IN RESPONSE TO TWO RECENT 
INCIDENTS WHERE SERVICE PERSONNEL SUCKER-PUNCHED 
UNSUSPECTING MEMBERS OF THE UNION.
   IN THE FIRST CASE, A LANCE CORPORAL FROM AN AVIATION 
SQUADRON IN NORTH CAROLINA PUNCHED A LOCKER. ELSEWHERE, AN 
HT3 STEAMING AROUND ON A CARRIER IN THE PACIFIC PUNCHED A 
LOCKER IN A BERTHING AREA AFTER A COUNSELING SESSION.
D. DISASTER PLANNERS HAVE ISSUED GENERAL ALERTS IN CASE 
THIS LABOR ACTION SPREADS TO PREVIOUSLY UNSUSPECTED AREAS, 
INCLUDING DOMESTIC FURNITURE (THANKS TO AN MM2 FROM A 
SUBMARINE WHO PUNCHED HIS COFFEE TABLE), AND BUILDING 
MATERIALS (THANKS TO A BM1 IN A PRECOM UNIT IN MISSISSIPPI 
WHO LOST HIS TEMPER BECAUSE OF HIS GIRLFRIEND'S CHILDREN 
AND PUNCHED A DECK).
2. UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, WE RECOMMEND OTHER STRESS-
REDUCTION TECHNIQUES, INCLUDING COUNTING TO TEN, DEEP 
BREATHING AND YOGA. FOR THE RECORD, THE INJURIES SUFFERED 
BY THE HUMANS IN THE ABOVE INCIDENTS INCLUDED SIX BROKEN 
HANDS AND REQUIRED 28 WEEKS OF LIGHT DUTY. IF YOU HAVE TO 
PUNCH SOMETHING, TRY A PILLOW OR A MATTRESS-THEIR LABOR 
AGREEMENT HAS A FREE-FOR-ALL PROVISION.//