Catherine Collins

I started college studying engineering but then switched over to math. Towards the middle of my junior year I discovered the planetary science department at my school. I took as many classes as I could and then decided to go to graduate school to study planetary atmospheric science. I got a master's degree in atmospheric physics and then came to work for the Galileo imaging team at JPL. After a couple of years I went back to graduate school (while still working here at JPL) and began working towards a masters degree in psychology. Last year I was asked to work on the plans for an imaging system (camera) for a proposed mission called Stardust. A few meetings later the team was talking about what to do with this area called "Opportunity." Everyone was suggesting ideas. The project manager turned to me and said, "Hey Catherine, you are good at this. Why don't you do our Opportunity and Outreach for us?" The rest is history. The past year and a half have been a whirlwind of learning, challenges, and personal opportunities.

There is no average day in my field. That is one of my favorite things about it. Some days I meet with journalists or television producers, I am in project meetings, I travel to give talks to teachers, or I sit at my computer and write all day; and some days (too many!) I do budgets, paperwork, and project business. Every day is different.

Everything about my job is exciting! Seriously, working on a NASA mission, meeting engaging people, having a hand in the exploration of space -- what could be more exciting? When I was working on the Galileo camera team, I had the opportunity to do the imaging sequence -- i.e., take the pictures -- of comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 crashing into Jupiter. Now, I see those pictures all over the place and I think to myself that I did that. For the next 100 years at least, these pictures will be around, in school books, in history books, and on the World Wide Web. Wow. These days I get to work on a team that hopes to unlock some of the secrets of comets and learn more about the origin and evolution of our world. Doesn't that sound exciting to you?

I was always good at math but average to above-average at science (I stank at chemistry). However, I liked to write and while in Junior Achievement I got into public speaking. When I was in high school my favorite subjects were foreign languages, math, and science. Instead of having study hall or giving up my science classes, I took extra languages -- Latin, French, and Spanish. In college, I took more Spanish and a semester of German. Right now, my husband and I are taking an evening French class! When it came time to start college, I did not think I wanted to study languages. The only jobs I could think of were translator for the United Nations and language instructor and I did not see myself doing either one. I was good at math and fairly good at physics so I decided to go into engineering because I thought I could make a good career and some money at it.

The funny thing is that now I really am a translator -- not from French to English or English to German but from science-speak to public-speak. I have ample occasions to write and translate and give talks. It's terrific. It has been a weird and twisted road to this point in my career but I have enjoyed it. At long last I have found a way to combine my interest in communication, math, and science! I wonder what I will be doing in another 10 years?

For a long time I was kind of oblivious to what other people thought, so in high school I did not feel pressured not to go into a math or science field. I know that my mother wanted me to be a writer but I don't think it was because it was girlish -- she just liked what I wrote. Then, during freshman orientation in college a professor was describing the difficulties of the engineering program. He spoke about the challenges and tribulations ahead of us and that some of us future engineers would make it and some of us would not. But all of us students would have to work very hard. Then he said something that shocked me to the core. He said, almost as an afterthought, "And you girls too." Stunned! I wracked my brains! Had he not said "future engineers" and "students"? I could not remember him addressing just the "boys". I asked myself, "When did 'engineer' and 'student' become masculine?" All through his speech I had assumed he was talking to me, to all of us students and future engineers. That was my first lesson that not everyone thought as I did; that the words student, engineer, doctor, pilot, editor, and manager were gender-nonspecific. That all of these professions and more were open to all people despite gender, race, religion, background, physical makeup, etc. This professor probably grew up in a time when mostly boys went into engineering and so in his mind it was a male field. Women today, including myself I hope, are helping to change this viewpoint. However, it is a slow process and requires patience that I sometimes lack.

I have had some outside obstacles in my career but nothing too extraordinary. I believe that obstacles primarily come from within -- as does the ability to overcome. A lot of times girls are taught not to be outspoken, that a woman should be apologetic and unobtrusive or is a (w)itch. It has been a challenge to me to overcome these feelings, to be secure in myself, and to do what as the poem the Desiderata says, to "speak [my] truth quietly and clearly." I finally know that I can be firm in my decisions, sure of myself and relay these feelings with kindness and without apology.

Another obstacle that I had to overcome was learning how to work hard for something. When I was younger, school came easily to me. Then I got older and the classes got more challenging. Since I still did well enough, A's and B's and one or two Cs, I never really had to apply myself. This seriously undermined my self confidence. Since I did not have to work hard I was not sure that I knew how. I did not know if I had the right stuff. The stuff is tenacity and has to do with the ability to hold firmly to a purpose despite obstacles. Until I actually applied myself, I could not really know if I had it in me to work hard despite obstacles. I did not truly learn that until my 20's and it held me back. Now that I know that I will persist despite all odds, I know that I can do anything that I set my mind to.

I was married earlier this year and we bought a house right after that. These days I spend most of my time with my husband and our four cats. When we are not fixing up our yard, I read, dance, play the piano, and study for my French class! Now that the weather is cooling off, I am looking forward to doing some more camping and hiking.

When I was 11-14, I would have liked to know that other people were having the same feelings of insecurity that I was having. It took until I was much older to find out that everyone -- from the most popular to the most shy -- has a difficult time growing up. Growing up is a constant challenge. You know that there is a lot you still have to learn. Every day you push, you grow, you drive yourself to go beyond where you are. I think if you do it right, you never stop growing -- but just like building muscles, it gets easier after a while. It is never completely easy, but you get used to the effort.

Another thing about getting older: I love it. I look forward to every day, wondering what will happen, what I will learn. When I turned 21 a friend of mine told me that she still felt like she was 5 years old and asked if that was how I felt. I responded that at 5 and 10 and 15, I wanted to be 21 -- except that I did not know how to be 21 at 5, 10, or 15. Of course at 21, I did not know what 31 would be like. Now that I am here, I love it! Don't ever be afraid of getting older -- it's a real trip!

I have a quotation hanging in front of me on my computer. I read it almost daily. It is something that I wish I had read and been able to understand a long time ago. It is from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are all powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just some of us, it's everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Archive of Chats with Catherine:

• 2-11-97 Web chat
• 10-22-96 Web chat