Our advice to correctors is, amongst other things;

The less the writer's text is changed around the better.
Focus on incorrect or ineffective use of vocabulary ("resides" in this
case).
Make corrections in the form of phrases (3-5 word) and have the learner save
them for review.
Encourage the learner to use shorter sentences.

Neither of these paragraphs is an example of clear and simple communication.

Steve Kaufmann
www.lingq.com
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