About Making a Difference in Everyday Ways
Helping with Everyday Activities
Sharing Your Experiences
Sharing What You Learn About Cancer
Working with Others in Your Own "Backyard"
Talking with Doctors, Nurses, and Other Health Care Providers

"When I was diagnosed 16 years ago, I was scared. I thought cancer was a death sentence. So I decided that if I survived, each day I would tell at least one person with cancer that fear is the enemy and education is the path to survival. I set up two support groups at a local hospital. There are a lot of myths that people believe but aren't true. I wanted to educate people so they can move from 'victim' to 'victor.' And I also did my own learning, keeping up with the latest news about breast cancer treatments.

All you need to help others is passion and caring. Even though people think you have to live in a big city like New York or Chicago, you can be in a small town and tell the people who live near you where to get the information they need. Even a short conversation can help save a person's life.

I've gotten back much more than I've given. I've met some of the most courageous and caring people in the world. Cancer has been a positive force in my life. It's given me a chance to make a difference in the world. It's not always easy, but I have the courage to keep on because I know that others need me."

—  Bobbi, breast and thyroid cancer survivor, 66

About Making a Difference in Everyday Ways

There are many ways you can make a difference in the lives of others. This chapter looks at how you can make a difference in everyday ways like helping someone with household chores, learning and teaching, sharing your experiences, or helping others through the health care system.

Helping with Everyday Activities

You can make a big difference by helping in small ways. This includes everyday activities such as chores and errands. For example, you can:

• Bring a meal, do an errand, or mow someone's lawn without being asked.
• Help people with their grocery shopping or household chores, or offer to baby-sit or take care of their pets.
• Drive people to their doctors' appointments. This can be a big help, especially when people have to travel a long distance.
• Arrange meals for someone who is sick. "We decided to help organize meals after our neighbor got five pans of lasagna in one day," said a friend of someone with colon cancer.
• Do small things for others that you would have liked people to do for you, like taking the kids out for a day or renting some videos.
• Let people know how they can learn more about cancer. For example, you can tell them about the National Cancer Institute or a local cancer organization. Many of these groups are listed at the back of this document. (See Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for more information.)

What if I find that I talk too much about myself? If you find that you are thinking and talking too much about yourself and not enough about others, you may not be ready to get involved right now. People need time to deal with their feelings and make sense of their cancer experience. You may want to get help for yourself and talk with a counselor about your feelings and concerns.

Sharing Your Experiences

—  Lahoma, bone cancer survivor, 55

If you are reading this document, you probably know a lot about cancer. Your experience can help others who are struggling. Here are some ways you can help:

• Offer to be a "buddy" to someone who is dealing with cancer. You can do this in person, by telephone, or even over the Internet.
• Tell others with your same diagnosis about the treatment choices you made and why you made the decisions you did.
• Help people get ready for their doctor's appointments by making lists of concerns they want to talk about.
• Talk to others about how you told your boss and coworkers that you have cancer.
• Ask how you can be helpful to the family and friends of someone who has cancer. Let them know that you care and are ready to listen, help and share ideas.
• Think about volunteering to be a "peer counselor" (someone who is trained to help others with the same type of experience or diagnosis). Some cancer organizations recommend, or even require, that people be out of treatment for at least a year before they volunteer as peer counselors.
• Get involved with, offer to co-lead, or start a cancer support group in your local area.

Sharing What You Learn About Cancer

—  Harold, husband of a 63-year-old breast cancer survivor

When you learn about cancer, you not only help yourself, but you can also can help others by sharing what you know. For example, you can learn about your rights as a person with cancer and teach this to others. Here are some ways to get started:

By phone

Many national cancer organizations have toll-free phone numbers you can call. They can answer your questions or send you books with more information. Sometimes cancer organizations even offer educational programs conducted over the telephone. See Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for groups to call.

In print

There is a lot of written information about cancer. This includes magazines, newspapers, booklets, and books. Some of these print materials are written for the general public, while others are more for health professionals and scientists. Visit your local library or hospital resource center, or ask your doctor or nurse about up-to-date materials that are written at a level you can understand.

Over the Internet

Many people search for cancer information on the Internet. For example, many organizations have Web sites you can go to for the latest information about cancer. You might want to subscribe to an organization's e-mail list and get messages when the site is updated. Some Web sites also offer listservs or chat rooms where people can meet each other on line. These are ways that people interested in cancer can exchange messages about their experiences, concerns, and resources. See Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for Internet sites. (To learn more about the Internet, see Using the Internet for Medical Advice.)

Going to meetings, workshops or classes

Many people help themselves as well as others by going to meetings, workshops, and classes. They can learn about clinical trials, a new approach to relaxation, or how to deal with other problems long after treatment is over. Ask your local hospital or cancer center about cancer-related programs they offer the general public. Often, you can attend these programs for free or at a low cost.

Working with Others in Your Own "Backyard"

• Bring cancer brochures to your workplace, school, or place of worship. You may be able to get brochures from cancer organizations such as the ones listed in the back of this document.
• Tell people about a cancer screening day, or help organize one.
• Organize a team for a cancer fundraising event, such as a walk or run in your community.
• Start a support group for people affected by cancer. There may be some people where you work or go to school who want to talk about their ideas, feelings, and experiences with cancer.
• Ask your employer, school, or place of worship to make a donation, sponsor a cancer-related event, or offer cancer screening tests.
• Write an article about cancer for your school or workplace newsletter or a local newspaper.
• Find ways to help make your workplace easier for people with cancer or other health problems.
• Help people understand their legal rights as cancer survivors (See Employment and Legal Rights for Cancer Survivors).

Ways Others Have Helped in Their Own "Backyards"

• Members of a cancer support group were trained to help at a local hospice. They gave comfort to patients during their last days and showed kindness to their friends and family members.
• Older, trusted members of one community reached out to their neighbors about cancer screening. Known as "lay health advisors," they encouraged other older adults to get screened for cancer.
• A hospital organized a "Patient Navigator Program" in which survivors helped people who had cancer but did not have health insurance. They worked together throughout the person's cancer treatment.
• Some groups have found ways to help others who share their faith, background, or culture. A group of African-American women with cancer organized a support group to deal with their unique needs. And a local church started a program to spread the message about the importance of early breast cancer detection.

What if people ask me questions that I can't answer? People will ask you questions about cancer, and sometimes you won't know the answer. It's okay to say, "I don't know," but let the person know that you will try to learn the answer. One way you can learn more is by contacting a cancer organization by phone, e-mail, or letter. (See Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for a list of cancer organizations.)

Talking with Doctors, Nurses, and Other Health Care Providers

• Let people know that they should talk with their doctor about all their concerns--even the little ones that do not seem important.
• Help patients and their families get ready for medical appointments. You can suggest that they:
  • Write a list of their questions and bring it with them when they see the doctor.
  • Bring a paper and pen to take notes about what the doctor says.
• Suggest that patients and their families invite someone to go with them to their appointments. This can be a family member, friend, or volunteer.
• Make sure that all health care providers treat everyone with respect. This includes respecting not only people with cancer, but also their families and loved ones. (See The Cancer Survivors' Bill of Rights for more information.)
• Volunteer at hospice programs, helping people through their last days.
• Join a Patient and Family Advisory Board. Hospitals and cancer centers often want survivors and their families to help them develop new programs. When you are on a Patient and Family Advisory Board, you may be asked to give advice on policies and programs and let the organization know how it can improve care for all patients.

Ways to Get Started-- Helping Others in Everyday Ways Once you decide that you want to make a difference in everyday ways, find out who needs your help and what you can do to get started. Here are some ideas about ways to begin:

• Let people know that you want to help others. Tell your family, neighbors, coworkers, and even your doctor that you want to get involved in cancer-related activities. Talk with them about things you like to do and ways you want to help. Ask for their ideas and suggestions. Make sure to let them know when and how you have decided to help.
• Find out about volunteer programs where you live. Check with your local hospital or cancer center, clubs, senior centers, and places of worship to see if they have programs to help people with cancer. If any of these groups have volunteer programs, ask how you can get involved. If there isn't a program nearby, think about starting one.
• Look in your local newspaper for volunteer opportunities. Many newspapers, libraries, and community centers have lists of organizations that need volunteers. You can also find the names and addresses of cancer-related organizations at the back of this document. (See Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for more information.)
• Get involved with a cancer organization. Contact a cancer-related group that interests you. Talk with the person in charge of volunteers about your interests and experiences. He or she might suggest that you get involved with a cancer support group, telephone hotline, or patient education program. (For more information, see Making a Difference with Cancer Organizations.)

After you have worked with others in everyday ways for a while, think about how you liked this experience. One way is to fill out Thinking About Your Choices: A Guide.

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