Living Each Day
Keeping Up With Your Daily Routine Working Thinking About the Future Summing Up: Living Each Day
When you have cancer, living each day to the fullest means:
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staying involved in the duties and pleasures of daily life
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returning to work if possible
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making plans for the future
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Is living with cancer the biggest challenge you have ever faced? For most
people, it is. Dealing with cancer and facing thoughts of death is a
life-changing event for most people.
"My cancer made me take a closer look at how I spend my days. Realizing that
they might be limited, I was determined to make them as good as possible. I
vowed to use my time in ways that were good for me or brought me pleasure."
Try to live each day as normally as you can. Enjoy the simple things you like to
do such as petting your cat or watching a sunset. Take pleasure in big events
such as a friend's wedding or your grandson's high school graduation.
Every season brings its own joy.
--Spanish proverb
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If you feel well enough, keep up with your daily routine. This includes going to
work, spending time with family and friends, taking part in hobbies, and even
going on trips.
At the same time, give yourself time to be with your feelings about cancer.
Also, be careful about acting cheerful when you are not. Avoiding your feelings
may make you feel worse, not better. (To learn more, go to
"Sharing Your Feelings About Cancer.")
Use these questions to think about how you want to spend your time.
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Who do I like to be with?
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Who makes me laugh?
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How do I want to spend my time?
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What makes me feel happy?
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What types of things do I enjoy the most?
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What types of things do I like the least?
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Is there something I want to do that I've never tried?
Fun
Sometimes people with cancer try new, fun things that they have never done
before. For instance, have you always wanted to ride in a hot air balloon or go
deep-sea fishing? What fun things have you always wanted to try, but have never
taken the time to do? A young woman with cancer put it this way,
"Too often we patients fill up our lives with meaningful activities and neglect
the frivolous outlets that keep us sane."
Try to do something just for fun, not because you have to do it. But be careful
not to tire yourself out. Some people get depressed when they are too tired.
Make sure to get enough rest so you feel strong and can enjoy these fun
activities.
The journey is the reward.
--Tao Proverb
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Physical Activities
Many people find they have more energy when they take part in physical
activities such as swimming, walking, yoga, and biking. They find that these
types of activities help them keep strong and make them feel good. A bit of
exercise everyday:
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improves your chances of feeling better
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keeps your muscles toned
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speeds your healing
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controls stress
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helps free your mind of bad thoughts
Even if you have never done physical activities before, you can start now.
Choose something you think you'd like to do, and get your doctor's okay to try
it. You can do some exercises even if you have to stay in bed.
Start slowly, doing an activity for just 5 or 10 minutes a day. When you feel
strong enough, you can slowly increase this time to 30 minutes or more. Let
your doctors and nurses know if you have pain when you do this activity.
People with cancer often want to get back to work. Their jobs not only give them
an income but also a sense of routine. Work helps people feel good about
themselves.
Before you go back to work, talk with your doctor as well as your boss. Make
sure you are well enough to do your job. You may need to work fewer hours or do
your job in a different way. Some people feel well enough to work while they
are having chemo or radiation treatment. Others need to wait until their
treatments are over.
Talking With Your Boss and Co-Workers
"I was nervous about going back to work. A big issue was what to tell my
supervisor and co-workers. I knew that they would be supportive, but I was
afraid that they would think I was no longer able to do as good a job as I used
to."
You might find that your boss and co-workers treat you differently than they did
before you had cancer. They may say nothing because they don't know what to say
and don't want to hurt your feelings. Or they may not know if you want to talk
about your cancer or would rather just focus on work.
If you can, use humor or make a joke. Humor can help break the ice and make
people feel more at ease. Let your boss and co-workers know if, and when, you
want to talk about your cancer. You may find that it is easier than you thought
it would be.
Your Legal Rights
Some people with cancer face roadblocks when they try to go back to work or get
a new job. Even those who had cancer many years ago may still have trouble.
Employers may not treat them fairly because they believe myths that aren't
true. They may believe cancer can be spread from person to person or people
with cancer take too many sick days. Some employers also think that people with
cancer are poor insurance risks.
It is against the law to discriminate against (treat unfairly) workers who have
disabilities such as cancer. These national laws protect your rights as a
worker:
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The Federal Rehabilitation Act of 1973
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The Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990
Most states also have laws that protect the rights of people with cancer. You
can take legal action (sue) if you think that you are not being hired for a job
because of your cancer. Here are some ways to learn more about your legal
rights:
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Talk with your social worker and ask about laws in your state. Your social
worker can also give you the name of the state agency that protects your rights
as an employee.
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Contact your state's Department of Labor or Office of Civil Rights.
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Contact your state Representative or Senator. You can find out who represents
your district and how to contact this person by looking on the Internet or at a
library.
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Visit the Web site for the National Cancer Institute's State Cancer Legislative
Database Program at http://www.scld-nci.net/
You may also want to learn about the benefits you can get as a person with
cancer. One is the Family and Medical Leave Act. This law allows most workers
to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid time to deal with certain family and medical
problems. To learn more, speak with the Human Resource office where you work.
You can also contact the U.S. Department of Labor at (202) 693-0066 or
http://www.dol.gov/.
Some people can't return to their jobs because of their cancer. For instance,
you may no longer be able to lift heavy boxes if that task is a part of your
job. If you can't do the work you did before, contact your state Rehabilitation
Program. Ask about training programs that teach you the skills you need for
other kinds of work. To learn more, look under the state government section in
the blue pages of your phone book.
You may find it helpful to look beyond your treatment and think about what you
want to do when you feel well again. Many people find it helpful to set goals.
Setting goals gives them something to think about and work toward. Goals can
also help people focus on what they want to achieve next week, next year, and
into the future. As one man with cancer said,
"I decided I would travel to Europe when my therapy was over. I used treatment
time to research the countries I wanted to visit and read first-person accounts
written by other travelers. I bought a new camera and figured out how to use
it. I even brushed up on my French!"
Goals can also help you get you through hard times. In fact, many cancer
patients have done much better than their doctor expected because they wanted
to go to a wedding or meet their new grandchild.
It is wise for people with cancer to "put their house in order." Think about
making a will and talk about end-of-life choices with your loved ones. You may
also want to put your photos into albums, write down your family history, and
sort through some of the things you own.
Putting your house in order is not the same as giving up. In fact, it is a way
that people with cancer can live each day to the fullest and think about the
future. These things make sense for everyone, sick or well.
If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow,
tomorrow comes.
--Senegalese Proverb
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Advance Directives
Advance directives are legal papers that allow you to decide ahead of time how
you want to be treated when you are dying. They help your loved ones and
doctors know what to do if, and when, you can't tell them yourself.
People with cancer face a lot of choices about the future. It's hard to talk
about the end of your life. But when you do, you can have peace of mind. You
will know you cared enough to make hard choices for yourself, instead of
leaving them for your loved ones and health care providers.
Advance directives include:
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A will to divide your money and things you own among your heirs
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A living will to let people know what kind of medical care you want if
you are close to death
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A durable power of attorney to appoint a person (a "health care proxy")
to make medical decisions for you when you can't make them yourself
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A trust to give your money or things you own to someone else
For more information, contact the Cancer Information Service at 1-800-4-CANCER
(1-800-422-6237), by TTY (for deaf and hard of hearing callers) at
1-800-332-8615, or through the Internet at http://www.cancer.gov.
Click on the "Need Help?" button to send a message.
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Once you finish treatment, you may expect life to return to the way it was
before cancer. In truth, it can take a while for life to settle down. This can
be a hard time. While you adjust to life after treatment, you may find it
helpful to read Facing
Forward: Life After Cancer Treatment.
Living with cancer means not only looking at death but also how to live the rest
of your life--whether it is long or short. Take care of daily duties and do
things that are fun. Both are needed for a full life.
Many people who have cancer feel that living each day to the fullest means:
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staying involved in the duties and pleasures of daily life
-
returning to work if possible
-
making plans for the future
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