|
What Your Brother or Sister May Be Feeling
Look at the World Through Your Brother's or Sister's Eyes
Just like everyone else, your brother or sister may be worried,
scared, or confused. They may also feel tired and sick because of
the treatment. Some kids feel embarrassed because treatment
has changed the way they look and feel. You both may be having
a lot of the same feelings.
Knowing how your brother or sister might be feeling could help
you figure out how to help, or at least understand where they are
coming from.
Here are a few things young people with cancer have felt:
| Afraid |
"It's
scary
to
learn
that
you
have
cancer.
Will
the
treatment
hurt?
Who
are
all
these
doctors
and
nurses
prodding
at
me
and
asking
me
questions?
I
don't
like
not
knowing
what
will
happen.
I
don't
like
not
knowing
if
I
will
get
better."
- Tamara,
age
13
Depending on how old
your brother or sister
is and how they react
to tough situations,
they may be more or
less afraid.
|
| Sad or Depressed |
"I
hate
it
that
I
can't
do
a
lot
of
the
things
I
used
to
do.
I
miss
hanging
out
with
my
friends.
I
never
thought
I
would
say
this,
but
I
even
miss
school.
A
lot
of
the
time
I
just
don't
want
to
talk
at
all,
and
when
I
do,
I
can't
be
cheerful
and
happy
all
the
time."
- Ryan,
age
15
People with cancer
sometimes can't do
things they used to do.
They may miss these
activities and their
friends. Feeling sad or
down can range from a
mild case of the blues
to depression, which
a doctor can treat.
|
| Angry |
"I
admit
it.
I
am
not
nice
a
lot
of
days.
I
feel
ticked
off.
People
get
on
my
nerves.
I'm
like - why
is
this
happening
to
me?
Some
days
I
just
feel
mad
about
everything."
- Jeremy,
age
16
Cancer and treatment
side effects can cause
your brother or sister
to be mad or grumpy.
Anger sometimes
comes from feelings
that are hard to show,
like being afraid,
being very sad, or feeling helpless. Chances are
your sibling is angry at the disease, not at you.
|
| Guilty |
"Everything
is
different
now
that
I
have
cancer.
It's
like
the
whole
family
just
stopped
doing
what
they
were
doing.
I
know
my
sisters
can't
be
happy
about
that.
They
have
to
do
all
the
chores.
My
older
sister
had
to
stop
cheerleading
so
she
could
take
care
of
my
little
sister
after
school.
I
feel
guilty
that
I
brought
this
on."
- Nicole,
age
14 Your brother or sister
may feel guilty that they
caused changes in your
family's life. But just as
you did not cause this
situation to happen,
neither did your
brother or sister.
|
| Hopeful |
"I
keep
the
faith.
I
put
up
a
huge
sign
in
the
living
room
that
says
'If
you
have
to
be
blue,
be
a
bright
blue.'
My
three
brothers
and
I
used
all
these
blue
colored
markers
and
we
decorated
it
with
glitter.
I
have
to
keep
believing
that
I
will
get
cured.
It
is
what
keeps
me
going."
- Julie,
age
16
There are many reasons
for your brother or sister
to feel hopeful. Most
kids survive cancer, and
treatments are getting
better all the time.
Hope can be an
important part of your
brother's or sister's
recovery.
|
All of these feelings
are normal for a person living with cancer.
You might want to share this list with your sibling.
Ask them how they are feeling.
Dear
Diary,
What
is
going
on?
Everything
is
changing
so
fast.
Six
months
ago
I
was
the
little
sister
ready
to
start
high
school.
Now
I
am
the
most
adult
one
in
the
family.
Since
Jill
got
sick,
Mom
is
a
mess - sad
and
stressed
all
the
time.
She
thinks
we
don't
see,
but
we
do.
All
our
time
is
spent
going
to
Jill's
doctor
visits.
Dad
works
day
and
night
and
all
Jill
does
is
lie
around
and
listen
to
music.
I
know
the
cancer
makes
her
mad,
but
does
she
have
to
shut
me
out?
Is
my
family
ever
going
to
get
back
to
normal
again?
- Beth,
entry
from
September
18th
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