What Your Parent May Be Feeling
"My
mom
lost
all
her
hair
after
chemo.
She
started
wearing
hats.
People
stared
at
us.
I
felt
really
bad
that
I
was
embarrassed
to
be
with
her.
Then
my
mom
just
came
out
and
asked
me
what
I
was
thinking.
When
I
told
her,
she
said
she
wasn't
crazy
about
the
new
bald
look
either,
but
that
she
was
glad
to
be
alive.
Now
I
see
my
mom
first
as
one
very
brave
woman.
I
don't
care
who
stares."
- Ming,
age
16
Knowing how your parent may be feeling could help you figure
out how to help, or at least understand where he or she is coming
from. You may be surprised to learn that they are feeling a lot of
the same things you are:
- Sad or depressed. People with cancer sometimes can't do
things they used to do. They may miss these activities and
their friends. Feeling sad or down can range from a mild case
of the blues to
depression, which a doctor can treat.
- Afraid. Your parent may be afraid of how cancer will change
his or her life and the lives of family members. He or she may
be scared about treatment. Your parent may even be scared
that he or she will die.
- Anxious. Your parent may be worried about a lot of things.
Your mom or dad may feel stressed about going to work or
paying the bills. Or he or she may be concerned about
looking different because of treatment. And your mom or
dad is probably very concerned about how you are doing. All
these worries may upset your parent.
- Angry. Cancer treatment and its side effects can be difficult
to go through. Anger sometimes comes from feelings that
are hard to show, such as fear or frustration. Chances are
your parent is angry at the disease, not at you.
- Lonely. People with cancer often feel lonely or distant from
others. They may find that their friends have a hard time
dealing with their cancer and may not visit. They may be too
sick to take part in activities they used to enjoy. They may feel
that no one understands what they're going through.
- Hopeful. There are many reasons for your parent to feel
hopeful. Millions of people who have had cancer are alive
today. People with cancer can lead active lives, even during
treatment. Your parent's chances of surviving cancer are
better today than ever before.
All these feelings are normal for people living with cancer.
You might want to share this
list with your mom or dad.
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