My Parents – How Do I Know If They Need Help?
As people age, their needs and abilities change. They may have trouble getting around the house or difficulty driving. They may not remember things as easily as they once did. And adult children of aging parents may notice that Mom or Dad is having difficulty – with their finances, perhaps, or with personal hygiene.
We all want to support our older loved ones' desire to live independently, even when we have concerns about their safety and well-being. But how do we know when it's time to step in? Start with an assessment.
An assessment is a full review of a person's mental, physical, environmental and financial condition to determine his or her ability to remain safely independent. It identifies risks and helps determine options to reduce them. It's very important to involve your parents in the discussion and decision-making about their options.
How Do I Help Them Know if They Need Help?
While it is possible for families to complete assessments on their own using standard check lists, there also are experienced professionals who can help. While check lists and professionals will vary somewhat, here are some basic areas you and your older family members may want to focus on:
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Physical Health. Have they been diagnosed with any
chronic diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure,
arthritis or emphysema? Or other diseases, such as bowel or
bladder problems, heart disease, stroke or cancer? Do they have
vision or hearing problems, excessive weight loss or gain, or
difficulty walking? Make a list of health professionals they
currently see. Add any recent hospitalizations.
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Mental Health. Have they been diagnosed with any
psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety or psychosis?
Have they been diagnosed with Alzheimer's or another form
of dementia? Are they showing signs of confusion,
disorientation or isolation? What about mood swings or
forgetfulness? Sadness or loneliness?
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Medication Use. What medications are they currently
taking? What is the dosage? How often? Include over the counter
medications. Are they taking their medication as
directed?
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Daily Living Skills. Are they able to dress, bathe, get
up from a chair, use a toilet, climb stairs, use the phone? Do
they know how to get help in an emergency? Can they shop,
prepare meals, do housework and yard work? Can they safely
drive?
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Home and Community Safety. How safe is their
neighborhood? Does their home have smoke alarms, and can they
hear them adequately? Can they avoid telephone and door-to-door
fraud? Can they maintain their house?
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Support Systems. Do your older loved ones have frequent
visitors or see friends? Do they go to a Senior Center, or get
out of the house for other social reasons? Do family members
live close by? Do they keep handy the names, addresses and
phone numbers of key friends and family members who they can
call in an emergency?
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Appearance and Hygiene. How is their overall appearance?
Hair clean? Teeth brushed? Shaved? Do they dress appropriately
in clean clothes?
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Finances. Can they live on their current income? Can
they meet future needs with their current income? Are there any
legal documents such as trusts, living wills, and/or durable
power of attorney? Do they pay bills on time and make informed
financial decisions?
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Interests/Lifestyles. Do they engage in their favorite
hobbies, read books, watch their favorite TV shows, exercise,
play a musical instrument, go to church, keep up with their
friends? Are they still engaged in the activities they have
always enjoyed?
There are good assessment tools and professional consultants who
can help you and your older loved ones decide when assistance is
needed. Some hospitals and clinics offer geriatric assessment
centers. Some city or county agencies on aging provide the
service. There are also independent geriatric care managers (also
called case managers).
An assessment can lead to solving problems and allowing a parent
to remain independent longer. It can result in fewer accidents
and illnesses, a longer life, and a higher quality of life.
It's not always easy to recognize when an older loved one
needs help. Learning how to assess their needs will make it
easier to know when, and how, to help.
AARP Resources
Taking Care of Our Parents
A series of articles from AARP The Magazine on caring for
parents.
Additional Resources
National Association of
Professional Geriatric Care Managers
Information on locating a geriatric care manager.
Benefits
CheckUp
Free online service from the National Council on the Aging to
help identify state and federal assistance programs.
Family Caregiver
Alliance
Offers information, education and support to families.
Books
These books are available at Barnes and Noble.
" Complete Eldercare Planner: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help," Joy Loverde, Crown Publishing Group, 2000
" Family Caregiver's Guide: Planning and Decision-Making for the Elderly," James A. Wilkinson, Fairview Press, 1999.
Find these books online at Barnes & Noble.com
" Complete Eldercare Planner: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help," Joy Loverde, Crown Publishing Group, 2000
" Family Caregiver's Guide: Planning and Decision-Making for the Elderly," James A. Wilkinson, Fairview Press, 1999.
