An excerpt from The Helper, ASHA's quarterly newsletter on herpes:
HELP Group profile: Richmond HELP
In this profile we feature a conversation with Mary Jones, MSW, coordinator of the Richmond, Virginia HELP Group. The group is co-sponsored by Richmond’s Fan Free Clinic (so named because an aerial view of the area shows streets that spread out like a “fan”), an agency that offers medical and social services to underserved populations.

The Helper: What led you to become involved with Richmond HELP?
Mary Jones: Upon leaving graduate school in ’89, I was hoping to find work as an AIDS service provider. I was drawn to the possibilities of working with loss and helping those discriminated against because of their diagnosis. As a volunteer in STD training at the Fan Free Clinic, I was suddenly handed a large box of Helper issues and asked to facilitate my first HELP meeting the following night! There was little I could do ‘cold turkey’ but invite the members to share their expertise. Our room resembled an over-sized closet with a single, dim bulb, and several sitting on the floor. THEY were the ones who offered me safety and a sense of security! I was totally mesmerized by their candor and sense of hope. I wanted them to invite me back because I had already decided this group would never lack for advocacy as long as I had a voice.

Helper: Describe a typical Richmond HELP meeting.
Our group convenes from 7-9 p.m. on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month. Thanks to community donation, Fan Free provides us with low lighting, a collection of comfortable sofas and chairs, and audio-visual access. Members provide popular refreshments. New members have already been told what to expect and are given information packets filled with ASHA and CDC materials on HSV and HPV, as well as relevant websites and local resources.

Our membership age has ranged from 17 to 62 years, and includes students, blue-collared to elite professions, expecting parents, significant others, and alternative life styles. Following our welcome and request for anonymity, each member gives a first name and diagnosis: HSV-1, HSV-2, HPV, or both. This gives members the opportunity to immediately ‘put a face with a virus’ and communicates the message, ‘you are not alone’. I have found it best to weave in educational updates, because new members are anxious to present their concerns. We anticipate that the ‘new’ may bring with them a sense of disappointment with former partners as well as medical providers. We are blessed with a core body of ‘graduates’ who attend, wanting to empathize, share, comfort, and offer their own expertise. As a facilitator, this is an excellent time to correct myth, present choices, and offer relevant scenarios that have unfolded over the past 15 years. I like to instill a sense of appreciation for where each member is in terms of his or her own self-redefinition healing process, which seldom lasts over a year. Our mission is to comfort you where you are, educate, and facilitate a wiser sense of self.

Helper: What would you tell someone who’s thinking of attending a meeting but isn’t quite sure?
This may occur with the newly diagnosed, those who have never shared their HSV diagnosis, or those who have recently separated from long-term partnerships. In fact, we offer many choices designed to promote a sense of safety and well-being. Initial phone connections may be lengthy or frequent and are designed to build rapport. We offer educational packets in plain manila envelopes, arrange for one-on-one encounters on site, or provide phone connections with seasoned, group volunteers. Mainly, people just want to know that we are ‘legit’, endorsed, and ensure anonymity. Only once in 15 years have members recognized one another, but soon embraced the concept that ‘we are all in the same boat’.

I would say to the hesitant that we would be honored by your attendance. Things will and DO get better. We trust your healing process and hope you will allow us to assist. In fact, we provide the ‘cocoon’ and the tools, then celebrate your transformation into a stronger, more vibrant, wiser and healthier YOU. After all, we have been privy to at least five successful ‘graduate’ marriages and several present engagements!