The Best Thing I Ever Did (Before I Got Married)

It’s rare, but occasionally you meet people you immediately ‘click’ with. I found two such friends my first year in graduate school. However, as graduation approached, we realized we were heading off in different directions. They were going to California and I was moving to Washington DC. We agreed that we needed to do something to stay in touch with each other.   

Our solution was the best thing I’d done in my life, up to that point. We formed a club. We called it the ‘ExCom’ from a school project involving President Kennedy’s use of an Executive Committee, or ‘ExCom’, during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

The three of us made a pact. We would pay monthly dues to the 'ExCom'. We must use those dues once a year to visit a National Park site together. It had to be a different site every year.  Dues started at $20 a month. About a year later we reunited on the hiking trails of Bandelier National Monument. We spent most of the time talking about girls.

Since then, dues have trebled, the hikes got longer (then shorter), and the conversations have evolved. Hot discussion topics such as weddings, job offers, mortgage rates, and day care have all come and gone. The word ‘retirement’ was recently uttered for the first time.

And something else has changed. A few years ago we amended our by-laws so that when our kids reach age 10 they are invited to join the club. So far, they have all done so. The original ‘three guys’ are now three Dads and four kids.

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This year we went to the Everglades. We paddled through spider-infested mangrove tunnels (see photos, and, yes, those are spiders), camped on ancient shell mounds, and witnessed thousands of Ibis start their morning commute.

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Over the past twenty years, I’ve shared some spectacular landscapes and wildlife with two great friends. Now my kids have the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors. To learn that hiking to a glacier in Montana beats sitting on a couch watching Hannah Montana.

They are also learning about relationships - that being a friend can mean making, and keeping, a long-term commitment. So far, I think they get it. On the way home from Florida one of my daughters turned to me and said, “I’m going to make sure the 'ExCom' goes on forever.” I think it just might.

Comments

[Tina Chen]

Are there any plans to expand the "ExCom" geographical range to also include international parks? I think this is a great traditional to pass down to your children!!!

[Marcus]

We've talked about that, especially in regard to Canada. I'm not sure we could afford going much further than that. But that may be a question for the kids to tackle when they are older.