I came across your web site and I wanted to share my story. I think it is important that people are aware that heterosexual women can and do contract HIV, even if they believe they are not at risk.

I was awoken one morning by the phone. I remember thinking, "If it is important, they will leave a message," and then falling back asleep. Later that day, I noticed the message light blinking on the phone. After a few ordinary messages, a woman from the South Texas Blood and Tissue Center (STBTC) left a message saying that it was very important that I return her phone call today.

I thought she might be trying to recruit me as a blood donor again, as I recently had donated blood. In fact, I had already received the letter in the mail, just as they had promised, informing me of my blood type and cholesterol and blood sugar levels. I had already done my duty for the year as far as blood donating was concerned so I didn’t return her call right away.

As I ran my errands that afternoon, the message played over and over again in my head. I began to have an unsettling feeling, and I was unsure why. As I hurriedly returned to my apartment, I could hardly wait to return her call.

The woman first asked me a few minor questions to confirm that she was speaking to the right person. After a short exchange, she requested that I come into their office to have my blood retested. When I asked the reason, she replied, “You failed the preliminary test for HIV."

I dropped the phone and began to sob. My then boyfriend, Lupe, ran over to me, took me into his arms and asked me what was wrong. He handed the phone back to me; however, I cannot recall a thing the woman said. The only thoughts running through my head were about Lupe. If I had contracted this horrible disease, had I passed it on to him? We had been dating for two years at that point, and he had been tested for STDs only the year before at a checkup. His HIV test was negative. But I had not been tested.

I called my brother, who is HIV positive. I didn't know where else to turn. He told me if I went back to the STBTC, that it could take as long as four weeks to get results back and I would have to pay for it. He directed me then to the San Antonio Aids Foundation (SAAF). He said they could get the results in days, and it would only cost me $20. Lupe and I arrived at the SAAF the next morning, as soon as the facility opened. A counselor quickly greeted us. The process was explained, and we were given paperwork to fill out. We each were assigned a separate number so that our names would not be used and the test results would be confidential.

The nurse who drew my blood could sense I was nervous and began making small talk. I realized that this was the first time I wasn't entirely sure where my future laid. I was about to start nursing school, and now I wasn't so sure this would happen. The nurse told me that he was HIV-positive, and he said nothing should stop me from pursuing my education. He said, "Even if your results come back positive, you will have an illness, you won't be dead."

I had a million things running through my head. I still had concerns about Lupe and whether he would be okay, if in fact my results were positive. I pondered about school. And most of all, I questioned how this could happen to me. I have an older brother who is HIV positive and had educated myself about HIV and AIDS. At that moment I realized that having all the tools and using all of the tools are two separate entities. I was quite wild just a few years earlier. My early twenties were spent out and about – lots of parties, lots of clubs, lots of new people, and I hate to admit it, but a few one night stands that were entered into unprotected. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I wasn't thinking, that was part of the problem. Just being young and dumb with no regards to anything, and I guess, no regard for my life and future.

We returned to the SAAF on Monday. A counselor met us at the front desk. He asked Lupe to come in first; I found that very strange, as I had gone in first to have my blood drawn and my number was first. I asked if I could come in and "confidentiality" was all that was said as the door closed. I suppose that was the first time that I realized that I was positive. I believe they called Lupe in first to inform him of his negative results so that when I came out with my positive results, he did not go into shock waiting for his answer.

Where do I go from here? I had no idea where to start or whom to turn to. I returned to my home in Del Rio at a completely different place in my life than the few days earlier when I left. I didn't even know where to start. I did not have health insurance. I had only moved to Del Rio the year before and was working at a small mom and pop owned restaurant that didn't offer benefits. How was I going to pay for a doctor or the medication? Where would I even find a doctor like that in such a small town? What if someone finds out about me? I picked up the phone book and located the local health department. I thought they may be able to help.

I learned that the local health department could not help me and that Del Rio doesn't really have community services such as those available in San Antonio. Del Rio doesn’t even have an infectious disease doctor. But the health department was able to refer me to services in another town, which provides counseling, case management, housing funds, transportation services, and medication assistance to HIV positive clients. I quickly phoned their office, and asked to speak to the man I was referred to, Gustavo. I was transferred to him without delay. Gustavo answered the phone with a jovial "Hello." I remember wondering why he was so happy as I told my sad story, once again. Gustavo immediately said, "We can help you. No problem. When can you come to meet with me?" I told him I would come as soon as he could see me. He was ready right then.

As we sat in front of Gustavo, he appeared to look puzzled. I guess I did not look like a typical HIV positive individual. I think I may have been his first female client. We talked for hours, and of course he was curious as to how I had contracted HIV. I have never used drugs, with a needle or otherwise, and had never been a “sex worker." I had, however, had unprotected sex. I also had multiple tattoos and body piercings, which I learned poses a very small risk of contracting the virus if the equipment is not sterile. Likely culprit: stupidity and alcohol leading to unprotected sex. Not a good combination.

I am living positive, as well as healthy and happy. I am 43 days away from being married to my soul mate, Clyde. We have a wonderful life, and I am also finishing my book and my education. Thanks for the opportunity to share my story.