For Family, Friends, and Caregivers

Have you ever thought...

“It’s hard to know what to do. When I try to talk to my friend about his drinking, he gets very upset and changes the subject.”

“I’m worried that my mother takes a lot of medicines and still drinks. But, I have no idea if her doctor knows this. How can I get her to talk to her doctor about her drinking?”

“Sometimes I think I shouldn’t say anything about my uncle’s drinking. Then something happens, like last week he fell and bruised his arm and face. I’ll bet he was drunk. How am I supposed to ignore that?”

You can’t force someone to get help, but here are steps you can take to help.

Step 1: Talk.

• Talk about your worries when the person is sober. Try to say what you think or feel, like “I am concerned about your drinking.”
• Give facts. Some people find it helpful just to get information. You could say, “I want to share some things I’ve learned about older adults and alcohol.”
• Try to stay away from labels like “alcoholic.”
• Ask to go to doctor visits with your family member.

Step 2: Offer your help.

• Suggest things to do that don’t include drinking.
• Encourage counseling or attending a group meeting. Offer to drive to and from these support meetings.
• Give your support during treatment.

Step 3: Take care of yourself.

• You need support, too. Think about what you need to stay safe and healthy.
• Involve other family members or friends so you are not in this alone. Talk honestly about how you are feeling. Try to say what support or help you need.
• Try going to counseling or special meetings that offer support to families and friends of people with drinking problems.
  
  There may be programs such as Al-Anon at your local hospital or clinic. Al-Anon is listed in the white pages of your local phone book, or call 1-888-425-2666 to find a meeting near you.

Remember—you can’t make a person deal with a drinking problem. You can offer support and get help for yourself.

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