 |
 |
 |
|
|
Anyone that knows anything about journalism knows how important it is to ask the right questions. Like a good detective working a case, a good journalist has to put everything else aside.
Journalists can't worry about their relationship to the story and should always ask the questions readers and the public truly want to know to the answers to.
More often than not these days, supposed "journalists" are working on fluff pieces that are nothing more than miniature ad campaigns for a person or company to promote itself.
If tough questions are asked, an actual answer rarely follows. Instead you'll hear five minutes with about two seconds of anything that has to do with the question.
Without the ability to be there in person to ask these questions, I've decided to hold an exit interview with a few "celebrities" who have recently appeared in the news or on a talk show.
But just as with any real interview, don't expect any real answers from these people. Instead, I'll just go ahead and provide that as well.
 |
Exit interview No. 1: Eric Devendorf following six-overtime win over UCONN
UB: Eric, do you remember a player named Teddy Dupay?
ED: No, I don't.
UB: I didn't think so. Have you ever heard the saying, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it?"
ED: No, can't say I have.
UB: I didn't think so. Well, can you do me a favor and say hello to him a couple months from now when your college career is over and you're also no longer relevant? I know you're busy talking trash and making an ass out of yourself against every opponent, but could you at least take the time to look up Teddy Dupay on WikiPedia?
Can't find it? That's right, that's because he doesn't even have one.
After being slammed with three first-degree felonies for aggravated kidnapping, rape and aggravated sexual assault, Dupay kind of disappeared.
Maybe now you see what I'm saying, and maybe now you'll cool out on the court and stop showing you haven't learned from your own ignorance.
And one more thing, don't ever wear Jordan's number again -- you'll never earn that right.
 |
Exit interview No. 2: Rush Limbaugh after saying he hopes President Obama fails
UB: Even though I couldn't care less about politics or political affiliations, I do know sports. Recently, you stated that as a Steelers fan, you rooted against Kurt Warner in the Super Bowl. You then equated that to you rooting against President Obama and rooting for his plans to fail. Are you too stupid to see that unlike the Super Bowl, where two teams face off, we're all on America's team in this case?
RL: Well, much like my popularity, nothing of what I say really makes sense. But I'm sure you're just like all those other Obama-lovers who rooted against President Bush and the war in Iraq.
UB: As a matter of fact, you ignorant, overweight douche, I'd never hope for the leader of my country to fail because that doesn't make sense. And I certainly never would have wished for failure in Iraq since one of my best friends was there for two years. So do you want to try again, or would you like to further admit to treason?
RL:: Actually, I'd like a cheeseburger and french fries.
UB: Yeah, I thought so. French fries.
 |
Exit interview No. 3: Sean Combs following "interview" on the Ellen show
UB: Hey, Diddy, great interview on Ellen. I'm sure her audience loved your appearance and how you talked about Twittering. You're so interesting, seriously. But I have a few questions.
SC: Thanks man, Ellen's my boy, so I figured I'd help out his show. What you wanna know, man?
UB: Well, after Ellen asked you why you would have Chris Brown and Rihanna reunite in your house, you said you didn't want to pass judgment or throw stones.
SC: Yeah, yeah, yeah ... yeah. Uh, huh ... yeah.
UB: But as someone who judges talent on television shows and has been in relationships of his own, why can't you judge Brown's actions? I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've been angry at your girl but decided against turning into Mike Tyson, right?
SC: Uh, huh ... yeah.
UB: So when did it become against the rules to call someone out? You and your Bad Boy crew used to do it all the time when Biggie was around. If Rihanna was Biggie's daughter, or even your own daughter, would you have acted the same way? I'm not sure, but it seems to me like you're just perpetuating the belief that it's all right to hit your woman because things like that aren't anyone else's business.
SC: I thought I told you that we won't stop; I thought I told you that we won't stop. Uh-huh, yeah.
