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As a divorced parent working in the area of special education, my major focus always had been on helping children with handicaps and learning disabilities. I had also volunteered to help deprived children from the inner city. After retiring and moving to Charlotte, N.C., however, I felt a void in my life.
I yearned to continue living a “life with purpose” and to reach out to other children to share my love and support. This longing to do more for children led me to become an AmeriCorps*VISTA member with the Amachi program.
Almost a year and a half has passed since I started as an AmeriCorps*VISTA volunteer with the Amachi Program at Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Charlotte. Amachi is a unique program in which people of faith mentor children of promise. Amachi is a Nigerian Ibo word that means “who knows but what God has brought us through this child.” The Amachi premise is that each child has the potential to become a productive person if given proper nurturing and opportunity. As an AmeriCorps*VISTA member, it is my job with Amachi to identify the children of incarcerated parents so that they may be matched with a mentor.
The Amachi staff at Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Charlotte has been working fervently to ensure that the children of incarcerated parents in Charlotte receive the kind of mentoring that will help them become productive members of society. According to statistics, an estimated 7.3 million children nationwide have one or both parents in prison. Without effective intervention, 70 percent of these children will likely follow their parents’ path. Through Amachi, dedicated volunteers from the faith community are mentoring more than 200 children in Charlotte. It is through the mentoring that the cycle of incarceration might be broken.
Many of these children are being reared by grandparents or great-grandparents because, in many instances, both parents are incarcerated. Trying to put the caregivers at ease when explaining the Amachi Program takes enormous effort.
An inordinate amount of my time is spent responding to comments, questions, and suspicions, such as: Who are you? Where did you get my name? What makes you think my child needs help from anyone other than myself? and Why do you think you can do a better job than I can? Many of the guardians are concerned about who will mentor their child and if the child will be safe.
On the other hand, there are those who are not interested at all and do not want to hear anything about the program and, furthermore, do not trust our intent. I have been told, “Don’t call back again.” Recruiting children for the program is very difficult when there are such suspicions and distrust about almost everyone. Nevertheless, I know that I can never loose faith if I want to ensure a successful program, so I don’t give up. Instead, I call another family that might be interested.
Many people are genuinely concerned for children of incarcerated parents. The grandparents and greatgrandparents seem to have the most interest, but they are usually so overwhelmed because, in many instances, they are taking care of two or more of their grandchildren and/or great-grandchildren.
In some cases, both the parents and grandparents are incarcerated. I try to identify with the greatgrandparents who are often afraid and have no idea how to relate to young children in their care. They limit the children’s activities to attending school and church for fear that something may happen to them anywhere else. They often tell me, “The children are embarrassed because they think I am too old and they don’t want anyone to know that they live with me.” In spite of all their difficulties, grandparents and great-grandparents care for them to the best of their ability while the parents are away.
What a shock it was to learn that it is not unusual for a teenage father who is in prison to meet his incarcerated father for the first time, and neither the teenage father nor his father had knowledge that either existed before this first encounter. Often times there are three generations of incarcerated fathers in the same prison and usually none of the fathers will have had any contact with his children before they met in prison. Prison is where they form father and son relationships. On the other hand, women who are incarcerated tend to take an interest in their children and stay in contact with the person caring for them. The women also have a great deal of input in raising their children.
One of my greatest satisfactions since working with Amachi came when I informed my minister about Amachi and how he embraced the program. My church has become one of the Amachi churches that provide mentors. In addition to providing volunteers from the congregation, he also became a mentor.
Being the supportive grandmother that I am, I can empathize with the complete sacrifice that has to be made in caring for young children. With each generation comes new challenges, attitudes, and reshaped values. My personal philosophy about children is that if given love, support, and proper nurturing, they can accomplish anything in life, regardless of their beginnings.
Friends and family often comment on my motivation and commitment to these children, and I hope that from their observations they, too, will become interested in some aspect of AmeriCorps*VISTA.
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