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Maggie

My first job: Whistleblower in Hotpants: http://www.plinky.com/links...
Am speaking at Mom 2.0 in February. My uterus has like 40,000 followers -- you should see those walls. Ba-dum-ching.
Off for a needle nap at the acupuncturist's office.
Cleaning out the closets, we've found 12 umbrellas. So far.
You're gonna take the last fudgesicle _and_ leave the box in the freezer as a decoy? Why not reseal it and fill it with rocks too?
I've posted a new answer on Plinky: "Plus, Fanta Posse Sounds Vaguely Erotic" http://www.plinky.com/links...
Is anyone else sweating champagne this morning?
Wishing I were part of a large crowd, dancing on a rooftop, slugging from an open bottle of champagne. Hey. What are you guys doing tonight?
Labcorp sounds like such an Orwellian place to have blood drawn. Like the government now has a photo of me and my DNA sequencing on file.
djordanferney Welcome home! Can't wait to see you guys skulking around the office.
Bonus points if either person in the photo is holding a balloon.
Portraits where the couple is standing three feet apart, holding hands, staring blankly at the camera are the new mustaches.
I'vereintroducedcaffieneintomysystemandmybrainfeelslikethis.
Watching the jasmine tea pearls unfurl in a cup of hot water. Feel like I should go build a rock garden or something.
Allergy tests came back negative. All of them. Am going to swim naked in a vat of coffee.
Remembering Argentine waiter balancing a tray in one hand, and twisting a bottle open with the crook of his knee. Feeling unaccomplished.
Lost luggage, theft, Bryan ill, house rental mixup, Hank's eye infection, stove/shower malfunction, sore throat for me. Up yours, "vacation"
Hang gliding rental place called Die Trying. Extreme truth in advertising,
Stealing Wifi from a mega luxury hotel. Sitting alone at poolside with hundreds of empty lounge chairs, thinking post apocalyptic thoughts.
Corona tastes like my early twenties.
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