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My first job: Whistleblower in Hotpants: http://www.plinky.com/links... |
Am speaking at Mom 2.0 in February. My uterus has like 40,000 followers -- you should see those walls. Ba-dum-ching. |
Off for a needle nap at the acupuncturist's office. |
Cleaning out the closets, we've found 12 umbrellas. So far. |
You're gonna take the last fudgesicle _and_ leave the box in the freezer as a decoy? Why not reseal it and fill it with rocks too? |
I've posted a new answer on Plinky: "Plus, Fanta Posse Sounds Vaguely Erotic" http://www.plinky.com/links... |
Is anyone else sweating champagne this morning? |
Wishing I were part of a large crowd, dancing on a rooftop, slugging from an open bottle of champagne. Hey. What are you guys doing tonight? |
Labcorp sounds like such an Orwellian place to have blood drawn. Like the government now has a photo of me and my DNA sequencing on file. |
djordanferney Welcome home! Can't wait to see you guys skulking around the office. |
Bonus points if either person in the photo is holding a balloon. |
Portraits where the couple is standing three feet apart, holding hands, staring blankly at the camera are the new mustaches. |
I'vereintroducedcaffieneintomysystemandmybrainfeelslikethis. |
Watching the jasmine tea pearls unfurl in a cup of hot water. Feel like I should go build a rock garden or something. |
Allergy tests came back negative. All of them. Am going to swim naked in a vat of coffee. |
Remembering Argentine waiter balancing a tray in one hand, and twisting a bottle open with the crook of his knee. Feeling unaccomplished. |
Lost luggage, theft, Bryan ill, house rental mixup, Hank's eye infection, stove/shower malfunction, sore throat for me. Up yours, "vacation" |
Hang gliding rental place called Die Trying. Extreme truth in advertising, |
Stealing Wifi from a mega luxury hotel. Sitting alone at poolside with hundreds of empty lounge chairs, thinking post apocalyptic thoughts. |
Corona tastes like my early twenties. |
