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The WTF Blanket: http://tinyurl.com/atflcy |
In this flattened Internet-based world, in which codes does one have hoes? |
When "simplistic" finally means "simple," Webster's will blame the bloggers. |
Retweets: You do the voodoo that I do so well. |
Retweets: Your joke is now a Von Neumann probe. |
Retweets: No good deed goes unpunished. |
Retweeting is so bad that I hope you ban all five of your followers from doing it. (LONG LIVE THE RETWEET) |
I played it safe at the lesbian free clinic, venturing only a "Good evening, ladies and germs!" |
@diannedeguzman My followers are my free publicity. Each of them is so badass they equal one thousand of anyone else's followers. |
HOW MANY MORE AUTHORS WILL GOOGLE HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU WAKE UP, SHEEPLE |
Things I've Actually Done #1: Before checking results from the city clinic, set iTunes to "mood music." |
@gruber I'm told they've already been introduced. |
John Updike passed away. Which makes me almost as sad as his books do. |
Ugh, bored. Past Me should have made a time capsule. |
For those confused by the updates from @molls, she's (seriously) walking around Hollywood (honestly) dressed as a (literal) giant vagina. |
No lie: iTunes Genius just graduated to Savant. It built me a playlist from "Men's Wearhouse: George Zimmer Guaranteed Booty Remix." |
@fakenickdouglas Hey, sorry Twitter took down your avatar. I own all of these photos so use what you want: http://tr.im/nickflip |
@TravelBug24 What, you thought you were an autonomous collective? |
Reasons I'm doing real work again: 1. More Twitter followers. 2. My Wikipedia entry still redirects to Valleywag. 3. Can't afford steak. |
Ugh, the Favrd Twitter account isn't linking to the site properly. Guess I'll have to type the whole--oh it autocompletes. Heh. |
