|
 |
REMARKS FOR
THE HONORABLE MARY PETERS
SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION
SANTA SLEIGH INSPECTION
WASHINGTON, D.C.
DECEMBER 20, 2006
10:30 AM
Good morning!
As you know, the holiday season is upon us, and I have some happy news for good little girls and boys across America. Santa Claus has been cleared for flight!
Every year, this jolly fellow sitting next to me travels from rooftop to rooftop delivering toys and goodies.
President Bush knows how important it is that those presents arrive on time, and he has asked me to do everything possible to make sure that Santa’s trip is safe and his flight path clear.
So we have made a list, and checked it twice. We know that old Kris Kringle here is an expert flyer. In a single night, December 24th, he logs more miles than most airline pilots do in a year.
And his elves have always done an absolutely wonderful job of keeping this sleigh in tip-top working order.
Now, it seems those innovative elves have souped up Santa’s sleigh with 21st Century technology. They have equipped the sleigh with GPS navigation to make sure Santa finds the homes of every last kid on his list, and route optimizer software will make sure he takes the most efficient path to get there.
New crash avoidance technology will complement Rudolph’s red nose and help the sleigh maneuver around chimneys and cell phone towers, even on the foggiest of Christmas Eves.
And here’s the big innovation – Santa’s gone green!
Oh, he is still donning his traditional red suit. But the sleigh you see here is a hybrid. It can fly using either the traditional eight tiny reindeer or modern hydrogen fuel cells.
In fact, these twinkling lights are running on hydrogen power right now.
Santa tells me the hydrogen sleigh is quieter, so he can make his deliveries without waking children and disturbing the visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads.
It is also cleaner. Those reindeer can put out a lot of methane gas as they go around the globe. But the only byproduct from hydrogen is water.
Like the folks in the North Pole, we are developing hydrogen as an energy source here in the United States. In fact, we are testing over 200 hydrogen cars and light-weight trucks already, and have 25 fuel cell buses in service.
But this is the first-ever hydrogen sleigh. So we have called in Inspector Bobo, who heads up the team of technology experts at the Research and Innovative Technology Administration.
Inspector, you have examined this sleigh. Does it check out?
Then Santa, if you will join me to sign the certificate.
Under the authority vested in me as Secretary of Transportation, and in accordance with the International Convention on Holiday Affairs, I hereby grant the following waivers:
For Santa to safely operate his prototype hydrogen sleigh within the United States and its territories;
For Santa to refuel at all H-2 energy stations in order to make on-time deliveries and spread holiday cheer; and
For Santa to enjoy free parking on the night before Christmas for the purpose of delivering presents to all good girls and boys whose names appear on this list.
Congratulations, Santa! Oh, and by the way, I have been very good.
# # #