| Everyone who writes to the NIH is entitled to a prompt,
courteous, honest response. A few general points you should
consider in composing correspondence follow: |
Be brief.
Avoid unnecessary words. Among the most frequently encountered
unnecessary words and phrases, with suggested improvements, follow: |
| Instead of ... |
Try ... |
| at the present
time |
now |
| first annual |
first (until a second annual has actually
happened, do not use annual to describe an event, publication,
etc.) |
| in order to |
to |
| in the event that |
if |
| no later than |
by |
| take steps to |
eliminate the phrase |
| as a result of |
because |
| for the purposes of |
to |
| I would like to |
just say what you would
like to say |
| certainly |
eliminate this and most other intensifying
modifers (like very) |
| prior to |
before |
|
|
Some other weak or trite phrases are agree to disagree, acid
test, all things considered, for the most
part, and just deserts. You might want
to try crossing out redundancies, weak or unnecessary
words, and trite phrases in the next three of four pieces
of correspondence you receive. (It is always much easier
to improve what someone else has written.) Prove to yourself
that the documents are now shorter and easier to read.
|
Use the active voice.
One way to avoid unnecessary words is to use the active
voice, which requires fewer words than the passive voice. In
the active voice, an actor (not necessarily a person) does something.
In the passive voice, something is done to a person or thing;
often the actor is not identified. |
| Active: |
I received your letter. |
Passive: |
Your letter has
been received. |
| |
|
|
|
| Active: |
Tom will prepare a report. |
Passive: |
A report will be prepared by Tom. |
Your writing will be clearer and stronger in the active
voice. Similar to the suggestion above, you might try changing
passive voice to active voice in correspondence you receive
to see how much shorter, clearer, and stronger the documents
become.
|
Avoid redundant phrases.
Some common redundant phrases are listed below.
|
| both...as well as |
—Choose one or the other. |
| in addition to...also |
—They mean the same thing. |
| and also |
—This is almost always a redundant
construction. |
| close scrutiny |
—By definition, all scrutiny is
close. |
| advance planning |
—You cannot plan after the fact. |
| major breakthrough |
—If the discovery is minor, it
is not a breakthrough. |
| new innovation |
—Innovations are always new. |
| invited guests |
—Uninvited guests are generally
called gatecrashers. |
| but nevertheless |
—One or the other is sufficient. |
| on the occasion when |
—Either on the occasion
of or when will suffice. When has
the advantage of being much shorter. |
| true fact |
—If it is not true, it is not
a fact. |
| eliminate altogether |
—If some remains, it has not been
eliminated. |
| fill to capacity |
—If something is filled, by definition,
its capacity has been reached. |
| strangle to death |
—Strangle means to kill by choking. |
| blue in color |
—Context should make it clear
whether you are talking about mood or color. |
|
Avoid referring to incoming correspondence as recent.
When
the incoming correspondence is less than a month old,
you may cite the date of the correspondence—except when
preparing a document for signature by the Secretary of
Health and Human
Services (see below). When an incoming document is more
than a month old, cite it by describing its content:
| "This is in response to your letter asking about
funding for research into alternative treatments for
hypertension." |
When preparing a document for signature by the Secretary of
Health and Human Services, never cite the date of the incoming
correspondence. Instead, always cite the incoming by describing
the content of the letter or memorandum, as shown in the example
above.
|
|
Do not add qualifiers to unqualifiable adjectives.
For
example, do not write that something is more unique than
something else. Things either are or are not unique. Similarly,
do not write of something being more perfect. The
Founding Fathers could create "a more perfect union," but
common sense tells us that something is perfect or it is
not.
|
|
Do not thank the writer of an abusive letter.
A writer
of an abusive letter is entitled to a response but does not
expect to be thanked. Even if you are upset, be courteous
as well as honest. Begin with a neutral approach, such as, I
have received your letter.
|
Do not encourage additional correspondence.
Do
not invite a follow-up letter by using phrases such as:
| Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. |
A preferred closing would be:
| I hope this information is of help. |
|
Do not write in another's name unless authorized.
Unless
it is true, do not say:
| The President [Secretary] has asked me to respond
to your letter. |
An opening
sentence that reads:
| I am responding to your letter to the President..., |
is
appropriate.
|
