Monologue | Aired Wednesday night on CBS: Cold, isn’t it, ladies and gentlemen? It was so cold today people were throwing shoes at Al Gore.
Osama bin Laden will not go away. There is a brand new bin Laden tape, and they’ve authenticated it. They know it’s a recent tape because bin Laden describes Salma Hayak as “smokin’ hot” on the Golden Globes.
One week, and Barack Obama will be the new President of the United States. I’m telling you, things are really starting to look bad for Hillary.
Today is the ninth anniversary of my quintuple bypass heart surgery, or as Dick Cheney calls it, “a routine checkup.”
President Bush is busy saying good-bye to everybody. Last night he was on Larry King, and I think tomorrow he’s making a farewell lasagna with Rachel Ray.
Bush is getting nostalgic. He says he’s not sure how he will feel on Jan. 21, but I think I kind of know how the rest of us will feel.
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The loss of George Bush will confound
Every pundit whose wit did abound,
Malaprops ev’ry day,
In his Ivy League way,
That bull-in-the-China-shop sound.
The Mission Accomplished codpiece,
— Larry EisenbergDisasters that never did cease,
‘Signing statements’ to dread,
Halliburton in bed,
And all at Dick Cheney’s caprice.
Osama bin Laden issued another audio tape and it’s quite recent — you can tell by the ay his voice is shivering on it!
What weather we’;re having, the icebergs are heading south!
Governor Sarah Palin is sure she now sees the North Pole from her house!
— Gil SternLarry, you have outdone even Yourself!
As befits a farewell?
Don’t forget Faulkner. “The past is not dead. It is not even past.”
— PercyVer