Holiday stress? (Lucian Read for The New York Times)If you’re still getting ready for the holidays, you’re about to run out of time. Hanukkah is already here (as of sundown on Sunday), Christmas is three days away and New Year’s Eve is around the corner.
A common theme this year seems to be a desire to scale back and simplify to save both money and time. One friend of mine made homemade truffles and granola as her main holiday gifts this year. Last year, I wrote about a set of friends in Wisconsin who have a fierce holiday competition to come up with the perfect homemade, low-cost gifts. This year they exchanged personalized (and hilarious) haikus.
For advice on taking the stress out of the holidays, I checked in with Marcia Ramsland, a San Diego personal organizer and writer of several organizing books, including the new book “Simplify Your Holidays: A Classic Christmas Planner to Use Year After Year” (Thomas Nelson, 2008). Ideally, your simplification efforts should start at the beginning of the holiday season, she said, but there are still ways to de-stress at the last minute. Here’s her advice.
Rethink your gift list. If you still have shopping to do, think about scaling back your gift list. “Focus on the people most important to you,” she said. “Work to make their holiday special instead of the people on the periphery like neighbors, the mailman or coworkers.”
Choose a theme for last-minute gifts. For those people left on your list, choose a single theme that will allow you to pick everything up at one store. For example, pick books, music or a DVD that you think someone will like. Ms. Ramsland offers a list of simple gift-giving themes on her Web site, such as hats and mittens, movie tickets or magazine subscriptions.
Wrap up some chocolate. Food gifts, homemade or purchased, are appreciated because they work for the whole household and don’t add to clutter. “Food is really good,” Ms. Ramsland said. “If you’re stuck, chocolate always works. You can buy chocolate or make fudge. It’s consumable and people enjoy it.”
Plan tomorrow the night before. It’s a simple concept but one many people forget to do. Writing grocery lists, pulling together recipes and making a plan the evening before is a huge timesaver the next day, Ms. Ramsland said.
E-mail holiday wishes. Holiday greeting cards can be a huge time burden. If it’s faster, don’t be embarrassed to e-mail your holiday cheer. “It’s acceptable now to send a holiday greeting by e-mail,” Ms. Ramsland said. “People will understand and appreciate it.”
Buy plastic containers to organize holiday decorations for next year. The best gift you can give yourself next year is to sort and store your holiday decorations this year, Ms. Ramsland said. Toss your cardboard boxes and invest in same-size plastic containers that are easy to stack, store and label.
For more advice on getting organized, check out Ms. Ramsland’s Web site, OrganizingPro.com.
For more on holiday gift-giving, check out “Are You a Grinch or Giver?” And for more holiday-themed posts, read about “When Shopping Puts the Happy in Your Holidays,” and “Talking to Your Kids About Santa.”
Healthy living doesn't happen at the doctor's office. The road to better health is paved with the small decisions we make every day. It's about the choices we make when we buy groceries, drive our cars and hang out with our kids. Join columnist Tara Parker-Pope as she sifts through medical research and expert opinions for practical advice to help readers take control of their health and live well every day. You can reach Ms. Parker-Pope at 
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From 1 to 25 of 38 Comments
Speaking of holiday haikus as gifts:
Thank you TPP
For countless tales of health news
To enrich our days
FROM TPP: This is the nicest comment ever! Thanks.
— ShanaMy favorite way to destress the holidays is to “Just Say NO”. No to holiday parties, no to gift exchanges, no to holiday cards. I just say YES to doing what I want to do during the holidays, which means long runs, going to the gym, taking naps, reading books and spending time with friends who don’t have children. HEAVEN!
And I second Shana’s delightful haiku!
— SharonI, too, completely agree with Shana’s haiku. I really enjoy this blog.
As for destressing, we cut way back on getting so many gifts for the kids this year and went for an annual pass to Disneyland instead, so we can use it many times. We also decided to send New Year’s cards, so that we weren’t stressing over them before Christmas. We still had our annual holiday party, because it is the only time we see many of our friends, but we made it very low key and mostly made sure all the kids had lots of fun. The other thing we did was take the kids to buy toys to give to Toys for Tots and have them help us decide on a charity to donate money to (the chose Feed Our Families from the Salvation Army). Last year was way too materialistic and we are trying to get our kids to want less and to give more.
— LisaThe holiday joy in our little nuclear family who live in three different area codes is that it’s usually the one time during the year when we’re all together. Mommy, daddy and their 2 lovely adult daughters with one boyfriend. That’s all I want or need.
— Doug HillSharon, I’m sure those with children appreciate that you do not come around as well.
Good tips overall. I’ve adopted a similar philosophy myself, and more so this year, just keeping things simple, yet festive. It can be done. Sort of exposes the unnecessary excess in times like these.
— ssWow–Haikus for the Holidays–fantastic!
I do Chanukah, not Christmas–so not much hassle there.
But….
I just have to share my Thanksgiving light bulb moment!!
Try it for your own holiday season if the situation applies.
My family all lives out-of-town, so when I celebrate holidays (like Thanksgiving), I’m hosting lots of sleep-over guests & cooking many meals.
I always took the tack of planning ahead–cooking everything ahead that I could–being semi-annoyed that my tidy house instantly had stuff strewn everywhere, as soon as the guests arrived–and I was more than a little resentful that I was doing all the work.
I’d wake up before everyone & start cooking to get a head start. Then I’d play hostess all day while everyone just relaxed.
Duh!!! Light bulb!! I was the one making those choices!! There was a better, more fun way.
This year all that changed!! It was fantastic!
I took a day off of work to food shop. Why add extra stress? I had everyone in charge of different dishes.
I didn’t make anything ahead. I didn’t over-clean. Why bother? I gave up caring how the house looked when 8 houseguests descended.
Thanksgiving morning my sister & I went for a 2 hour spinning marathon class while everyone else slept in & then made their own breakfasts from the lox, bagels, coffee, & juice I had stocked in the fridge.
We all cooked together during the day–cleaned up after ourselves–jointly spread out a lunch–watched movies–talked–laughed–played a game–listened to music–set the table–drank wine & beer–took naps–
And by 7:00 PM we’d put out a fantastic & relaxed Thanksgiving dinner together. It wouldn’t have mattered how late we ate. And then we cleaned up together!
Never again will I go back to old ways!
http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/
— The Healthy LibrarianTara, I agree with BOTH comments above!
— SarahI’m afraid I’ll be having Domino’s pizza for Christmas dinner this year - alone. I already did the travel and get together thing with the family during Thanksgiving week. My peace prevail in an otherwise uncertain world.
“It is odd to watch with what feverish ardor Americans pursue prosperity. Ever tormented by the shadowy suspicion that they may not have chosen the shortest route to get it. They cleave to the things of this world as if assured that they will never die, and yet rush to snatch any that comes within their reach as if they expected to stop living before they had relished them. Death steps in, in the end, and stops them before they have grown tired of this futile pursuit of that complete felicity which always escapes them.” ~Alexis de Tocqueville (from Democracy in America)
— Rev. DaveSuggestions:
— Jonathan Katz1. Don’t give gifts to anyone but your own children. That saves a lot of time, money and stress. Gifts to anyone else are only a waste; adults can provide for themselves whatever they need, and children have their own parents to do this. Instead, send letters or greeting cards to show you haven’t forgotten people important to you.
2. No decorating. You’ll just have to take it down afterwards. The spirit of the holidays comes from human feelings or religious faith, not from decorations.
3. No parties. They are only an occasion and excuse for excessive consumption of unhealthy foods and drink. Instead, make your family’s favorite foods, and enjoy them at a family dinner.
4. If you wake up with a hangover January 1 (or any other day) you have a drinking problem and need to quit. Alcohol is legal (for adults) but more harmful than any of the illegal drugs. Try coffee instead.
This is more of New Year’s haiku.
2009 goals
— A New MeUse TPP’s good advice
to eat less, walk more.
Great ideas, all. Love the quote, Rev. Dave. We’re doing lots of brownies, gifts to charities, and a few fun but mainly practical gifts for our kids. My favorite two moments of the season this year:
1. my nine year old telling me he likes Christmas Eve as much as Christmas day … he likes when we light a fire and all sit down and the dog is on my lap
2. my high schooler saying his favorite part of Christmas is our special holiday brownies
From the mouths of babes …
Peace on Earth…
— boomerBiggest help to destress the holidays for me is to buy any gifts I’m going to give waaaay in advance. Nothing gives me heartburn like a crowded store or a traffic jam exiting the mall. If I’m done shopping before Thanksgiving, I can spend the rest of my weekends putting up decorations (sorry Mr. Katz, I adore Christmas lights and ornaments!), baking cookies and getting out in the snow with my kids!
— annemy friends and I continue a custom I started doing in college: we celebrate Twelfth Night, rather than feeling everything has to be done on or before 12/25. We keep it simple: a quiet feast, no extravagance, no gifts. We all have enough stuff cluttering our houses. Just music, and firelight, and the company of a few people we like. That’s plenty.
— morwynWhat a delightful group of sensible, cost-conscious, practical, prudent…… Scrooges!
No Christmas here, Thank you!
— Todd PI have barely heard any Christmas music this year. Haven’t missed it at all.
Are we starting to get IT?
— Linda J@Shana in #1: you show real talent for that Eastern poetic form. And I agree with its sentiment, too.
Thanks, TPP for the best blog that I’ve actually seen and read regularly (as opposed to the other 8 million I haven’t even seen, and therefore, never have read). The Well blog is the gift that keeps on giving 24/7/365. Have good X-mas, too.
This list is from last year, but may help a few souls figure out what to give for the holidays. It is the Top Ten Redneck gifts list:
http://afrogtokiss.net/2007/12/15/top-10-redneck-christmas-gifts/
— Rob L, N Myrtle Beach SCMan, I see lots of poops on this message board. I love getting together with my family - I spent my first Christmas away from them last year, and even though my husband and I were in Paris together, we missed the big crowd and noisy house full of cousins. I love being out and about with crazy crowds (as long as I’m not driving). I love figuring out how to creatively and thoughtfully get or make presents on a grad student’s budget. I’m fired up about leaving California even though I’m heading into the -2 degree chill of Chicago. I love that I’ve had at least 3 social events each week for the past month - and I’ve gone to them all - even though I am usually a big crabby poop who just wants to go to work, to the gym, and home. I love being with my friends’ kids during this season, being able to give them a coloring book or t-shirt or even just a hug to celebrate together. I love Christmas and it doesn’t stress me out at all! Yay!
— sarahmasOh and this one’s for you, Tara:
I love this column
even though you do not like
my sport, cheerleading.
:)
FROM TPP — Very nice. Thank you. And so you know — I like cheerleading and even took my daughter to a competition when we were in Las Vegas. I just want it to be safe.
— sarahmasSharon, Jonathan, Todd, and Linda. What a bunch of curmudgeons! No music, no decorations, no parties, no children?
For me, the holidays are about being with family and carrying out traditions, which is one of the best ways to de-stress that I know. It doesn’t mean extravagant gifts or excessive indulgence in food or drink, but it certainly doesn’t mean ignoring the season.
— Beckysimplify your holidays, indeed. don’t read this article or the comments. (i didn’t.)
— KFThe most stressful thing about the holidays is the incessant, uncontested proclamation by the media that the holidays are stressful
If you allow it, such a proclamation can become a self-fuffilling prophecy.
— jackJack, Very true. I love this time of year, even if it is busy.
I love giving. I don’t have a big budget, but its still fun to pick out things my family likes.
I hope Sharon wasn’t saying the *no kids* part of Christmas was Heaven. If so,I am afraid Heaven will be a big disappointment ;) That’s the thing w/ the internet though, much gets lost in the typing…
— Elizabeth“Holiday season stress” is two-fold for those of us who experience some negative feeling owing to the heightened awareness of our non-Christian, minority status at this time of year. I focus on my appreciation that the earliest sunset has passed by the time of the winter solstice, and that another renewal cycle of nature is already beginning. I do participate in customs partially borrowed from the commercialized version of Christmas by (for example) giving cash–the very simple, traditional Chanukah gelt–to my adult children, books and puzzles to the young family members, and charming little “finds” from charity thrift stores and special, often hand-made, cards for others. And, of course, giving “chocolate coins” as tokens of appreciation always gets a smile.
— DavidI put up house lights at Halloween and leave them up… so they’re purple and orange. I get compliments on them at Christmas.
I mail order fruit for adult siblings.(they vetoed my idea of not giving gifts many years ago.)
This year I invited a teen’s friend over for the tree decorating. Family member behave better with an outsider present.
I used to feel holiday dread starting in September. I’ve been working on downsizing for years. It is better but it still manages to be pretty intense.
FROM TPP — I really shoudl think about the lights at Halloween. I didn’t have time to put mine up this year after Thanksgiving. But having lights for trick or treaters does make sense and why not enjoy them longer if you’re going to put in all that work.
— NickiI am paying my kid’s phone bill for her present. She also has three hots and a cot year-round. I gave to a soup kitchen. So easy this way! Of course, as Mom used to say, everyone can have the best present–a big kiss! (Yeah, we never bought it, either.)
— Star