Monologue | Aired Thursday night on CBS: Here’s how cold it is outside. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was selling seats in his hair.
President-elect Barack Obama plans to close Guantanamo, you know, the big holding center, the big prison, the interrogation center in Cuba. He is going to close that down. And Dick Cheney — I thought this was interesting — Dick Cheney said, “Oh, fine, sure, I’m going to buy it and turn it into a vacation home.”
Bush will leave January 20th. Yes. Will it never get here?
Cheney, meanwhile, said, “I’ll leave when I damn well feel like it.” But that’s another story.
But I want to tell you, it’s so cold. It’s so cold that Sarah Palin shot herself a brand-new coat.
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Why doesn’t all of Gaza apply for political asylum?
There can’t be too much violence in the world since every news program ends right on schedule?
— Gil SternB-Rod’s stuck with his new frozen hair,
— Larry EisenbergWith a look that is cool, debonair,
For haircuts an ice pick,
Is the most politic,
By a Hotel Ice Concessionaire.