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Talking to your parents about sex

Do you ever feel like talking to a parent about not having sex, but something’s holding you back? Maybe you’re too embarrassed? Guess what—they are too! But they do care and they do want to talk to you. Someone has to take the first step. Maybe that someone is you.

Here are some icebreakers for talking to your parents:

• Use one of your favorite TV shows, like “That’s So Raven” or “The OC” as a starting point.
• Start out with less awkward questions, like "What age did you start dating?" Then work your way up to the complicated ones, such as—"When did you and your friends first start talking about sex?"
• Ask about their teenage experience. What choices did they make when someone asked them to have sex?
• Use our web site to talk to your parents. Go through our Dating and Staying safe in Relationships sections with your parents. There’s lots of good information you both can share!

Once you’ve got the discussion going, ask:

• What’s great about marriage?
• What's great about a committed relationship?
• Abstinence seems kind of hard. How do I say no?
• How do I say no and keep my boyfriend?

Give it a try. Parents have so much to offer!

Remember, sex is deeply personal. Take the time to consciously choose what you want – few people regret having sex too late, but many regret getting into things too quickly. If you need more information or help, talk to someone who cares about you. Ask your parents, an older brother or sister, other family members, or an adult you feel will listen and give you good advice. Also, it is never too late to make healthy choices.

If you are already having sex, you can stop. Make the decision to start abstaining or being abstinent and stick to it. Below are several web sites you can visit for more information.

 4parents.gov
abstinence.net
teenpregnancy.org
kidshealth.org

= This article, publication, web site, or organization is from the U.S. government.

Content last updated June 18, 2008

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