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Healthy relationships

What makes a relationship healthy?

Healthy relationships are fun and make you feel good about yourself. You can have a healthy relationship with anyone in your life – family, friends, and the people you date. Relationships take time and care to make them healthy. The relationships you have as a teen are a special part of your life and will teach you good lessons about who you are.

Communication and sharing

The most important part of any healthy relationship is communication. Communication means that you are able to share things about yourself and your feelings, and you listen to what the other person shares. This can happen by talking, e-mailing, writing, or even using body language. When you are talking to someone, look him or her in the eye to show you are listening.

When you have healthy communication, you both feel at ease. You can share your feelings with the other person. You know that he or she will be there to listen, support you, and keep personal things that you share private. In healthy relationships, people do not lie.

Tamira is trying to tell Lisa what is on her mind, but Lisa keeps changing the TV channel. Lisa is not being a good listener.

Lisa is facing Tamira and looking her in the eye. Lisa is really listening to her friend.

Respect and trust

Fights still happen in healthy relationships, but you stay calm and talk about how you feel. Talking calmly helps you see the real reason you are not getting along. This makes it easier to figure out how to fix the problem. In healthy relationships, working through problems often makes the relationship stronger. People feel good about one another when they work through tough times rather than give up too easily.

Self-esteem

Feeling good about yourself – having good self-esteem – and knowing that you deserve a healthy relationship is also very important. Learn more about self-esteem in our Mind section.

How do I know that I have a healthy relationship with someone?

• You feel good about yourself when you are with that person.
• You think that both people work hard to treat the other person well.
• You feel safe around the other person.
• You like being with the other person.
• You feel that you can trust him or her with your secrets.

Keep in mind, it takes time and effort to build the trust and respect you need for a healthy relationship. Take this quiz if you are unsure if a friendship or dating relationship is healthy. You can learn more about unhealthy relationships in our safety section.

Content last updated June 26, 2008

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