Making a Difference in Everyday Ways
About Making a Difference in Everyday Ways Helping with Everyday Activities Sharing Your Experiences Sharing What You Learn About Cancer Working with Others in Your Own "Backyard" Talking with Doctors, Nurses, and Other Health Care Providers
"When I was diagnosed 16 years ago, I was scared. I thought cancer was a
death sentence. So I decided that if I survived, each day I would tell at least
one person with cancer that fear is the enemy and education is the path to
survival. I set up two support groups at a local hospital. There are a lot of
myths that people believe but aren't true. I wanted to educate people so they
can move from 'victim' to 'victor.' And I also did my own learning, keeping up
with the latest news about breast cancer treatments.
All you need to help others is passion and caring. Even though people think you
have to live in a big city like New York or Chicago, you can be in a small town
and tell the people who live near you where to get the information they need.
Even a short conversation can help save a person's life.
I've gotten back much more than I've given. I've met some of the most
courageous and caring people in the world. Cancer has been a positive force in
my life. It's given me a chance to make a difference in the world. It's not
always easy, but I have the courage to keep on because I know that others need
me."
Bobbi, breast and thyroid cancer survivor, 66
There are many ways you can make a difference in the lives of others. This
chapter looks at how you can make a difference in everyday ways like helping
someone with household chores, learning and teaching, sharing your experiences,
or helping others through the health care system.
You can make a big difference by helping in small ways. This includes everyday
activities such as chores and errands. For example, you can:
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Bring a meal, do an errand, or mow someone's lawn without being asked.
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Help people with their grocery shopping or household chores, or offer to
baby-sit or take care of their pets.
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Drive people to their doctors' appointments. This can be a big help, especially
when people have to travel a long distance.
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Arrange meals for someone who is sick. "We decided to help organize meals after
our neighbor got five pans of lasagna in one day," said a friend of someone
with colon cancer.
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Do small things for others that you would have liked people to do for you, like
taking the kids out for a day or renting some videos.
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Let people know how they can learn more about cancer. For example, you can tell
them about the National Cancer Institute or a local cancer organization. Many
of these groups are listed at the back of this document. (See
Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for more information.)
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What if I find that I talk too much about myself?
If you find that you are thinking and talking too much about yourself and not
enough about others, you may not be ready to get involved right now. People
need time to deal with their feelings and make sense of their cancer
experience. You may want to get help for yourself and talk with a counselor
about your feelings and concerns.
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"It took me 3 years to set up a local survivors' group in
my native community.
My support group started with two people in my home and
grew to ten. I think it is important to support people so that they can heal
and recover."
Lahoma, bone cancer survivor, 55
If you are reading this document, you probably know a lot about cancer. Your
experience can help others who are struggling. Here are some ways you can help:
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Offer to be a "buddy" to someone who is dealing with cancer. You can do this in
person, by telephone, or even over the Internet.
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Tell others with your same diagnosis about the treatment choices you made and
why you made the decisions you did.
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Help people get ready for their doctor's appointments by making lists of
concerns they want to talk about.
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Talk to others about how you told your boss and coworkers that you have cancer.
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Ask how you can be helpful to the family and friends of someone who has cancer.
Let them know that you care and are ready to listen, help and share ideas.
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Think about volunteering to be a "peer counselor" (someone who is trained to
help others with the same type of experience or diagnosis). Some cancer
organizations recommend, or even require, that people be out of treatment for
at least a year before they volunteer as peer counselors.
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Get involved with, offer to co-lead, or start a cancer support group in your
local area.
"There's a new study published every day. I want to keep up with the
information my wife needs."
Harold, husband of a 63-year-old breast cancer survivor
When you learn about cancer, you not only help yourself, but you can also can
help others by sharing what you know. For example, you can learn about your
rights as a person with cancer and teach this to others. Here are some ways to
get started:
By phone
Many national cancer organizations have toll-free phone numbers you can call.
They can answer your questions or send you books with more information.
Sometimes cancer organizations even offer educational programs conducted over
the telephone. See
Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for groups to call.
In print
There is a lot of written information about cancer. This includes magazines,
newspapers, booklets, and books. Some of these print materials are written for
the general public, while others are more for health professionals and
scientists. Visit your local library or hospital resource center, or ask your
doctor or nurse about up-to-date materials that are written at a level you can
understand.
Over the Internet
Many people search for cancer information on the Internet. For example, many
organizations have Web sites you can go to for the latest information about
cancer. You might want to subscribe to an organization's e-mail list and get
messages when the site is updated. Some Web sites also offer listservs or chat
rooms where people can meet each other on line. These are ways that people
interested in cancer can exchange messages about their experiences, concerns,
and resources. See
Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for Internet sites. (To
learn more about the Internet, see
Using the Internet for Medical Advice.)
Going to meetings, workshops or classes
Many people help themselves as well as others by going to meetings, workshops,
and classes. They can learn about clinical trials, a new approach to
relaxation, or how to deal with other problems long after treatment is over.
Ask your local hospital or cancer center about cancer-related programs they
offer the general public. Often, you can attend these programs for free or at a
low cost.
You don't have to travel a long distance to help others. In fact, there are
many ways you can make a difference in your own "backyard"--where you live,
work, go to school, or worship. You can talk with people about cancer and keep
them up to date with the latest facts and information. Tell them about your
experience with cancer and help them learn more. For example, you can:
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Bring cancer brochures to your workplace, school, or place of worship. You may
be able to get brochures from cancer organizations such as the ones listed in
the back of this document.
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Tell people about a cancer screening day, or help organize one.
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Organize a team for a cancer fundraising event, such as a walk or run in your
community.
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Start a support group for people affected by cancer. There may be some people
where you work or go to school who want to talk about their ideas, feelings,
and experiences with cancer.
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Ask your employer, school, or place of worship to make a donation, sponsor a
cancer-related event, or offer cancer screening tests.
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Write an article about cancer for your school or workplace newsletter or a
local newspaper.
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Find ways to help make your workplace easier for people with cancer or other
health problems.
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Help people understand their legal rights as cancer survivors (See
Employment and Legal Rights for Cancer Survivors).
Ways Others Have Helped in Their Own "Backyards"
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Members of a cancer support group were trained to help at a local hospice. They
gave comfort to patients during their last days and showed kindness to their
friends and family members.
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Older, trusted members of one community reached out to their neighbors about
cancer screening. Known as "lay health advisors," they encouraged other older
adults to get screened for cancer.
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A hospital organized a "Patient Navigator Program" in which survivors helped
people who had cancer but did not have health insurance. They worked together
throughout the person's cancer treatment.
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Some groups have found ways to help others who share their faith, background,
or culture. A group of African-American women with cancer organized a support
group to deal with their unique needs. And a local church started a program to
spread the message about the importance of early breast cancer detection.
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What if people ask me questions that I can't answer? People will
ask you questions about cancer, and sometimes you won't know the answer. It's
okay to say, "I don't know," but let the person know that you will try to learn
the answer. One way you can learn more is by contacting a cancer organization
by phone, e-mail, or letter. (See
Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for a list of cancer
organizations.)
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If you are a cancer survivor or are close to someone who has or has had cancer,
you know what it is like to talk with doctors, nurses, and other health care
providers. You may have learned how to speak up and ask questions--and you can
use your experience to help others. For example, you can:
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Let people know that they should talk with their doctor about all their
concerns--even the little ones that do not seem important.
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Help patients and their families get ready for medical appointments. You can
suggest that they:
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Write a list of their questions and bring it with them when they see the
doctor.
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Bring a paper and pen to take notes about what the doctor says.
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Suggest that patients and their families invite someone to go with them to
their appointments. This can be a family member, friend, or volunteer.
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Make sure that all health care providers treat everyone with respect. This
includes respecting not only people with cancer, but also their families and
loved ones. (See
The Cancer Survivors' Bill of Rights for more information.)
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Volunteer at hospice programs, helping people through their last days.
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Join a Patient and Family Advisory Board. Hospitals and cancer centers often
want survivors and their families to help them develop new programs. When you
are on a Patient and Family Advisory Board, you may be asked to give advice on
policies and programs and let the organization know how it can improve care for
all patients.
Keep in Mind
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If you offer to go to a doctor's appointment with someone, make sure you agree
on what he or she would like you to do. Ask the patient ahead of time if you
should:
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Stay in the waiting area or go into the exam room.
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Ask questions or help explain any words or terms the patient doesn't
understand.
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Bring paper and pen or a tape recorder to take notes. You can offer to take
notes about when to come back for an appointment or how to take a new
medication.
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Ways to Get Started-- Helping Others in Everyday Ways
Once you decide that you want to make a difference in everyday ways, find out
who needs your help and what you can do to get started. Here are some ideas
about ways to begin:
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Let people know that you want to help others. Tell your family,
neighbors, coworkers, and even your doctor that you want to get involved in
cancer-related activities. Talk with them about things you like to do and ways
you want to help. Ask for their ideas and suggestions. Make sure to let them
know when and how you have decided to help.
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Find out about volunteer programs where you live. Check with your local
hospital or cancer center, clubs, senior centers, and places of worship to see
if they have programs to help people with cancer. If any of these groups have
volunteer programs, ask how you can get involved. If there isn't a program
nearby, think about starting one.
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Look in your local newspaper for volunteer opportunities. Many
newspapers, libraries, and community centers have lists of organizations that
need volunteers. You can also find the names and addresses of cancer-related
organizations at the back of this document. (See
Organizations Where You Can "Make a Difference" for more information.)
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Get involved with a cancer organization. Contact a cancer-related group
that interests you. Talk with the person in charge of volunteers about your
interests and experiences. He or she might suggest that you get involved with a
cancer support group, telephone hotline, or patient education program. (For
more information, see
Making a Difference with Cancer Organizations.)
After you have worked with others in everyday ways for a while, think about how
you liked this experience. One way is to fill out
Thinking About Your Choices: A Guide.
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