DO:

Communicate Calmly: Use SOLER

• Sit squarely or stand using the L-stance
  (shoulder 90º to the other person’s shoulder).
• Open posture.
• Lean forward.
• Eye contact.
• Relax.

Communicate Warmth:

• Use a soft tone.
• Smile.
• Use open and welcoming gestures.
• Allow the person you are talking with to
  dictate the distance between you.

Establish a Relationship:

• Introduce yourself if they do not know you.
• Ask the person what they would like to be
  called.
• Do not shorten their name or use their fi rst
  name without their permission.
• With some cultures, it is important to always
  address the person as Mr. or Mrs.

Use Concrete Questions to Help the Person
Focus:

• Use closed-end questions.
• Explain why you are asking the question.

Come to an Agreement on Something:

• Establish a point of agreement that will help
  solidify your relationship and gain their trust.
• Active listening will help you fi nd a point
  of agreement.

Speak to the Person with Respect:

• Use words like please and thank you.
• Do not make global statements about the
  person’s character.
• Lavish praise is not believable.
• Use positive language.

If the Person Becomes Agitated, He or She
May—

Challenge or Question Authority:

• Answer the question calmly.
• Repeat your statement calmly.

Refuse to Follow Directions:

• Do not assert control. Let the person gain
  control of self.
• Remain professional.
• Restructure your request in another way.
• Give the person time to think of your request.

Lose Control and Become Verbally
Agitated:

• Reply calmly.
• State that you may need assistance to help
  them.

Become Threatening:

• If the person becomes threatening or
  intimidating and does not respond to your
  attempts to calm them, seek immediate
  assistance. ⁽²⁾

DO:

Promote Safety:

• Help people meet basic needs for food
  and shelter, and obtain emergency medical
  attention.
• Provide repeated, simple, and accurate
  information on how to get these basic needs.

Promote Calm:

• Listen to people who wish to share their
  stories and emotions, and remember that there
  is no right or wrong way to feel.
• Be friendly and compassionate even if people
  are being difficult.
• Offer accurate information about the disaster
  or trauma, and the relief efforts underway to
  help victims understand the situation.

Promote Connectedness:

• Help people contact friends and loved ones.
• Keep families together. Keep children with
  parents or other close relatives whenever
  possible.

Promote Self-Efficacy:

• Give practical suggestions that steer people
  toward helping themselves.
• Engage people in meeting their own needs.

Promote Help:

• Find out the types and locations of
  government and nongovernment services
  and direct people to those services that are
  available.

DO NOT:

• Force people to share their stories with you,
  especially very personal details.
  and shelter, and obtain emergency medical
  attention.
• Give simple reassurances like “everything will
  be OK” or “at least you survived.”
• Tell people what you think they should be
  feeling, thinking, or how they should have
  acted earlier.
• Tell people why you think they have suffered
  by alluding to personal behaviors or beliefs of
  victims.
• Make promises that may not be kept.
• Criticize existing services or relief activities in
  front of people in need of these services.⁽¹⁾