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| Child Support Law Is Unfairly Totally Against Men |
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 1:04PM
I dont know how everyone else feels, but there has to be some changes with the Child support laws. It is seen by men and woman that there is a problem with the way the current system works. First of all, they say there is a need for the man to step up with in familes and become better "dads" even if unwedded and not living with the other parent. Well thats totally contradicting, when courts immediately say as soon as the child is born the mother is the only one with full custody in which they say the father is basically considered just the sperm donator;hum? Well if the father is just a sperm donator, why is he subject to pay money each month for his wonderful donation; hum? When do you get charged for a donation? Off the back it leads a man to feel less responsible and active in the participation, becuase he has no rights, depending on whom the femal is and her backround ( meaning her way of being brought up) a man may have to go through a Honey Nut Cheerio hoop without breaking it just to see his child without any problems ;rather (verbally , physically, or financially). Not only do you have to pay child support, but you also have to pay the courts for rights (legitimation)' ridiculous! not only do you to take the dna test but you have to pay the courts to try and recieve equally spent time with the child (joint custody), ridiculous! After all the possible fees, on top of support paid, now wonder why men seem to not care. They do care but its expensive to prove to the stereotypical eye of the courts. Last I checked the count shows most woman makes more money than most men. How can men support the needs of her and the child, and try to get better themselves, Even a second make up job is charged. what happen to I pay what she would pay, Equally the same way the child was equally created. |
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 4:01PM
Child support is not only against men. They are against anyone who is the NON-custodial parent; it doesn't matter if you are male or female. They DO NOT care about your needs or if you can make a better life for yourself. Child Support is a very one-sided organization. Just send your money and keep your mouth shut is their attitude.
I feel that when there is a divorce, or even if a child is born out of wedlock that whoever has FULL custody of the child should also have the full responsibility that goes along with it, or at least the non-custodial parent should not have to pay such a ridiculously high amount of support.
My fiance's ex-bag is trying to get his support raised. Can you honestly tell me when a child has a mother, step-father and a job that child needs another $600 a month? I THINK NOT!!! Do kids today "need" to be wearing nothing but $60 a pair jeans, $90 Doc Marten shoes, going to tanning beds all the times, etc? I THINK NOT!!! Do they "need" $100 hair straighteners? Child support was designed for the NEEDS of children. When the child has the one parent, a step parent, and is working besides I dont think they need this other huge amount from the non-custodial parent. It's a joke. The entire child support system is a joke.
These people should have to prove what they spend that money on like they do in Montana. Also, if a custodial parent gets remarried the child support should end.
All these big amounts of child support does is give the custodial parent more money to waste or spend on their other children that do not even belong to the non-custodial parent; and I know it happens, my fiances' child tells me about it. The other thing the big dollars of paying support do is ruin the non-custodial parent financially in some cases. But Child Support does not care if you cannot survive as long as they get the money they demand. What gets me is that when a review comes along, the non-custodial parents entire financial wage statement goes to the custodial parent. What the hell business is it of theirs? Is anything private anymore? When a review is done the Child Support agency doesn't even give the non-custodial parent a worksheet to show their expenses and what it costs them to live. The reason for this is THEY DO NOT CARE!! How one-sided and cruel can they get?
The Child Support system needs a complete overhaul and it's time they start being a bit more fair, and make these money grubbing custodial parents take more responsibility for the kids as well, or give them to the custodial parent instead. I have NEVER spent $600/month on my two kids, so tell me why a woman needs that much for one child!!!!!
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 7:10PM
Child support is based on income. If you make more than the other parent, you will most likely end up paying support. However, it depends on how much more you make, and how often you have your child.
Yes, it is ridiculous to have to pay $600/month for one child. Here is the link to the ND Child Support Enforcement Agency. You can see all of the forms that need to be completed in order to determine support. These are a pain in the butt to complete, but it is required by the courts in ND unless you agree upon no child support before you go to court. But even then, the judge can still say one of the parents must pay support.
In a number of instances, the custodial parent is also receiving state assistance, because they cannot make it on their own. They are most likely receiving food stamps, rent assistance, heat assistance and welfare. These are all based on the income they are receiving.
There are a number of solutions to this ever-growing problem. One would be to just not have sex. That way, you are absolutely sure not to have children that you my have to pay support for. Another would be to not get divorced. But, don't stay together for the sake of the children. There is no reason why a child should be brought up in a miserable household. The only other option that I see fit, is to quit working all together and live off the State. Then you have no income that the State can withhold from you for support.
I know, I know. There are other situations that arise that affect the above. I am open-minded, having gone through this personally. I also have friends that have gone through it, and their ex's are money-grubbers. One goes after him every 3 years, just like clockwork, just like the state allows you to. (all references to state in this post refer to North Dakota)
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 9:13PM
Hey sorry to break it to ya buddy, but you should have been more careful then. She wakes up for the night feedings, she is there 24/7 raising your child, she deserves some credit where its due. If you knew what her background was then you had it coming to you. I think you should just be there for the child because it he/she didnt ask to be brought up in a bunch of termoil. I hope for your childs sake you will try to get a long with her and take on responsibility where its due. Who knows if she really is that bad of a person you will probably end up with the child one day, and rember no child is a mistake they only make your life better............ and make you grow up real quick. witch I think is a good thing, it makes some of the younger generations be a little bit more machure and act how they are supposed to, others they live on welfare for the rest of their live and cant tell their head from their a#$!!!!! kay well thats all I have to say besides that baby needs you......................................................................................................................................
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 9:33PM
One question I have is this.....WHY is it that people always say "Oh you need to be there for the kid and help out with feeding, etc.?" In most divorce cases the mother does not want the ex around at all and doesn't even want to see the ex again, BUT she is right there to suck him dry for money "for the kid" as they put it.
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Posted On: Sep 25 2007 9:49PM
me~Well said, I hope you support every shared parenting effort and stop the courts from supporting and favoring mothers who seem to deliberately go out of their way to make it difficult for daddies to be involved. Most dads I know of lucky to support themselves after a good jolly rogering by the courts and the ex. Yes it is all about the kids isn't it,
I wonder if you agree with the idea that any dad the mommy say's is the daddy will do, I believe there are about 4,000,000 dads in this country who are supporting kids they will never know, 800,000 who are supporting kids that aren't even theirs.
And always remeber there are at least 1,000,000 people employed by the Child Support Agency both directly and indirectly including the family courts. 60,000 of which are solely employed by the taxpayer to enforce child support. That is an awful lot of taxpayer dollars, if they spent one dollar of the profits on or for the benefit of children, instead of themselves and politics, our children would not be raised the way they are. It's a national disgrace.
http://www.kxnet.com/getForumPost.asp?ArticleId=68849&Start=0
http://www.eagleforum.org/topics/fathers/childsupport.pdf
www.supportthemovie.com
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Posted On: Sep 26 2007 8:47AM
Great comments, I really see that there are two sides of the situation as usual. On one side you have people who say, well child support isnt bad, just take care of the kids and pay. On the other side there is the point that ; child support isnt bad i love to support my child, but does it have to be so expensive to love and provide for the child. I bet 10 out of 10, the people who say the current child support law is fair, either are not paying child support and therefore doesnt really understand how much is actually being taken from your earnings, or is recieving child support and feel that there never is enough becuase money is something I dont think anyone would say ," okay thats enough," to. I really like the point that was brought up about fathers also take care of kids that arent there own, that is so true. I apologize for not responding to a womans side also, becuase yes there are woman to who pay child support and I agree the law; rather your male, female, dog, cat; needs to be revised quickly becuase the economy is getting no better. I have started a group and would like anyone intrested in the change of childsupprt law to reply to this, and please pass the information to anyone intrested. We will all find ways to communicate, and put the ball in our hands to make a change. See the problem is every doesnt like it, but dont want to put in the effort to really speak volume and make the change. With enough minds together and wil, i believe we the people can make this happen. Look forward to anyone who would like to be apart of this, once I see your reply and email address I will respond to you after, and we can together work to make the change.
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Posted On: Sep 26 2007 11:24AM
fathers are considered worthless and of no use to the court system... the x-wife usually just wants to go and FIND A LIVE IN BOYFRIEND to sleep with and to abuse her kids.....
it is very cruel and it will take a long long long time to change the courts, but those of you involved BEST START WORKING TO CHANGE THINGS....
be careful who you marry and have kids with... people don't usually change after marriage, a bum before marriage, a bum after marriage, man or woman, doesn't matter....... good luck
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Posted On: Sep 27 2007 4:46PM
i just wanted to write a couple things. first off this is my third time trying to post a comment. second off kids are very expensive. i just want you to know that im a single mother with two kids. daycare is very expensive, diapers are expensive so are all the necesities like clothes toothbrushes shampoo conditioner. Everything and I think that if you dont care about your childs appearance then go ahead and take their confidence with you!!! Just think sports are expensive and if you dont want your KIDS on DRUGS i would think you would pay and be happy that your money is going towards making your childs life better. if you dont want to pay child support sign your rights over. if you complain about taking care of your child and the expenses that go along with a child just sign the papers, because if your that held bent maybe your child deserves a better father that love them no matter how much they cost think about it. women go without everyday so their kid has what they need. i myself am one of those single mothers. think about it.
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Posted On: Sep 27 2007 7:48PM
Can any of you understand your own grammar? I am not surprised you are bashing women & crying "poor me" or calling his ex a "bag". Says alot about who & what kind of person you are. I am guessing that you also bash the mother in front of the children, and question the child on what is going on in the mother's home. No child should ever be put in the middle of adult situations, conversations or issues. Also, what difference does it make if the mother or father gets remarried? The non-custodial parent is still the parent and it is their child's right to receive support from them. So what if the remarried parent now makes more than the other parent. Their new spouse should not be held responsible financially and their combined income should not be held against the custodial parent. Regardless of what happens, child support is the child's right and if the custodial parent increases their lot in life than their ex should benefit by not having to pay support????? Why?????? I am a father who sought custody because she had other things she wanted to do & it was best for our children, but once my ex. grew up, I allowed her to have more visits than the court gave her because that is what is best for our boys. I have never said nor made negative comments about her to the children because that is not in their best interest. I receive child support from her, more now than in the beginning because she makes more than when we first separated and I don't owe anyone an explanation of how that money is spent. Anyone who has to ask or demands to know how the support is spent is an idiot and has no idea what it really costs to raise children. Also, is my time and energy not worth anything? Courts have been historically biased against women when it comes to contested custody. In approximately 75% of cases in which a man fights for custody, he wins. So, what this tells us is that if a woman has full custody, the father, in 25% of these instances did not seek custody. If any of you know anything about domestic violence, automatic joint custody is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea!!!! Look at the statistics, they don't lie. For those of you who posted that the courts are in favor of the mom, guess again. And for the stupid post of "women now make more than men". Where exactly are you getting your facts?
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Posted On: Sep 27 2007 9:59PM
this is why it is so important to try and make marriage work.... get to know each other before you "get married in a fever"......
I think most men pay too much, I know how much it costs to raise kids, but you can't just punish one parent....
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Posted On: Sep 28 2007 12:03AM
literate parent~One shot poster. Are you for real, what planet do you hail from.
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Posted On: Sep 28 2007 7:50AM
Great comment shoppe!!! I agree you can't just punish one parent but when it comes to child support they sure like to.
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Posted On: Sep 28 2007 8:06AM
I think literate parent is right on. I can't believe that people will sit there and say $600 a month for a child support is too much. It costs almost $500 a month for full time daycare! That does not include clothes, food and supplies. Not to mention medical.
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Posted On: Sep 28 2007 8:35AM
And to huh? No one would want their child to live half the time with their father if means they have to be exposed and put up with the like of you. YOU are the reason measure 3 didn't pass. And the men who work under the table for cash and dump the kids off at their moms so they can go out with girls like you.
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