Take a Stand Against Bullying

Along with the excitement of a new school year, some students and parents have concerns about bullying in the schools. Studies show most bullying happens at school or on the way to and from school.

The issue of bullying has received a great deal of media attention since the 1999 school shooting at Columbine. Bullying has long been considered part of growing up, but has emerged as an important issue that youth, parents, schools and communities have begun joining together to address. Research shows that bullying is common among children. It is often vicious and cruel and should be looked at as an early form of aggressive, violent behavior. By the age of twenty-four, 60 percent of bullies have criminal records as well as more arrests for drunken driving, domestic violence and child abuse.

Bullying research

Bullies try to control other children by using words or physical means. Bullying usually involves an imbalance of power or strength. Dr. Melissa Holt of the UNH Family Research Laboratory/Crimes Against Children Research Center, reports these interesting findings:

• Current estimates suggest that nearly 30 percent of American students are involved in bullying as a bully, victim or both bully and victim.
• Students more likely to be victimized by their peers include males, students who don’t "fit in," and those who are obese, in remedial education or have developmental disabilities.
• Victimization has been linked to depression, loneliness, low self esteem and school avoidance.
• Students who bully are more likely to have behavioral, emotional or learning problems, be male, be from homes that display indifference to their child or condone fighting back
• Most studies have documented that teachers report lower prevalence rates of bullying than students do. Special attention paid to the school environment, school staff behaviors and student skill development can result in a safer school.

According to the Maternal and Child Health Bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, bullies may be impulsive, easily frustrated, rebellious, and view violence in a positive way.

Bullying tends to start in the early school-age years. It escalates during elementary school and peaks during middle school. By late middle school or high school some bullies are involved in criminal behavior or may become involved with gangs. At this age bullies can become violent and/or antisocial. They are more likely to get into fights, vandalize, steal, drink alcohol, smoke, start skipping school or even drop out. They may start carrying a weapon. The Maternal and Child Health Bureau has educational materials on bullying.

Bullying involves both boys and girls

Both boys and girls engage in bullying. Verbal bullying, such as making threats, name calling, using sarcasm, and teasing tends to be the most common form of bullying in both genders. However, boys can be more physical; pushing, kicking and hitting. Girls can be more indirect, such as spreading rumors or leaving a child out of activities. Bullying can also occur via e-mail or instant messaging.

Both boys and girls become victims of bullies. While the most common form of bullying for both genders is verbal, boys report more often having been physically bullied. Girls are more likely to say they are the subject of rumor-spreading and sexual comments. Both boys and girls use social exclusion as a way to bully others. Bullies may also threaten not to be someone's friend if the friend refuses to do what they say. Boys are likely to be bullied by other boys. Both boys and girls bully girls.

Signs of bullying

Many warning signs may indicate your child is being bullied:

• Avoiding going to school
• Having grades drop
• Wanting to be dropped off or picked up at school more than usual
• Coming home with torn clothing, bruises or other signs of physical harm
• Complaining of having been "robbed" of money or other possessions
• Showing signs of fear, anxiety or depression
• Having trouble sleeping, frequent bad dreams
• Complaining frequently of headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments
• Having few, if any, friends with whom he or she spends time

Working to stop bullying

We can all work together to stem the incidence of bullying.

• Kids can ask for help and tell others when they are, or when they observe others, being bullied. If they feel safe, they can tell the bully directly to stop the behavior.
• Parents can learn more about dealing with bullying. They can talk with their children, teachers and counselors if they suspect their child is being bullied or is bullying others.
• Schools can develop an effective bullying prevention program and work to create an environment that encourages courteous and respectful treatment of one another. Bullying situations require close communication between school and parents.
• Communities can encourage partnerships among schools, youth groups, non-profit organizations, the spiritual community and law enforcement agencies to help youth and adults develop tolerance, mutual respect, and skills to deal with bullying situations. Bullying is a form of victimization, not conflict. Therefore, rather than mediating a bullying situation, it is important to send the clear message that bullying is inappropriate behavior that must stop immediately, and that no one deserves to be bullied.
• States can enact laws such as New Hampshire's RSA193-F:3 Pupil Safety and Violence Prevention. This law requires each school board to adopt a pupil safety and violence prevention policy which addresses pupil harassment. A 2004 amendment requires school districts to notify the parents or legal guardians of the district’s policies on bullying, and requires schools to report bullying incidents both by telephone and by a written report sent by mail to the parent or legal guardian of the pupils involved.

Charlotte W. Cross, UNH Cooperative Extension Professor/Specialist, 4H Youth Development.