(7/12/97 Baltimore AFRO-American Newspaper)
by Congressman Elijah E. Cummings
"I won’t call it love, but it feels good to have passion in my life. If there’s a battle, I hope my head always defers to my heart - in matters of the heart."-Tracy Chapman
On the Fourth of July, I went for a walk in a park close to my home. It is rare that my schedule allows me the opportunity to spend time alone enjoying the natural world around me. The park was full of children’s laughter, picnic baskets, and music. It was a beautiful, peaceful, and sunny day.
As I was walking, an obviously distressed woman approached me and asked if she could speak with me. I pulled a business card from my pocket and told her she could call me on Monday and I would be happy to talk with her -- but there was an urgency in her voice. While other people were celebrating the holiday, she was definitely not at peace.
The serenity of my morning was immediately swept away as she, through her tears and in a trembling voice, shared with me a horrifying story of fear, pain, and anguish.
When "Anne" first met her now ex-boyfriend, he had a good job, dressed well, and treated her like a queen. He always took her out to nice restaurants and showered her with compliments and gifts. More important to her than the material gifts he gave her was the quality time he enjoyed spending with her young son. During the course of their relationship she grew to love him very much, but it was not long before the relationship took a disturbing turn.
She claimed it began with occasional outbursts of anger. He would curse at her and raise his voice whenever he perceived she had done something wrong. Soon he turned to pushing her around and eventually beating her to maintain control over her actions. She said she had to flee for her life after he came to her workplace and threatened to kill her with a butcher’s knife.
She had him arrested but he was immediately released on a nominal bail. As a result of the trial, he was found guilty and placed on probation. Although the judge issued an order requiring that her ex-boyfriend stay away from her, he continued to harass Anne with phone calls, threats, and late night visits to her home. She finally decided to move out of state, leaving behind her son, her family, and her home. She returned to Baltimore to care for her son following an automobile accident.
As she relayed this story to me, she constantly looked over her shoulder. I could see that though he was no longer together, this man still had her in his grip, and Anne had become a prisoner of her own fears.
I committed to Anne that I would do everything in my power to help her regain control of her life. As she walked away from me, I thought about the words I have often shared with my daughter and other young women. You must teach people how to treat you. You cannot allow anyone to begin treating you badly, because they will most certainly continue to do so. In most instances it only gets worse.
Recently Afro-American Newspaper writer Ursula Battle wrote an outstanding and informative article on the disturbing rise of brutal deaths due to domestic violence in the city of Baltimore.
Jackie Jackson, 36, was allegedly shot by her ex-boyfriend while walking down the street with a friend on June 22. Monique Penn, 28, was allegedly murdered a few days later by her ex-boyfriend as she sat in her car just blocks from her home. Both had ended violent and abusive relationships with their alleged killers and falsely believed they were finally out of harms way.
Unfortunately, stories like these are becoming routine all over America. Domestic violence has been one of the dirty little secrets of our society. More women die in the United States each year from injuries resulting from beatings by their husbands and boyfriends than do by auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Despite increased public awareness about domestic abuse, it would appear that we still find it easier and more comfortable to turn our heads and close our eyes to the growing violence being perpetrated against women and children in this country.
We ignore the screams for help from our neighbors because we don’t want to get involved in private "matters of the heart." We have relatives who explain away bruises or broken bones by saying they simply walked into a door or accidentally fell down. This epidemic of violence has no color preference or class distinction.
Every 15 minutes, a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend in America. Every 21 days, a woman is killed by an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend in Maryland. Every year, more than 15,000 women file charges against men for domestic abuse in the city of Baltimore. The sad part about these statistics is that they are on the rise.
Shelters throughout our city are overflowing with women who are hiding from men who have beaten them physically, mentally, and spiritually. The Baltimore House of Ruth reports that they are having a difficult time finding adequate space to house the large number of women who are seeking refuge from abusive relationships.
Domestic violence does not only affect the man or woman directly involved in the situation. Many times these women are the principle care-givers for small children or an elderly parent. The entire family is often forced to deal with the death of an abused loved one. Women will uproot their families in fear of continued abuse or they become prisoners in their own homes. The cycle of dysfunction and intimidation takes control of every aspect of their lives and the lives of the people around them.
Professionals give many reasons for domestic violence. Often times men are intimidated by the success, beauty, or personalities of their girlfriends or spouses. They may feel insecure in their own ability to provide for their families or succeed in the workplace. Statistics also reveal that many men who abuse women grew up in homes where violence was common place. But ultimately, domestic violence comes down to a question of control -- the need to control others and the inability to maintain control of oneself.
Until America decides to move out of its comfort zone and deal seriously with the epidemic of domestic violence, the horror stories will continue to highlight our evening news and the pages of our newspapers. Our court system must punish abusers and mandate programs of intensive counseling for victims and perpetrators. The most difficult task we face is dismantling the stigma women often feel when they publicly reveal that they have been the victims of abuse.
The best way to accomplish that goal is to move from a mentality which would have us pity these women as victims and towards the idea of celebrating them as strong survivors.
The Fourth of July is a time to pause and celebrate our freedoms and the peace we enjoy in America. Jackie Jackson, Monique Penn, Anne, and thousands of women across this country do not enjoy peace of mind nor freedom from fear. Let none of us be a part of a conspiracy of silence. We must lift our voices in memory of the women who have died at the hands of the men they have loved, and in prayer and support for those who live in fear each day.
"I wish that I had the power to make these feelings stop. I lose all self control in matters of the heart." -Tracy Chapman
-The Honorable Elijah E. Cummings represents the 7th Congressional District of Maryland in the United States House of Representatives.