YFCS-2/3.2, New Sept 2000. Molly Gregg, Extension 4-H Program Specialist

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Wellness Education Project Building a Positive You! "Accepting Yourself"

	Protected Under 18 U.S.C. 707

One of the goals of the 4-H Wellness Education Project is to help you learn to accept yourself. The great thing about you is that YOU are YOU!

Circle five of the statements below that describe you.

I am happy	I am willing to learn new things	I am energetic	I work hard
I am a good listener	I am generous	I like my:	Eyes
I am thoughtful	I help my family		Legs
I like most people	I am patient		Hair
I respect myself for who I am	I am willing to try new things		Shoulders
I am kind to others	I am athletic		Face
I am respectful of others	I like to spend time alone	I have a good sense of humor
Other things I like about myself:
Write what you circled and the other things you like about yourself in your 4-H journal.

Complete the following sentences and record your responses in your 4-H journal. There is no hurry--take your time and think about it. You may want to complete one sentence a day for a week. You can also complete the sentences in any order. If you have a hard time completing an answer to number three, skip to number six.

1. One thing I do well physically is...

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2. One thing I like about my appearance...

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3. One thing I like about my personality is...

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4. One way I am helpful to others is...

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5. At school I am good at. or, At home I am good at...

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6. One other thing I like about myself is...

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7. Something else I like about myself is...

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When you have completed this activity, you will have identified characteristics about yourself that you value. People who feel good about themselves are enthusiastic about getting up in the morning, and they feel good about others. People with good self-esteem:

• Feel like there is a purpose in life
• Challenge themselves to improve
• Accept compliments graciously
• Are successfully and know it
• Smile at others first
• Accept criticisms without feeling devastated
• Know and feel good about themselves
• Understand that they are acceptable now at this moment just the way they are

Sometimes, we let what other people say tear down our self-esteem. Think of a time when someone made a negative comment about you and how it made you feel. In the next activity, your job is to replace all the negative comments italicized in the script of the play "I Am Lovable and Capable." Just cross out the negative comments and write positive one about them. As you change the negative comments, think about how remarks from others build up and tear down self-esteem.

Narrator: A fifth grade boy named Michael is still lying in bed five minutes after his alarm has rung. It's a school day. Suddenly, his mother calls:

Mother: Michael, you lazy-head, get out of bed and get down here before I send your father up there."

(Example: "Michael, sleepy head, get out of bed and get down here before I come up there and kiss you all over.")

Narrator: Michael falls back to sleep. Soon his father comes upstairs and shouts:

(Example: sings)

Father: "Michael, get up! Do I have to haul you out of bed just to get you up?

(Example: I want to spend time with you this morning eating breakfast.)

Narrator: Michael drags himself out of bed. He searches his dresser for clean socks then calls:

Michael: "Mom!I haven't got any clean socks."

Mother: "Michael that's your fault. Just wear yesterday's pair."

Narrator: Michael goes to brush his teeth. The bathroom door is locked. He bangs on the door and his sister yells:

Sister:"Get away from the door, sponge brain! I'll get done when I get done."

Narrator: Michael goes down to breakfast feeling pretty dirty. He's greeted by a bowl of cereal already fixed for him. Yuck, it's soggy! In a hurry to meet the school bus, Michael forgets his lunch. His mother says:

Mother: "Hey, Michael! Where are you going without your lunch? Get back Here!"

Narrator: Michael runs back for his lunch, but misses the school bus. Michael is late for school now. When he get there, he must get a pass from the principal.

Principal:"You blew it, Michael! I don't think you'll ever get your act together. You have to be on time or life's going to pass you by. Now, get to class!!"

Narrator: Michael finally makes it to class. The teacher is not happy.

Teacher: "Hey mister. Where is your pass? How come you are always screwing up?"

Narrator: The teacher hands Michael a graded test --68 percent.

Teacher: "Michael, you are going to fail if you don't get with the program."

Narrator: After classes that seem to last forever, Michael goes to lunch. He's very hungry because breakfast was such a waste. He decides on a bowl of soup to go with his sack lunch. On his way back to the table where his best friend is waiting, Michael slips on the cafeteria floor, spills his soup, and drops his tray. Everybody but his best friend is laughing. Relieved that there is at least one understanding person in the world, he sheepishly cleans up and goes back to their table. He has no more money to buy soup. His friend says:

Best Friend: "OOOHHH, MICHAEL! How could you? I'm so embarrassed!"

Narrator: During the final hour of school, Michael has PE. He's one of the last people chosen. Michael sits on the bench thinking about the awful day he has had. He wonders how it could get worse. His teacher spies him daydreaming and says:

PE Teacher: "Hey! Pay attention! If you want to play, you gotta stay tuned to the action."

Narrator: Michael's school day finally ends. When he get home, his mom is watching soap operas. Michael has no chance to watch his shows. He decides to look for a snack. He has not had a lot to eat today. Michael grabs a brownie. His mother sees him munching on his way through the living room.

Mother: "Hey, kid! Those are for dessert. Put'em back. Go do your homework! If you would study when you get home, you might learn something. You should do your work while it's fresh on your mind. Now, go!"

Narrator: As the day comes to a close, Michael climbs into bed, exhausted. His self-esteem is about as big as a dime.

If you have difficulty completing this activity, get your parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends, or teachers to help. Ask your parents to do this and ask them if doing the activity made them think of ways that they could be more positive when they communicate with other people, especially you. Remember that outside influences can affect self-esteem. People who feel good about themselves can ignore negative comments made by other people. Also remember when you make comments about other people, you are having an impact on that person's self-esteem.

• Write a play about a parent having a bad day. Underline the negative comments and have your parents add positive comments where negative comments have been made.
• Say something positive to the people in your life every day. Keep a record in your 4-H journal of the positive things you tell people.
• Every day, write something positive about yourself in your journal. Build up your own self-esteem. You are not bragging. Remember that your 4-H journal is for you and nobody else.
• If there are people in your life who make you mad or get on your nerves, discover something good about them.
• Smile at someone you do not know.
• When someone is having a really bad day, help that person by reminding him or her that not all days are bad. Try to get the person to smile.