Talking With Your Health Care Team
Tips for Meeting With Your Health
Care Team
"I told the doctor when I first met
him that I needed honesty from
him; otherwise, I didn't want to
work with him. So he promised me
he would be honest, and he was.
He said, 'You've got stage-4 lung
cancer. You have 3 months to
2 years if everything works well.'
I needed to know everything."
- Patrice
As your disease advances, it's still important to give feedback
to your doctor. That's the only way he or she can know what
is working for you. Many people have a treatment team of
health providers who work together to help them. This team
may include doctors, nurses,
oncology social workers,
dietitians,
and other
specialists.
They need to fully know
your desires during treatment and at the end of your life.
Let them know about any discomfort you have. You have a
right to live your remaining days with dignity and peace of
mind. So it's important to have a relationship and an
understanding with those who will be caring for you.
Here are just a few topics you may want to discuss with your
doctor or other members of your health care team:
- Pain or other symptoms. Be honest and open about
how you feel. Tell your doctor if you have pain and
where. Also tell him or her what you expect in the
way of pain relief. (See
Getting Help for Your Symptoms
for more about
pain and other symptoms.)
- Communication. Some people want to know details
about their care. Others prefer to know as little as
possible. Some patients want their family members to
make most of their decisions. What would you
prefer? Decide what you want to know, how much
you want to know, and when you've heard enough.
Choose what is most comfortable for you, then tell
your doctor and family members. Ask that they follow
through with your wishes.
- Family wishes. Some family members may have
trouble dealing with cancer. They don't want to know
how far the disease has advanced or how much time
doctors think you have. Find out from your family
members how much they want to know, and tell your
health care team their wishes. Do this as soon as
possible. It will help avoid conflicts or distress among
your loved ones. (See
Talking With the Special People
for more on talking
to your loved ones.)
Remember that only you and those closest to you can answer
many of these questions. Having answers to your questions
can help you know what to expect now and in the future.
"My doctor said, 'The cancer is spreading to your
lungs,' and from that moment on, I didn't hear a word
he said. He started talking about my options, but all I
saw were lips moving. I was in total shock."
- Tyrone
- Make a list of your questions before each
appointment.
- Bring a family member or trusted friend with you to
your medical visits. This person can help you
remember what the doctor or nurse said, and talk
with you about it after the visit.
- Ask all your questions. If you do not understand an
answer, keep asking until you do. There is no such
thing as a "stupid" question.
- Take notes. You can do this or you can ask a family
member or friend to take them for you. Or you can
ask if it's okay to use a tape recorder.
- Get a phone number of someone to call with followup
questions.
- Keep a file or notebook of all the papers and test
results that your doctor has given you. Take this with
you to your visits. Also keep records or a diary of all
your visits. List the drugs and tests you have taken.
- Keep a record of any upsetting symptoms or side
effects you have. Note when and where they occur.
Take this with you on your visits.
- Find out what to do in an emergency. This includes
whom to call, how to reach them, and where to go.
No One Knows the Future |
It's normal for people to want to know how long they will
have to live. It's also natural to want to prepare for what
lies ahead. You may want to prepare emotionally as well
as to make certain arrangements and plans.
But predicting how long someone will live is not exact.
Your doctor may be able to give you an estimate, but
keep in mind that it's a guess. Every patient is different.
Your doctor has to take into account your type of cancer,
treatment, past illnesses, and other factors.
Some patients live long past the time the doctor first
predicted. Others live a shorter time. Also, an infection
or other complication could happen and change things.
Your doctor may know your situation best, but even he or
she cannot know the answer for sure. And doctors don't
always feel comfortable trying to give you an answer.
In truth, none of us knows when we are going to die.
Unexpected events happen every day. The best we can
do is try to live fully and for today.
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