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Finding Support
Here Are Some Tips for Talking With Your Parents
Talking With a Counselor
Why Go to a Counselor?
Finding a Counselor
Joining a Support Group
"Before I went to a
support group I felt like
my sister's cancer was
just something that I had
to deal with on my own.
I thought it would be dumb
and depressing to talk
with others who were going
through the same thing as
me - but it's helped a lot!
I would tell other kids to
find a support group for
sure. Check out more than
one if you don't like the
first one you go to."
- Devon, age 15
Don't let being afraid
of the way you feel
keep you from talking
to your parents, a
counselor, or kids in a
support group.
For many people,
starting to talk is
difficult. Some teens
don't have good
relationships with their
parents. Others are too
embarrassed to talk about
personal things. It can
also just be hard to make
the time to talk, with all
that is going on. But you
and your parents really
can help each other.
| TiP: Don't be shy about asking for help. |
|
You may think: "I can solve all my own problems."
However, when faced with tough situations, both
teens and adults need support from others!
|
Prepare before you talk.
| Step 1 |
Step 2 |
| Think about what
you want to say and
about some solutions
to the problem. |
Think about how
your parents might react.
How will you
respond to them? |
Find a good time and place.
| Step 1 |
Step 2 |
| Find a private place,
whether it's your room
or the front steps. Or
maybe you can talk while
taking a walk or
shooting hoops. |
Ask your parents
if they have a
few minutes to talk. |
Take things slowly.
| Step 1 |
Step 2 |
| Don't expect to solve
everything right away.
Difficult problems
often don't have
simple solutions. |
Work together
to find a way through
these challenges.
Some conversations
will go better
than others. |
Keep it up.
| Step 1 |
Step 2 |
| Don't think you have to
have just one big
conversation.
Have lots of
small ones. |
Make time
to talk a little each day
if you can, even if it's
just for a
few minutes. |
Sometimes talking to friends and your parents is not enough.
When you are having a hard time, it can be helpful to talk to a
counselor. Friends Brice and Nick talk about what is happening in
Brice's home:
"It took a few visits, but then
I got to know and trust my
counselor. She really listened
to me and was like a coach
who helped me learn new skills
and see new ways of looking
at things. I grew a lot."
- Samantha, age 15
Remember - going to a
counselor means you have
the courage to recognize
that you're going through
a tough time and need
some help. Simply put:
talking to a counselor
can help you feel better.
Counselors are specially
trained to help you sort
out your feelings, gain new skills to deal with
what's going on, and find solutions that work for you. Teens
who've talked with a counselor say it helped to talk to someone
outside their circle
of friends and
family who didn't
take sides, who
they could trust.
Others say they
learned a lot
about themselves
and felt better
able to face
life's
challenges.
"I was having a really hard time dealing
with my sister's cancer. But I tried to be
'perfect' and pretend that everything was
okay. I didn't want to stress my parents
out even more. One day my aunt said it
might help to talk with a counselor - even
if it seemed like I had it all together.
I was nervous at first, but I went. The
counselor made me feel like I could tell her
anything - and I finally opened up about
how I was really feeling. It felt great to
just have someone focus on me and what
I was going through."
- Jen, age 16
There are many ways to find a counselor. Here are some
suggestions to get you started:
- Talk to your parents or someone else that you trust. Let them
know you would like help to get through this difficult time.
Tell them that you would like to talk to a counselor. Ask for
help making appointments and getting to visits. Sometimes
you can even bring a friend.
- Ask a nurse or social worker at the hospital if they can give
you the name of someone you can talk to.
- Ask your guidance counselor or school nurse if you can talk
to him or her.
A good outlet for
connecting with teens
that are going through
the same thing that you
are is a support group.
Some groups meet in
person; others meet
online. Some groups go
out and do activities
together. At first this
may not sound like
something you want to do. Other teens have thought the same
thing - until they went to a meeting. They were surprised that so
many other kids felt the same way they did and had advice that
really seems to work. Your parents or another trusted adult can
help you find a support group.
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