Finding balance and purpose
Every young woman's life has a purpose. To
understand what yours is and learn how to live it, you've got to know how to
balance all that life brings your way. Follow these steps, and you're on your
way to being a young woman on a mission:
Ready? Set? Go!
Learn about yourself, your
family, and your community
You might not ever think about it, but we all need
to take the time to learn about ourselves, our families, and our communities.
If you don't learn about yourself and where you come from, how can you be sure
you are working toward the right goals? One way to make sure you are on the
right track is through writing. Don't worry about complete sentences or
spelling. Just let your thoughts flow onto the paper. If you have a creative
style, add drawings and use colorful pens!
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- I am happiest when…
- I am proud of myself
because…
- I was born to…
- In my dreams, I…
- I believe in my abilities to do great
things because…
- I'm proud of my family or community
because…
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Develop a purpose statement
that is based on your personal values
Do you ask yourself, "Why am I here? Who am I?
What is my purpose in life?" These are good questions to ask. The meaning and
purpose of life is unique for every young woman.
A purpose statement describes how you want to live
your life. You can update your purpose statement as your goals change.
Here are two examples:
- I will be the best me I can be. I will work
hard in school, enjoy my friends, take care of myself, and enjoy the little
things in life every day.
- I will love life by taking pleasure in the
small things, loving my family and friends, and accepting my responsibilities.
I will welcome each day with a smile.
 Latisha's
story: "My English teacher had us do a class exercise where everyone
wrote down something they wanted to do in life, and some small steps for how to
get there. I've always wanted to be a pilot, but I never really thought I could
do it. I wrote down some small steps like talking to a pilot about it the next
time I fly or going to the library to learn about what's involved. It seems
more possible now."
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Set goals
Every young woman has things she wants to do. She
may have goals for the future such as going to college someday or getting ready
for the job she would like to have. She may have goals for right now like doing
well on a test. Setting and reaching your goals helps you feel good about
yourself. Try to focus on a few goals at a time. Remember, once you have
completed one goal, you can start on another!
You can use the following steps to set any
goal:
- Write down your goal: Write
your goals in a positive way. For instance, write, "Learn to play the piano
better," instead of, "Don't make mistakes while playing the piano." Keep your
goal somewhere you can see it often to help you focus.
- Set a deadline for achieving the
goal: Write down the dates, times, and amounts so that you can see how
well you are doing.
- Know your obstacles: List
things that might stop you from reaching your goal.
- Identify who can help: Write
down who can help you reach your goal.
- Identify what you need to
know: List the skills you need to reach your goal.
- Create an action plan: Make a
plan for learning the skills you need to reach your goal.
- Know the reason: Write down
the benefits of achieving your goal.
Make sure your goals are realistic! If your goal
is to get more sleep, don't try to go to bed an hour earlier right away.
Instead set smaller goals of going to bed 5 or 10 minutes earlier each night.
In other words, take small steps, and keep on taking them every day.
Celebrating your small goals along the way will keep you on the road to
achieving your goals!
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Be able to change
 Change is a fact
of life (and not just for your hair). Some young women know how to bounce back
when things are difficult or how to learn from these experiences. You can learn
to be that way if you focus on three things:
- Outside supports: These
include friends and other resources that make you feel safe and free to grow.
Turn to the people you trust in difficult times.
- Inner strengths: Know your
best personality traits – like optimism, kindness, or confidence –
and draw on those traits for strength when you need it.
- Learned skills: Know what
skills you need to work on, and develop them when things are going well for
you. For example, if you don't think you are a good communicator, ask a friend
to help you better express your feelings.
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Learn skills that can help
you deal positively with stress
You probably deal with a lot of stress. This could
be stress from impossible homework to fights with your brother. Knowing how to
deal with stress is an important part of being emotionally well.
Here are some tips for dealing with stress:
- Know how you react: Think
about how you act in times of stress. Do you like the way you respond? How
could you improve?
- Seek guidance: Ask others
– such as friends, a pastor, rabbi, or other faith-based advisor,
counselors, teachers, or your parents or guardians – how they respond to
stress. Try what seems to work well for them.
- Make a plan: Think about how
you want to act when you are stressed. Write down the names of people you would
ask for help.
- Be ready to change: Think
about how open you are to change. Think about how you can accept change in
times of stress.
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Increase your
confidence
Have you noticed how some young women have a ton
of confidence, while others struggle to believe in themselves? Confidence isn't
about ability. It's about attitude! All young women can learn to be more
confident.
Here are three ways you can build your
confidence:
- Doing what you do best: The
best way to begin feeling more confident is to focus on the things you already
do well. If you don't know what things you do best, ask your friends and
family. Spend more time on what you do best, and congratulate yourself for your
successes.
- Seeing others do it: Seeing
someone like you succeed will help you believe that you can do it, too. If
there is something you have always wanted to do, find a friend or family member
who is doing it. Ask if you can watch. Then, see if she will help you get
started!
- Use your emotions: If you
have a hard time starting something, use your emotions to help you take action.
It's OK to be excited, nervous, or afraid about something new. Accept those
feelings and use the emotions to get you moving.
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Nurture your spirit
Just like your body tells you when you are
physically tired, you can learn to know when you are emotionally tired. When
that happens, take a break to renew and recharge your soul. Take time to tune
out the world. Connect with yourself and refresh your spirit.
Here are some ideas on how to slow down, turn your
focus inward, and recharge:
- Sip a cup of hot chocolate or drink a glass of
cold lemonade.
- Take a long shower or bath. Pamper
yourself.
- Write down your thoughts, or express yourself
through art or music.
- Meditate or pray.
- Put on your headphones and listen to some
music. Read a book or magazine.
- Sit quietly and feel your breath.
- Take a walk and look at nature. Focus on
enjoying the simple beauty of the world around you.
- Use a calendar to organize your time, and write
in some time for yourself.
 Shelly's story: "If I
have a really long day at school, or a fight with one of my friends, or
whatever, I like to take some time just for me. I go down to the river and
focus on the running water, or watch the birds fly and just relax. I might
meditate, or sing, anything until I feel more peaceful again."
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Quiz: Are you good to yourself
– mind and body?
You are probably good to your friends, but
are you good to yourself? Take this quiz to find out.
- When I think about taking care of
myself, I say:
____ No way, it's not my thing. (0)
____ Sure,
sometimes. (1)
____ You know it! Taking care of myself comes first. (2)
- In your free time, you:
____ Free time? What's free time? (0)
____ Do volunteer work. (1)
____
Do a variety of things. (2)
- Your exercise schedule is something
like:
____ Once a year. (0)
____ A couple of times a month.
(1)
____ A couple of times a week. (2)
- It's important to me to eat
well:
____ Never, I just eat whatever when I can. (0)
____
Most of the time, but sometimes I forget. (1)
____ Always, I need good food
to feel my best. (2)
- Your personal saying is:
____ A busy life is a happy life. (0)
____ Work hard, play hard. (1)
____ I am a beautiful part of a beautiful world. (2)
Scoring:
0-3 Slow down!
You work hard
– way hard! This is not always a bad thing, but trying to balance work and
play is important for both your mind and body. Your hard work is wonderful, but
don't overdo things. Taking time for yourself – such as doing a hobby,
eating well, or exercising – will help.
4-6 Take time to enjoy life.
A hard-working person like you knows what she wants and goes after it. You will
go far in life, but continue to stop and smell the roses along the way.
7-10 You're good to yourself!
Ahhh, you know how to live a balanced life. You understand your body's need for
work and play, social and alone time, hard work and creativity. You know what
your mind and body need and listen to them. Good for you!
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Activities to help you
find balance and purpose
Here are some short exercises you and your friends
can do to help you find balance and purpose in life.
What is one thing you would like to do in
your life?
How could you make more time for
yourself?
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Write down and plan for one of your
personal goals: |
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What is your goal?
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When do you want to achieve your
goal?
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What might stop you from achieving your
goal?
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Who can help?
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List the skills and knowledge you need to
reach your goal.
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Make an action plan.
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List the benefits of the
goal.
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Bright Futures—A Young Woman's Guide to Emotional
Wellness