Photo of a family in a hospital waiting room
So Far Away:
Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers
Introduction
1. What is long-distance caregiving?
2. How will I know if help is needed?
3. What can I really do from far away?
4. How can my family decide who does what?
5. Are there things I can do that will help me feel less frustrated?
6. What is a geriatric care manager and how can I find one?
7. How can I keep up with my mom’s medical and health care?
» 8. How can I make the most of a visit with my parent's doctor?
9. How on earth can my parents afford everything they need?
10. What kinds of documents do we need?
11. Should I encourage my parents to get more help?
12. How can we make the house safer for my mother who has Alzheimer's disease?
13. How can I lighten the load for my mother?
14. How can I help my folks decide if it's time for them to move?
15. What happens if my mother gets too sick to stay at home?
16. How is it that long-distance caregiving makes me feel so guilty all the time?
17. How can I be sure my father's caregiver isn't mistreating him?
18. How can I help my parents think about their future health care preferences?
19. What is the difference between an advance directive and a living will?
20. What if I'm told my mom only has a few months to live?
Resources: Where to Turn for Help
 
National Institute on Aging > Health > Publications > So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers
Print this page E-mail this page

8. How can I make the most of a visit with my parent’s doctor? I don’t want to waste the doctor’s time.

If you go with your parent to see the doctor, here are a few tips that will help you be an ally and advocate:

  • Bring a prioritized list of questions and take notes on what the doctor recommends. Both can be helpful later, either to give information to the primary caregiver, or to remind your parent what the doctor said.
  • Before the appointment, ask your parent, the primary caregiver, and your siblings if they have any questions or concerns they would like you to bring up.
  • Bring a list of ALL medications your parent is taking, both prescription and over-the-counter, and include dosage and schedule (if your parent sees several different doctors one may not necessarily know what another has prescribed).
  • When the doctor asks a question, do not answer for your parent unless you have been asked to do so. Always talk to the doctor and to your parent.
  • Respect your parent’s privacy and leave the room when necessary.
  • Ask the doctor if she or he can recommend community resources that might be helpful.
  • Larger medical practices and hospitals may have a social worker on staff. Ask to speak with the social worker. She or he may have valuable information about community resources.

NIA has a free booklet called Talking with Your Doctor: A Guide for Older People that provides helpful information about doctor/patient communication. It includes hints on getting ready for a doctor’s appointment, making health care decisions, and talking about sensitive subjects. The Resources section of this booklet has information on getting a copy of this guide.

<< Back | Next >>


Page last updated Jan 31, 2008