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Headline: "Tara Reid Checks Herself Into Rehab" Well, she had to slip herself a roofie first, so she didn't know what she was up to. |
Headline: "Ice Storm Cripples Northeast" Resulting in accidents, outages, & Elijah Wood tragically dying while his parents attend key party. |
Thanks to everyone for playing, and don't forget to evangelize the gospel of PUNCHLINE FRIDAY! OMG! |
And the WINNER IS @ish with, "Global Recession hits toy factories in China" Let me get this straight: I'm in prison AND I'm being laid off? |
2ND PLACE @jimhill: "Title, but Unclear Power, For a New Climate Czar" Mission, However, Remains Clear: Defeat Heat Miser and Save Xmas. |
3RD PLACE @divine_pk: "Vatican Denounces Embryo Research." Embryos, unable to see or hear this news, continue their research endeavors. |
Pencils down, kids! The very first PUNCHLINE FRIDAY FREESTYLE is over, and it's time to meet your 3rd, 2nd, and 1st Place winners! |
OMG PUNCHLINE FRIDAY FREESTYLE! @joshacagan me yo' best HEADLINE gag (see my archive for examples) by 6pm PST. Winner gets $25 Amazon card! |
Stay classy, Facebook advertising: http://twitpic.com/s6u4 |
Headline: "Boston Votes to Ban Hookah Bars" A Boston official said, "We cahn't have bahs with hookahs. Prahstitution's WICKED illegal." |
Okay. I need 44 Shorty nominations to come in 4th. As of right now, I have...Well, that's immaterial. Let's get on the stick. 4TH OR BUST! |
Headline: "B of A to Slash Up to 35,000 Jobs" SMS Version: "U @ B of A? Ur F'd." |
Headline: "When Paramedics Are Sexual Predators" They show up at the scene of an accident in an ice cream truck instead of an ambulance. |
Headline: "Tumblr Lands $4.5 Million in Latest Funding Round" Finally, they'll be able to buy that missing "e." |
Headline: "Fran Drescher Seeks Clinton's Senate Seat" She's annoying, inexperienced, and kind of hot. Democrats, we have our Sarah Palin! |
Headline: "Golden Globe Nominees' Reactions" "The Golden Whats?" "They still have these?" "This isn't a real award, right?" |
Headline: "Jennifer Aniston Appears Nude on GQ Cover" Blames Angelina Jolie for stealing her clothes. |
Headline: "5% of Americans Addicted to Sex" And 95% of American men are addicted to watching them online. |
Headline: "Hello Leno, Goodbye Scripted Shows?" Nonsense, said NBC, unveiling new shows, "My Lenown Worst Lenemy" and "Law & Lenorder." |
Headline: "Vint Cerf's Twitter Account Fake" THAT'S why he sent me a DM that said, "I'm the father of the internet, but call me Big Poppa." |
