It's hard to say good-bye to an old friend, kinda like seeing your favorite store close. That's exactly what we've been doing for the last year. Saying good-bye to old friends like Linens 'n Things, The Sharper Image and The Bombay Company. Some retailers like Circuit City said they're just closing some stores to try to stay open, but the outlook is not good. I'll sorely miss Linens 'n Things, where you could get a decent set of sheets for under $50 and nice-looking bathroom and kitchen gear. I outfitted my first house with items from Linens 'n Things.

I could hear my mailman struggling to get a certain envelope through my mail slot recently. It was the credit card bill and I knew it was bad when it finally landed like a brick on the floor.

So my husband and I sat down and analyzed every line of our credit card statement. What we discovered was about $200 in monthly expenses that we could do without. Everything from a Netflix subscription that barely gets used to more than $100 a month in dry cleaning. While Shop To It is a blog about the act of purchasing, it has evolved into a blog about the act of making the smartest purchases. Together as blogger and reader we've debated everything from the best grocery deals and the true savings at warehouse shopping clubs to the best places to board our pets and who has the best deals on photo processing.

This first blog post of the year will hopefully be another great debate on the art of figuring out the must-haves and the nice-to-haves. Here are a few tips on what I learned from my own experience of trimming the nice-to-haves:

Tip #1: Analyze every line of your most recent credit card statement. Make a list of all the items that appear there every month. I'm talking about things like gym memberships, movie rental subscriptions and dry cleaning.

Tip #2: Set some rules for yourself before you start slashing some of those monthly expenses. Our children's activities, like my daughter's weekly art class, were hands off.

Tip #3: Ask yourself which of those monthly expenses are key to your survival and which are just a waste. You'd be surprised how easy it is to forget about expenses that just live with you without being too obvious. For example, my husband and I realized we don't take advantage of our Netflix membership enough. Our $10 a month subscription was cut, which will save us $120 in 2009. I cut the e-mail and Internet service on my cell phone, saving $30 a month or $360 a year.

Tip #4: Pinpoint the stores on your credit card statement where you're spending the most money. Go on a fast from those stores for a few weeks. I'm banned from Target during January because I'm one of those people who walks in with the intention of just buying toilet paper but ends up with $100 worth of additional items.

Tip #5: Shop around for cheaper services. It's so easy to just stick with a retailer because it's part of your routine. For years we've used the same dry cleaner for its convenience but I called others near our house and found a place that charges $1 less per shirt and $5 less per suit. (My motivation to find a cheaper dry cleaner was not only driven by saving some dough but by my husband's suggestion that I start ironing his shirts.) Also, call your phone company and cable provider to see if you can get a cheaper rate. You may have signed up for a premium package during a promotion period and not even realize that you're paying for channels or phone coverage that you never use.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to continue cutting our monthly expenses. The goal is to eliminate at least $20 per month. That could mean buying more generic products than name-brand. Or stopping myself from adding a magazine to my pile of groceries at the check-out line. And asking myself if I really need that 10th tube of lipstick. What are your New Year's resolutions? What have you done to cut your monthly expenses?

Shop To It readers are savvy shoppers and I know this from all the comments that have been posted to this blog over the last year. Some of the most interesting have come from my monthly posts on updating different rooms of your home for as little money as possible. And many of you have graciously shared your own war stories on updating kitchens, bathrooms, closets and home offices. Here are some of the best tips:

Tip #1: When it comes to re-doing the kitchen, consider soapstone for the countertops. Grachel K writes that it absorbs and radiates heat so you can put a hot pot on it. The reader also recommends industrial-grade vinyl tile as a cheap kitchen floor alternative.

Tip #2: Install a few sturdy, attractive, reasonably priced kitchen cabinets for the "public" part of the kitchen and store everything else in a big walk-in pantry, writes Rebecca.

Tip #3: Replace a double-basin kitchen sink for a single, deep sink to maximize counter space, writes stodge.

Tip #4: Make sure you spend your money on the stuff that really matters to you in the kitchen and go cheap with the rest, writes Laura.

Tip #5: Understand what does not work in the current kitchen and find a fix for it, writes Brian.

Tip #6: You can get the best deals on kitchen and bathroom necessities by shopping carefully online, many readers say.

Tip #7: Use Verastone for the bathroom sink countertop. Reader B says it looks like granite or silestone but was about 30 percent cheaper when ordered online.

Tip #8: Mike Sorce writes that he spent less than $1,300 on a complete bathroom update by careful shopping and sourcing trades people from Craigslist. He adds that his wife found a Corian countertop with a built-in sink on Craigslist for $200.

Tip #9: If you're handy, consider doing most of a bathroom update on your own and hire a plumber and electrician for the hard stuff, writes ATB.

Tip #10: When it comes to keeping closets clutter free, several readers live by the rule "one in, one out," which means that when a new item is purchased and brought into the closet, something old must go.

Tip #11: Install a shelf 8 inches off the floor in an entrance hall closet, leaving enough room for a vacuum cleaner. "It is out of the way but easy to get to and there is the shelf to hold all the stuff that accumulates on the floor of the closet," writes charlie1.

Tip #12: A functional home office should include a good file cabinet, a printer stand with a drawer for paper and a big basket on the bottom shelf for cables, routers, etc., writes Olney.

Tip #13: Leslie adds that you don't need a traditional desk, which can be pretty costly. She uses two height adjustable tables placed end to end.

What are some of the most important lessons you've learned when it comes to shopping for home project supplies? Have any shopping dilemmas? E-mail me at shoptoit@washingtonpost.com.

I recently wrote about the hunt for The Perfect Gift. We all want to give it and get it, but that doesn't always happen. So we sometimes have to schlepp back to the store to make the dreaded return. Stores say they have customer-friendly return policies. Even still, we have anxiety about returns.

Stores are adjusting their return policies this holiday season as a way to provide good customer service in a down economy, reports the National Retail Federation. The organization surveyed 82 loss prevention executives and more than half said their companies' return policies would be more lenient. The names of the companies were not revealed but in my informal survey of about a dozen stores, only Sears said it would extend its return policy to 120 days for items purchased between Nov. 16 and Dec. 23. You'll have 90 days to return electronics, software or mattresses. This is nothing new for the store, however. Sears has been giving these holiday extensions for several years, said a spokeswoman.

Here are a few tips for making returns a happier experience:

Tip #1: Carefully unwrap, don't destroy. The packaging of the gift that is. This should be repeated to children with every gift they open. If the gift giver isn't in front of you to hand you the gift receipt, it may be somewhere within the box and can easily end up in the trash. A gift return will go a lot smoother if you have a receipt.

Tip #2: Run, don't walk to the store if you do plan to return, even if you have a receipt. Stores have time limits for making returns and the deadline will creep up on you sooner than you think. Be especially mindful of Amazon.com's return policy: You have 30 days within delivery to return an item. So you'll have to factor in time for the package to make its way through snail mail back to the company.

Tip #3: Look around the store before making a beeline to the returns desk. You never know if something else will grab your attention. That gift could actually turn into something you really want or need.

Tip #4: Go straight to customer service to make a return. Most of the big stores like Target and Walmart will only make returns at their customer service desks so don't waste time waiting in line for a cashier.

Tip #5: Don't assume that all stores have companywide return policies. Many retailers give their individual stores discretion over returns, especially those that come in without receipts. Nordstrom, which is known in the industry for its excellent customer service, doesn't even have a formal return policy. Every return is handled on a case by case basis, said a spokeswoman. So if you're not happy with the way your return is being handled, ask for a manager.

Tip #6: A receipt-less gift return will likely result in a store credit in the amount of the item's worth at that point in time. If you're certain feelings won't get hurt, ask the gift giver for a receipt. 'Tis better to receive a gift that you really can use rather than a store credit for $2.36.

What have you learned from returning gifts? In your experience, which stores have the best return policies and which have the worst? Do you ever tell the gift giver that you returned their gift? (I say don't.)

There are three words that send shivers down my spine: The Perfect Gift. It's what we seek to give. But how do we define the perfect gift? And better yet, where do we find it? Is the perfect gift one in which the recipient starts crying tears of joy? Or is it the gift that cost you practically nothing and still manages to put a smile on their face? It's a hard question to answer and one I tackle every holiday season.

As the recipient, we crave the perfect gift for obvious reasons. As the sender, we want to give the perfect gift so we can be remembered, as well as enjoy that moment of making somebody truly happy. Anyone with kids in their lives knows the sweetness of seeing that unbridled enthusiasm when they open exactly what they wanted. And we definitely don't want to waste our money on things that will end up in the trash or on Craig's List.

At this time of year stores are convinced they have the perfect gift. And Web sites like PersonalShopper.com attempt to help you find the perfect gift by asking you a few questions about the recipient. Out spits a list of ideas. I experimented with one of these sites recently and the result was a list of very bizarre ideas that were completely unuseable. I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law, who I stated in the questionnaire loves music, isn't going to be all that thrilled with a Michael Jackson poster.

Then you have the online wishlists, which are the adult version of a letter to Santa. Amazon.com will let you generate a list for yourself and then e-mail it to whomever you want. Or they can "stumble upon it" by searching Amazon.com for your name or e-mail address. I reluctantly made one for my 5-year-old daughter this year because I knew her grandparents and aunts and uncle would be asking me what she wanted for Christmas. And... OK, I made one for myself too. I'll admit, it's great to get the perfect gift but the older you get, the more awkward it is to tell your family what they can get you for Christmas. Note to family: I will be perfectly happy with whatever you give me. I'll even cry if you want me to. Especially if I get that new laptop that I want.

So how do you generate gift ideas? How do you define the perfect gift? What's the best gift you ever received and what's the best gift you ever gave?

One day I will have windows that don't leak frigid air in the winter and hot damp air in the summer. One day I will have windows that don't require a ladder and extra life insurance to clean. One day I will have windows that slide up and down with ease. Replacing the windows in your home is a big financial endeavor and one I will likely undertake in my lifetime. I tapped the expertise of Celia Kuperszmid-Lehrman, deputy home editor at Consumer Reports magazine, who shed some light on when and how to shop for windows for the home.

Tip #1: Know when it's time to replace the windows. A few clues are whether you have single glazed or double glazed windows. You can tell by looking at the window and seeing if there are two pieces of glass together or one. You'll want to get rid of the single glazed. Vinyl windows bought in the 1970s are good candidates for replacement as well. "Some of those may be showing signs of age because they weren't as good at making the vinyl stiff," Kuperszmid-Lehrman said.

Tip #2: Don't replace the windows thinking you'll immediately start saving money on your heating bill. It should be considered an investment with long-term rewards, says Kuperszmid-Lehrman. The more immediate difference will be less noise coming in and an easier time opening, closing and possibly washing the windows.

Tip #3: Go with standard size windows. Custom sizes will add 15 percent to your bill, which for an average house can range from $7,000 to $20,000. Also consider a partial replacement, which means the frame around the window can be salvaged and just the actual window is replaced. You can also save money by only doing a few windows at a time. Start with the ones that are in the worst shape and in the draftiest part of the house, which is usually on the north side, according to Kuperszmid-Lehrman.

Tip #4: Don't cheap out on the installation. "This is one of those products where the person who installs it is nearly as important as the product," Kuperszmid-Lehrman says. Window installers should go through some of the same measures as any other contractor you hire. Check their references and see if they have had any complaints filed at the Better Business Bureau. Get multiple bids, with details of what they propose to do. Brush up on some of the installation lingo by getting a copy of the installation instructions for the windows you've picked out. Then you can ask lots of questions about how the windows will be installed and whether the contractor plans to deviate from those instructions at all.

Tip #5: Go with a factory-approved installer. That way, if there is a problem during the installation, you're not dealing with finger pointing between the window manufacturer and the installer. You can find a certified installer through the American Window and Door Institute and Installation Masters, two organizations that have certification programs.

Tip #6: If you're replacing the windows because they seem drafty, try caulking around them and the storm windows first. That, along with some weather-stripping solutions, could solve the drafty problem. "Do it in one of the rooms that's the leakiest," says Kuperszmid-Lehrman. Investing in storm windows and getting some of the windows repaired could also plug up the leaks.

Tip #7: Get new windows installed in the winter. Many people hesitate to do it in cold weather because they envision their house being open to the elements. Window installers may be have some deals and discounts during the cold months.

Have you had your windows replaced recently? What lessons did you learn? Where did you find the best deals?

Attention all present and future Wegmans fans. I have good news straight from a company spokeswoman. Alexandria may be one of the next locations for the beloved grocery store.

The new location, if approved, will be part of a mixed-use project at Telegraph Road and Beulah Street near the Fort Belvoir military base, according to Jo Natale, Wegmans' spokeswoman. The company has already signed a letter of intent for the store location and still has to sign a lease and wait for various jurisdictional approvals. "And as such, I can't speculate on an opening date," Natale said in an e-mail. Stay tuned Wegmans lovers.

This is good news for those of you who live inside the Beltway and are jealous of those who live farther out and get to shop at Wegmans in Fairfax, Woodbridge, Sterling or Gainesville. Readers in my last blog about Wegmans begged for a more urban location. Like stalkeyedfly who wrote, "PLEASE, Wegmans -- we need a grocery store in Penn Quarter. Do you know how happy I'd be if you opened one here?"

So what goes into a company's decision on store locations? How often have you seen an empty store front and thought to yourself, "Gosh, I wish they'd put a ____ there." It's not as easy as it may seem. Retailers plan their store locations five to seven years in advance, says Daniel Butler, vice president of retail operations for the National Retail Federation. They consider things like size, expected growth in the community and the kinds of customers a store will attract in a certain location.

Nordstrom, for example, looks for communities with certain income levels, according to Butler. Kohls often likes to be near a Walmart because it's had luck being near the discounter in the past.

"They have complementary but not competing inventory," explains Butler.

Certain local governments will also offer certain incentives for a store to be located in their community, such as tax breaks for creating a certain number of jobs.

You might wonder why the Wegmans in our area tend to be further out in the 'burbs. For an Arlington or Alexandria resident, Gainesville, Va., might as well be in Florida. It's all about size for Wegmans. Natale says the store is larger than most grocery stores, weighing in at 130,000 square feet. That's double the size of an average Giant, which measures about 55,000 to 60,000 square feet, according to a company spokesman.

"We're definitely interested [in a site closer to Washington], but it's very difficult, if not impossible, to find a site large enough and in the right location to accommodate a store our size, particularly in D.C.," wrote Natale.

Hmmm, a Wegmans fan, who happens to live in Arlington, can only dream of that Alexandria store. In the meantime I'll be schlepping.

Which stores do you wish were closer? How far are you willing to travel for your favorite places to shop?

I've been in one Secret Santa gift exchange in my life. It was an office-based event and I'll never forget the excitement of returning from lunch and seeing a neatly wrapped box sitting on my chair. It was more about the fun of receiving an anonymous gift than the actual gift, which I still use, by the way (kitchen towels with snowflakes on them). Secret Santa gift exchanges, in which a group of people pick a name from a hat and secretly buy that person a gift, usually with a set dollar amount, are now being touted as economical, "green" and more productive because people are spending less time shopping. So here are some tips on organizing a Secret Santa event for your family or friends:

Tip #1: Use online sources to help organize the Secret Santa exchange, especially if you have a family that won't be together to pick names and talk about rules. Sites like Elfster.com and SecretSanta.com will help organize the transaction and allow users to create wish lists. Elfster will even let users send anonymous messages to their recipients like "What's your shirt size?"

Tip #2: Encourage members of the gift exchange to set up wish lists. That way people get what they want or don't want. This is where being "green" comes into play: Those unwanted gifts won't end up in a landfill. "There's an old saying that it's the thought that counts. But really it's the thought and the gift that count," says Peter Imburg, founder of Elfster.

Tip #3: Set a realistic dollar limit for each gift and really enforce the rule of sticking to that amount. Families typically choose $75, according to Imburg, but make sure all family members are comfortable with that amount before the shopping begins.

Tip #4: Consider doing a theme-based Secret Santa exchange such as all handmade gifts or gifts of charitable donations. Another idea is to give the gift of time such as babysitting services or cooking dinner for the entire family.

Tip #5: If you have children in the gift exchange, Imburg recommends setting up their own Secret Santa. That way the children only draw each other's names and the adults in the family only draw their own names.

Tip #6: If there are small children in the family, get them a gift card with the amount that they're allowed to spend and take them to a store to buy their Secret Santa gift with the gift card. It teaches them about spending limits and eases any awkwardness in families that may have a couple with the only children in the family and not having to buy that branch of the family the most gifts.

Tip #7: Start getting your family prepared for a Secret Santa gift exchange the day after Christmas, Imburg says. That way people who buy gifts all year round are prepared. Plus, family members may be more willing to do a Secret Santa holiday within days of finishing the frenzy of the holiday season and all the shopping that goes along with it.

Tip #8: If you have a reluctant member of the family, don't force them to be in the Secret Santa exchange, Imburg says. Organize it for the rest of the family and the reluctant one will likely warm up to the idea after seeing it in action the first year.

Tip #9: Don't EVER deny Grandma from spoiling her grandkids on Christmas. Assure her that she can give them all gifts outside of the Secret Santa event.

Have you ever done a Secret Santa gift exchange in your family? Are you planning on this year? What are your tips for making it a fun experience? What other ways are you cutting back on your holiday shopping?

I can't wait to start getting this year's holiday cards. Any day now they'll be shooting through my mail slot, chock full of news and photos of what's been happening with friends and family. Or will that even happen this year? A close family member hinted recently that her holiday greetings would be arriving by e-mail. I was surprised at first and then I remembered spending nearly $100 last year on custom photo cards and stamps. It was a mad dash to get them in the mail so they would arrive before Dec. 25. A lot of effort and money for a card that probably ended up in the trash along with used wrapping paper and bows. So whether you're trying to be more environmentally friendly or watching the budget, here are a few cheaper and even free ways to send a shout-out to your friends and family this holiday season:

Hallmark.com and AmericanGreetings.com offer plenty of free e-cards that you can personalize and even drop photos into. But if you want an e-card without advertising flashing around it and a little more design quality, you can pay Hallmark.com a few dollars to use its Smilebox service. After downloading the program, you'll have access to hundreds of traditional to cutesy cards, including nearly 70 holiday cards. For about $3 you can send a card to as many people as you want that has no advertising, it fills up the entire computer screen and can include a long holiday letter, as well as photos of you and the fam. I found the service super easy to use. AmericanGreetings.com and its affiliate BlueMountain.com offer an annual service for $30 that gives you access to a whole chest of e-cards but they get sent with advertising and I didn't find the designs as appealing.

Plenty of artists have launched e-card services, most of them requiring a small membership fee to send their creations. Some of my favorites include Ojolie.com, whose artist uses Flash animation and hand-painted watercolors to create interesting e-cards for a wide range of occasions and holidays. You pay a $10 annual fee to personalize and send the cards. The site, which has about 50 cards, adds one or two new ones every month. One of my favorites is a card that featured a set of birds putting together a wreath made of berries and pinecones with a soft classical tune in the background. Your personalized greeting would then appear in the middle of the wreath.

I've also been a fan of Jacquie Lawson, an artist in England, who, along with her niece, nephew and neighbor, has designed more than 100 e-cards. Many of her cards, which require a $12 annual membership fee to send, feature animals, including her own dog Chudleigh. One of her newest holiday cards is an animation of a black cat that tries repeatedly to knock a red ball ornament from a Christmas tree. After the cat gives up to clean its paw, the ornament falls on its head and breaks. The card, which also includes a soft classical tune in the background, ends with the words, "Have a smashing Christmas." Both Ojolie.com and JacquieLawson.com let you sample each of their cards before you become a member.

If you have a really good printer, consider a free holiday card template that you can download from a number of sites. Shutterfly offers several designer templates that you can print out at home and then add your own photo. Southworth, a paper supplier, also offers several free templates. Just make sure you get some nice paper for the project.

If you really must send a custom card in the mail and you want a little photo of the family in it, Snapfish.com has the best prices when compared to Shutterfly.com and Kodakgallery.com. A set of 100 4- by 8-inch photo cards will run you $45. Add another $42 for 100 stamps.

What are you doing about holiday cards this year? Which e-card services have you used? How else are you cutting back this holiday?

Some people think kitchens and bathrooms are the most important places in the house. But when I'm house hunting, as I've been doing for the last month, the first room I look for is the master bedroom. What room can be more important than the one where the master sleeps? Unfortunately it's also a room that can be so unappealing if it feels old and weathered. I recently talked to Susan Hale of SpruceUps in Annandale, who gave me a few tips on how to update the master bedroom without spending a lot of money.

Tip #1: It's all about the bedding. Change the look of your bed and you can dramatically change the entire look of the room, Hale says. It doesn't take much either. Even a duvet cover pulled over your old comforter will make a difference. And quilts aren't for old ladies anymore. They can actually be a little more affordable and just as warm as a comforter.

Tip #2: Now is the time to take advantage of bedding sales. Hale recommends the Linens 'n Things liquidation sale, as well as Bed Bath & Beyond, T.J. Maxx, HomeGoods, The Great Indoors, as well as catalogs like Domestications and Linensource.

Tip #3: Those plain wooden round tables you can find at craft stores can be turned into matching bedside tables with nice fabric draped over them. But Hale says bedside tables don't even have to match. In fact, if the tables don't match, you don't even have to match the lamps. "It makes it more interesting when it's not a pair of bedside tables and not a pair of bedside lamps," Hale says. But if you are going with matching tables, the general rule is that the lamps will have to match too.

Tip #4: While you're changing the look of the bed and bedside tables, change the wall color. Painting a bedroom yourself is much easier than tackling a bathroom or kitchen.

Tip #5: The bedroom is where your personal artwork should go. Photos of family, your framed wedding invitation and any other personal mementos can be easily displayed on walls and dressers. Hale says the rule of thumb is that photos on dressers should be relatively small and photos on walls can go a little bigger.

Tip #6: Using the right frames can make a huge difference. If you're buying your own frames for photos and artwork you'll be hanging on the walls, make sure you get frames that don't have the easel on the back. They'll never hang right, says Hale.

Tip #7: That collection of gnomes or any other collection you have should generally stay out of the bedroom. But if you do want to display a few items from your collection, keep it to just a few. "Empty space is just as important as filled space," explains Hale. "It's better to have three or five things grouped together and then nothing."

So what have you done to update your master bedroom? Where are the best places to shop for bedding? Have you found any good deals lately? Be sure to check out Shop To It's tips on updating other areas of the house -- the home office, closets, a child's bedroom, the attic, the basement, the bathroom and the kitchen.