Tips for
Families Separated by Deployment
Stress Management
Here you and the family are, sending your spouse, or son or daughter off
to Iraq or Afghanistan. You are now the source for running the household,
caring for the family, working, and keeping everything together!
Listed below are tips on making the deployment experience one that is a time
of learning, growing with new skills, and sharing your time focusing on the
family and your deployed family member. These tips have been shared from
our families who have gone through the same separations as you are now going
through.
If you have tips that you would like to share with us that are helping you
through the deployment separation period, please contact the Deployment
Support Coordinator with your input. The email address is
Victoria.A.Hooper@usace.army.mil.
Deployment Tips
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”Daddy Dolls,
Inc.”. This is a pillow-like doll with a likeness of your deployed family
member printed on the fabric. The “Hug a Hero” dolls have lessened the
stress of separation. Children are able to hold a 17” doll or 12” doll to
sleep with or use as a comfort. Besides being a “Daddy” or “Mommy” doll,
they also can be used as “Grandparent” dolls. You may see the items
available at website:
www.hugahero.com.
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Photographs of your deployed family
member in the children’s rooms and in the main living spaces.
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Communicating with the family about the
deployed family member constantly. Around the holidays and special
occasions, consider ways to have the deployed family remembered.
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Made videos and send them to each other.
Play them for the children often.
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Keep the children on a schedule. It
helps make their day more secure and also helps pass the time.
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Have a point of contact, a friend or
family member to “check in” each day to make sure everyone is doing well.
Also, have a point of contact for minor jobs around the house that may
need a professional to complete, such as a fallen gutter, a broken window
pane, a leaky sink, etc.
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Plan a once a month outing with friends
or family to just get out of the house for a while. Hire a babysitter,
and enjoy a shopping trip, a movie, or a nice lunch or dinner. You need
to care for yourself and have adult interaction just to lighten your
spirits.
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At the dinner table, light a candle and
place it at the table where your deployed family member usually sits.
This represents them being with you each day.
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Change a clock. We know the deployed
family member is definitely in another time zone! Change on of your
prominent clocks in the hours to reflect the time it is wherever your
loved one has been deployed. Every time you look at the clock you can
have a better idea of what they might be doing. (And you think of them
each time you look at that clock!)
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Share everyday activities with your
loved one. It helps to envision good things at home.
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Take special pictures of the children,
family, and pets and have them made into poster size pictures for the
deployees to have in their rooms. It’s nice to look at someone almost
life size when you are away from home!
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A local news station (News Channel 5)
has a sign up for email news and weather. They offer weather alerts and
current local news for the deployed to see and stay in touch with events
going on at home. The site is
www.newschannel5.com. If you don’t live in the Nashville, Tennessee
viewing area, check with your local television stations.
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Keep a pocket journal. It is not unusual
to speak with someone overseas several times weekly. At the time you can
feel rushed and often forget to mention many of the things you wanted to
share. Keeping a journal in your pocket to record the day-to-day events
is a great tool to be efficient with your time and to share all the
day-to-day news with your love one.
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Set aside a private moment. Next time
you email or speak with your family member, choose a specific time, every
day that the deployed person and the family will stop and think about one
another for a few seconds. It may sound cheesy, but knowing that each of
you is thinking about the other at the same time can be amazingly
comforting.
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Take lot and lots of pictures. This is
particularly important when you have children. Pictures are priceless.
Even if you don’t have the ability to mail them, they will be a great gift
upon returning home.
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Create a Legacy Letter. Keep a pad or a
piece of paper near you at all times. Every time you have a thought about
the deployed person, write it down. Do this for up to a week and then
mail it. The person will feel like they are with you all day long. |