Time is really not on our side
By Daniel J. Calderón

You know they say that Time is a bad mother…
 SHUT YOUR MOUTH
I’m just talking ‘bout Time’ 
 AND WE CAN DIG IT.

Yeah, I know the foregoing is not a direct quote from the theme from Shaft, but it’s the best way I can figure to begin today.
 
Time is the one implacable enemy we all have to deal with. It is the constant that no one can overcome. Money, fame, things – none of these are irreplaceable. Time is the one commodity no one can make more of or replicate. The few seconds you’ve spent reading to this point are gone and they’ll never come back. There are no “do-overs” for time gone by. There is no lost-and-found for any time you might have missed.

I lost someone very close to me very recently. He is one of the best men I have ever known and one of the best I will ever know. He is my uncle.
 
He taught me to play backgammon and helped teach me a lot of what I’ve used through my life. I never realized what he taught me until I really took time to think about it. He helped teach me the similarities among people far outweigh their differences and any of those differences in attitude, culture or outlook should be embraced, studied and discussed.
 
He helped teach me to open myself up to new experiences and new ideas. That outlook served me well when I was on deployment and pulling into ports around the world. Unlike some of my shipmates who went straight to the local McDonald’s or Hard Rock Café, I opted for local fare. I met people who lived in these cities and visited places where they really lived and hung out. I pity those people who couldn’t get past being stuck in all things American.

The time I spent visiting these countries is precious to me. I have memories of that time I’ll never be able to replicate. I wonder if the folks who never ventured outside their comfort zones can say the same thing.
 
My uncle is gone. We buried him back in San Antonio two days after Valentines Day. The only way I’ll ever hear his voice again is on any video recordings we might have. The only way I’ll see his face is in pictures we’ve taken. And I know I’ll never have the chance to play backgammon with him.
 
But I have my memories.
 
I have my recollections of the times we spent together. I remember what he taught me and I remember the time we spent just hanging out watching football, verbally sparring over whether the Cowboys or the Oilers (and later his favorite team was the Raiders) was the better team, or just sitting and talking about nothing in particular while enjoying a couple of barbacoa tacos from Tellez Meat Market (near Kennedy High School for anyone who knows San Antonio).

Time was always against me, my uncle and my family. It beat down inexorably and never slowed its pace no matter how much I tried to hold it at bay. I would attack and eventually destroy Time, but that would probably mess up the fabric of the universe as we know it so I’ll just rail against it and fume in resigned impotence.
 
We only have a certain number of beats in our hearts. When they’re used up, our time here will be done. The trick is to put as much living into each one of those beats as we can. The goal is to leave as many memories behind as possible. My uncle has died. That is a fact. But he will be around as long as I live and as long as the lessons he’s left me with are passed on to my children’s children’s children. It’s a kind of immortality. I’d much rather have the kind where we actually live forever, but I’ll take what I can get. My uncle helped teach me to roll with the punches. Just a thought…