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To celebrate its purchase of the failed Washington Mutual bank, JP Morgan raised the rate on my deliquent credit card to 32%. Glad to help. |
Getting a very big thing done seems to be as easy as getting a very small thing done. Now where the hell are my socks? |
Oh, I already upgraded all my iTunes music out of DRM for free. They threw in VBR encoding too. Apple owns Bittorrent, right? |
It's not a blog meme if there's already a whole website dedicated to it. But I'll admit you're listening to a pretty kickin' song. |
Tivo thinks I'm gay, but Google knows I'm stupid. |
Ask not for whom the escalator rolls; it rolls not for thee. |
If my dad were on Twitter (he'd say these things he has said), part 4: "I know karate, jujitsu, and five other Japanese words." |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 3: "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you donut." Guys, *these are things he actually says* |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 3: "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you donut." Guys, *these are things he actually says* |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 3: "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you donut." Guys, *these are things he actually says* |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 3: "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you donut." Guys, *these are things he actually says* |
Just spent five minutes thinking, "I wish there were a word for people who had kids." Ordering a reverse dictionary and dementia treatment. |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 2: "How long? How Long is a Chinaman." |
If my dad were on Twitter, part 1: "Damn kids. Good thing I was never a kid." |
Facebook friends: Sacrifice me for a Whopper and I will sacrifice your e-mail to a spam server. |
To fix the CA school budget, Governor Schwarzenegger proposed closing the schools for a week. I have an idea for fixing the Governor. |
Dear everyone who's ever reviewed a product on the Internet: Did you know it's possible to rate things two, three, or four stars as well? |
EVERYONE IS A CRITIC. MOST PEOPLE ARE FAGS. |
Let's just be acquaintancenemies. |
Hey guys I found our power animal: http://tinyurl.com/8gazp3 |
