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@bcompton The particularly strong-willed need a tiny push more: You know it to be true. |
Every prayer I've ever uttered has just been answered by the Swash 700 Elongated Biscuit Toilet Seat Bidet at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. |
Wrapping up my searing critique of Beyonce's new hit. But one reference escapes me. What does she mean, Alda Single 80's? |
Poison-Tipped Brittney Spears just seem like the natural next big thing. |
Chilis gives free refils on salsa and soft drinks and the salmonella is always free! |
Julie listens to gospel music like there's a deadly influenza epidemic and she's freebasing the last white blood cells in existence. |
Somewhere on the phaser between stun and kill are millions of us delusional parents trying to glare our kids into obedience. |
@MamitaMojita You know what, my legs are nearly as nice. And by nearly I mean when you're sober. And I'm wearing pants. So, never. |
@MamitaMojita Wait. Mom? Is that you, Mom? I didn't know you're on Twitter. Why didn't you use your real name?? |
@MamitaMojita Safety goggles are to 2008 Virginia corporate parks as Vuarnets on croakies were to 1987 Vail warming huts. |
@smartasshat & @gordonshumway @ccsteff You guys are gonna crash twitpic so hard a black hole will open & we're all inside the event horizon. |
Fwuah please @tinybuddha! Blib blab, the world is impermanent. Blah flah, your anger will punish you. Get laid, you finger-wagging monkbot. |
Sometimes I wonder if we could drop the sarcasm for just a little bit.
But no, I wasn't specifically suggesting today. |
Who has two thumbs, neither if which can use an iPhone keyboard with any measure of competence?
Every freakin' one of us, but we'll evolve. |
@kariedwards The first and last words in holiday self defense are Garden & Weasel. Go. |
@bobthecow I just finished a long cheese about blogsing. Microlink to my? |
@nonlinearmind Say it ain't so! Eating celery is the cornerstone of my workout routine. And by workout I mean entirety. |
@hotamishchick Raise the roof, girlfriend. Raise the roof. |
@techburgh Thankyou for joining me in admitting that online. Now the authorities will come for us both.
Oh, wait, what? |
@frageelay YOU CANT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! |
