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now own a ridiculous amount of Santa costume fixins. about to drink my weight in eggnog for method acting |
we can't be the first to try to weasel out of an actual costume by going as hung over santa and his hoey ho ho ho |
looking for a santa costume... because apparently that's what you do here. |
@MrTweet something's very wrong with your algorithm. @barackobama following someone shouldn't cause you to promote them. Outdegree counts. |
Looking for this movie's plot in the deleted scenes. |
Celebrating the end of the gilded age and prohibition day by choosing which of my 3.5 bathtubs to get my gin from. I'm thinking jacuzzi. |
Is it stupider to ask for a handout without a plan for it, or to pretend that you came up with the perfect plan in two weeks? |
3 bottles of black dye and 20 pounds of paper later l'm fairly certain that we've lost our security deposit. |
It's horrifying to discover after fourteen years that @jessiep is a star wars denier. Is there an inter-galactic tribunal to report her to? |
Fuck Jeopardy, Durant can be on my pub-trivia team anytime! |
Dear San Francisco, what is it with your "bagels"? Please stop selling me doughnut-shaped muffins. |
bringing in macroeconomic collapse appropriate christmas cheer with matte black tree ornaments. also wrapping paper. and souls. |
Why yes, we'll take a 99.67% discount on that chair, thanks. |
@pahlkadot that's a gateway container. just wait until they come over to my neigherbood and discover what you can put in a crack vial. |
@gsatya congratulations on the new job. |
As long as BOA keeps offering us $50,000 of uncollateralized credit, we should stop offering them TARP money. |
you need to stop what you're doing and watch snoop dogg and martha cooking cognac mashed potatoes. go now, i'll wait. http://bit.ly/2mA27n |
game theory for fun: those getting Bush pardons for torture should be redentioned to the Hague, all others subject to US law. |
if i never tweet again, it will be because brown sugar stuffed my arteries with butter and i died in the nap i'm about to take. |
watching my home become a testimonial to the power of analog and obsessive compulsive disorder |
