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Nobody can burn French toast like me. That's what the fire department said, anyway. 9:27 AM yesterday from web |
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Getting involved in a land war in China. I'm probably going to regret it. 4:33 PM Dec 18th from web |
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Why are there are celebrity dead pools, but no hot tubs? 7:42 AM Dec 18th from web |
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Just polished off a box of cookies that said, "Use by 3-28-09." I'm putting on my resume, "exceeds deadlines by more than 3 months." 5:12 PM Dec 17th from web |
Is that an order of monks gathered on a couch, or a family that has just bought some Snuggie blankets? 1:09 PM Dec 17th from web |
Inventing a breakfast in honor of last-minute shoppers called The Holiday Scramble. It's basically eggs mixed with eggnog. 8:30 AM Dec 17th from web |
Talking to Handy Manny. "Girls aren't into me," he complained. I said, "Maybe it's just that your friends are a bunch of tools." 8:03 AM Dec 16th from web |
No joke: Chaquita is putting stickers on their bananas that say, "Pocket sized fun." Also no joke: the bag boy at the store pointed it out. 4:29 PM Dec 15th from web |
What's with people running from What Not to Wear? If ever approached by Stacey & Clinton I would demand to know where they've been. 3:07 PM Dec 15th from web |
Knowing exactly what to buy the in-laws for the holidays, FTW! 3:03 PM Dec 15th from web |
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It's a balmy minus 5 this AM. I think at this point it's no longer taboo to drink at breakfast. 7:53 AM Dec 15th from web |
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My cabin fever is no match for the minus 2 temperatures. I'm sure there's an Rx for this, but it surely involves a bong and a sub to Spice. 4:52 PM Dec 14th from web |