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Will tell alllll about my flight. Later. After I bash my head in a little. |
I have a zit. My underboob itches. The power is out. But in 30 hours I'll be with my girl, and so none of this matters at all. |
EDIT: It eats black panties, not it is black and eats panties. It is monster-colored. As in, the color of monsters, not colored by monsters. |
There's a black panties-eating monster in my house!! |
I just installed and taught my mom how to use Skype. Great. Now she can actually _call_ me from the other side of the house. |
There are giant icicles falling off my house. I should probably collect them. You know, for when I need to commit the perfect murder. |
Yes, Favrd is sometimes slow, doesn't count tweets, overcounts them, or crashes, but STOP SAYING MEAN THINGS OR @TEXTISM MIGHT TAKE IT AWAY. |
The power is out. You know what that means...RUN AROUND NAKED TIME!!! |
So, I'm thinking about taking a shower. Quick, talk me out of it! |
My cousin is on "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" RIGHT THIS SECOND. FOX. NOW. WATCH HIM. |
@thedayhascome I can think of a couple of good supervillains, but they won't be available 'til January, around the 20th. Is that okay? |
Clearing out my dorm. It's crazy how much stuff I _might_ need, _just in case_. Hey, there _could_ be a freak volcanic eruption in New York! |
I just remembered why I hate living in a dorm. It starts with "annoying noisy psychotic 'OMG!!'-type" and ends with "girls across the hall". |
Calling in gay is the new going to work. |
In an effort to not lose my shoes, yesterday I put them somewhere very specific. You know, on top of...next to my...in the...uh...fuck. |
There's nothing like a good computer cleaning to make you realize how much your computer needed a good cleaning. |
I need to hide my Judaism--there's a nun walking around. Crap, I hope the money-counting doesn't give me away. |
First of all, it's freaking cold. Second of all, it's freaking cold. And third of all, sweet motherfucking holy baby jesus IT IS COLD. |
@strutting Dude, I was going to do a "men's sizes" tweet! The typo, the fly, now you--this is terrible, terrible. #firstworldproblems |
And after over an hour of battle...THE FLY LOST! HA! Yes, I know, cruelty to animals etc etc. But come on, flies are fucking creepy. |
