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A new ceiling tile in my office has a white plastic protuberance that looks like a large nipple. And suddenly, I think I want a milkshake. 9:25 AM Dec 9th from web |
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My phone's GPS says I'm currently in the middle of the Harlem River. Perhaps an alternate me has run afoul of the mob. 12:29 PM Dec 4th from web |
Robert: "In recess, we like to play 'Spy on the Girls,' so we can steal their power and upgrade ours." Me: "Good luck with that." 3:30 PM Dec 1st from TwitterBerry |
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Helpful hint: If you're battling insomnia, watching "Brazil" isn't exactly the best way to calm your nerves. 8:35 AM Dec 1st from web |
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Mom pretended she left the pecan pie at home. Now I have to call my lawyer and cancel the emancipation hearing. 10:09 AM Nov 27th from TwitterBerry |
Citigroup is about to be saved, and my 401k is now worth 1.5 toasters. 9:46 AM Nov 24th from web |
Lucky pants worked again! And lo, a full-fledged superstition was born. 5:36 AM Nov 24th from web |
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As a former Citigroup employee, I'm wondering whether to cash in my 401k and buy a toaster. 12:30 PM Nov 21st from web |
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Can you get ADD in your forties? There's so much going on, that I can't concentrate enough to finish anythi 7:44 AM Nov 20th from web |