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me: I know how we can spend that Walmart gift card - the Batman movie you won't shut up about!
her: *blink*
neighbor: Good effort! |
I am, what they call in some circles, a freaking genius. Of course, those circles are small, with padded walls. |
@smartasshat is it up yet? The power! #thatswhatshesaid |
@smartasshat In this post-911 post-katrina neo-energy crisis world, where the hell is your generator? |
Hypothetically, how would you clean baby urine from headphones? I have a friend that needs to know. |
My iphone just suggested I replace ... with epilepsy. |
@Tony_D very different for @vmarinelli too! |
@janit0r like Adam West? Or Michael Keaton? |
Export from pownce completed in 3 ms. #itdied |
To anyone who's taken an extra warm bath, peed, rinsed your hair, *then* remembered the pee. Ha Ha! Glad I've never done that! |
Today, I vow to not tweet about turkey. Damn the inherent paradox! |
Twitter, ye old dog! Good to see you again. Now remind me, what are you good for? |
My sister rocks |
@gerwitz if you're still up, I lost |
Grayson Steele: 7#4 20" 8:31 |
@lonelysandwich I just watched that too. What kind of lame coincidence is the universe wasting it's energy on?! |
off to invoke the_expected.externalize(); |
i thought i became a geek so i DIDN'T HAVE TO HELP USERS! |
Re: Corporate Toilet Paper Dispensers: Pull the top and bottom roll in sync == 2-PLY!! Now all I need is a pocket quilting machine |
@aedison they're more like a uvula, don't miss them till they're gone. |
