HR organized a Viper Field Day to "improve minion morale." Because nothing makes a soldier feel like a man quite like a three-legged race. 8:51 AM Dec 9th from web |
Hot bath. Vintage merlot. Corey Haim/Corey Feldman movie marathon. All I need is a midget masseuse and all the world is right. 9:02 PM Dec 2nd from web |
Ugh.... turkey coma. B's out shopping. I'm trying to decide between a marathon of Mrs. Marple or Faces of Death. 8:03 AM Nov 28th from web |
Used Bluetooth headset during conference call today. Was informed later that it was clearly evident I was sitting on a toilet during meeting 5:55 PM Nov 25th from web |
Pondering buying a huge car company or two. It's bad business, but brilliant Karmic payback for all those years selling used lemons, yes? 8:15 PM Nov 19th from web |
Browsing Zappos, looking for new boots (made for crushing the skulls of the vanquished and/or impressing B.) 8:04 AM Nov 14th from web |
With a big enough laser, I bet I could etch my face on the moon. I'm just sayin' is all 4:58 PM Nov 13th from web |
Poll lackeys tell me I got a few write-ins for Commander In Chief. You know I'd look good on currency. Mirrored coins? You'd stack 'em high. 6:17 PM Nov 4th from web |
Holograms? Please, CNN, we've had these for years! How do you think we prank Destro in the executive can? 4:55 PM Nov 4th from web |
7 days of vacay in Dubai does a villain good. Back to the daily world domination grind. 3:06 PM Oct 30th from web |
Bumped into Zarana this morning down at the Starbucks on the bottom floor of the Extensive Enterprises. She told me I looked fergalicious. 9:37 AM Oct 22nd from web |
Women! Bah! I don't even want to talk about it. I shined my mask for this? 9:27 AM Oct 19th from web |
Dinner with B tomorrow night. Apparently all is forgiven for that "Governess" slip of the tongue. Don't know what to wear. 1:03 PM Oct 17th from web |
Tivo-ed the debate. Catching up now. Fastforwarding through the dull parts. So far, I think my wallet backed the wrong McHorse. 7:07 PM Oct 15th from web |
I made the mistake of calling B. The Governess today. Too many spectacle-d hotties in my head. 6:51 PM Oct 15th from web |
Definitely woke up on the wrong side of the extravagant lair this morning. I need to buy and/or destroy something. 9:09 AM Oct 14th from web |
Scheduling "special" dinner with B for next week. Crimson Twins also inform me Sarah P. wants to meet. It's raining tang in here! CC FTW! 8:55 AM Oct 9th from web |
Lunch = Massive Success! Ended up telling her how I felt about her. WTF right? Asked about her feelings and got "let's discuss over dinner"! 1:51 PM Oct 8th from web |
Call from from B's assistant that she wishes to meet at Applebee's. So she wants to do this in public eh? Let me change into my game face. 11:16 AM Oct 8th from web |
Just got into work. Voicemail from B saying we need to discuss last night's phone call. Supposed to meet for lunch. Curses. CURSES! 9:49 AM Oct 8th from web |