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A guy dressed as Santa just said "what's up, baby?" to me. I challenge you to ruin the magic of Christmas in fewer words than that. |
Tune in tomorrow night for Round 1 of My Strapless Bra vs. Gravity, Holiday Party Season Edition. |
Booking tickets to Aruba with my boyfriend! He's excited to be in the sun; I'm excited to hunt for Natalee Holloway. |
google's frighteningly accurate search suggestions can't be helping all the paranoid schizophrenics out there. |
sometimes IT advice sounds like the lead-up to an insult. "no, YOU clear your cache, asshole!" |
Carefully peeling a cucumber and then accidentally dropping it in the trash is the culinary equivalent of a case of the Mondays. |
Hey, all-natural food companies: including "pure love" in your list of ingredients doesn't make me want to buy your product more. |
Second-world problem: the fact that second-world problems are never discussed. |
happy for my lactose-intolerant friends that they can see the movie "Milk" with no gastrointestinal consequences. |
which one of santa's elves will be tasked with explaining the difference between naughty, nice, and recession-year-nice? |
Nothing feels as powerless as those terrifying seconds when you know someone is about to put the pen they borrowed from you in their mouth. |
tore cartilage in my knee. doctor's forbidden me from going dancing, among other activities. clubbers: your long nightmare is finally over. |
Had my palm read for the hell of it. Psychic and I both gasped when I took off my glove, revealing a smudge of dirt on my palm. I'm cursed! |
drowning out the holiday music from the xmas tree seller across the street by turning on the radio- which is also playing holiday music. |
It's nice when "it's the most wonderful time of the year" plays in hot, overcrowded, loud places. No, really- that's very nice. |
Accidentally bought sheets that are too big. My bed looks like it's suffering from a medical condition featured on Discovery Health channel. |
@mikeindustries you've been manilowed! |
some day, i will actually put soy sauce instead of balsamic vinegar on my salad on purpose. then who will be laughing, cafeteria? THEN WHO? |
the drugstore had a big sign that said "prescriptions in rear" and i laughed a little too hard for a sober girl in her mid-twenties. |
god, i'm so tired. almost as tired as after that time i spent hours trying to explain Julia Allison to my parents. |
